Test-the-Terone: (21 Questions) by Terver Trump Malu and Sally

 

Recently, I asked over thirty women via the net that if they had just one question to ask the opposite sex, what would it be? It might surprise you the type of responses I got. *clears throat* I had to censor some but by and large, my conclusions were that females are not the only species that need figuring out. Men leave a lot of unanswered questions about the very outlandish ways they behave. Many times, couples fight because women simply don’t understand that boys will just be boys no matter what anyone does. Mothers who have raised them know this and in another world, we would be going to them for answers but today, I have decided to dump the load on just one guy.

Yes, Terver is here again to answer your questions, ladies. This should prove interesting because some of the questions are, like I said… hmmmm…

Just go on ahead and read for yourselves, guys. Of course, ladies, he will be speaking in manguage. If i were you, I would read between the lines at the not-so-obvious manswers.

1.      Why do men run away from commitment? Penny

TERVER: Well Penny, I think it is a bit unfair to generalize that all men run away from commitment. However, the best way I can explain this is by giving you an illustration. A single guy is like a lion in the jungle, wild and free. Committing yourself to a relationship is like capturing that lion and keeping him in a zoo where all his activities are monitored for the rest of his life!

SALLY: Never really seen a lion that found it hard to break out during the hunt. Kiss the zookeeper and get the key!

2.      How can you date and love one woman and shag another and clean your

mouth like nothing happened? Melly

TERVER: Hi Melly. Before I answer that question, I think it is important that I state here that every man’s first basic instinct is Sex…not reproduction, just good ol’ sex. Unlike women, men have the ability to completely separate emotions from Sex. A man can be truly, madly and deeply in love with his partner but still want to bang the sexy house girl…its second nature. That doesn’t mean that every guy is sleeping with everything though, some of us are able to hold back.

 3.      Why do men have erections early in the morning? Miriam

TERVER: The morning erection (aka morning glory) is like a self-automated test. It’s nature’s way of checking to see that all systems are go for the day….

SALLY: Wow! what a world of very healthy men!


4.      Why are men just clueless? Glen

TERVER: Because a large appendage of our brains is found in between our legs and we don’t use it for thinking half the time. Women should know that men don’t understand women’s subtle hints or subliminal messages (when you say you’re fine when you’re actually not), we believe you! What can I say we are the less intelligent gender?

SALLY: Gbam!
5.      Is it really possible for a guy to be faithful to only one girl
especially if she is in a town far away from him? Promise

TERVER: Yes it is….but that guy also probably has an ‘S’ tattooed on his chest and walks around in blue tights and a red cape.

Somebody save me!

SALLY: Awwww…. But we love that ‘S’ guy.

6.      Why are straight men homophobic? Mnena

TERVER: There is absolutely nothing natural about 2 guys wanting to screw each other. Just the thought of it would make any heterosexual guy cringe…which comes off as homophobia. Its alien to our Culture and I really doubt that it will ever be accepted as a norm.

7.      What’s the worst lie you have told? To whom? And were you caught? Fatima

TERVER: When I was a teenager I lied about my age a lot of the time because I had a thing for older girls. I once told a girl I was 25 when I just only 17, she was 26. She caught me but it wasn’t really a big deal. We didn’t date for long though.

SALLY: Oh, you cub. so you like cougars, huh?
8.      How fat is your bank account? Fola

TERVER: It looks a little something like this…N230, 594, 4..…. Oh wait that’s my account number!.….. well I would humbly say I’m doing okay.

SALLY: Ladies, I have his BB pin, phone number and house address. And he’s single too.


9.      Do you guys keep a secret child somewhere? Sandra

TERVER: Huh?..

SALLY: Sandra, a secret child is a secret child. Some sow their wild oats and never go back for harvesting.
10.    Why is it that only few men can be trusted? Ana

TERVER: Well Ana, I think that is a personal decision. It’s a bad world and people generally cannot be trusted naively.


11.     Must you like sports/ games? Deola

TERVER: We have to! It’s the only time when we don’t have to think about bills, problems; women….please just allow us our 90minutes in a day


12.     Do you think you are more superior than women? Chi-chi

TERVER: Absolutely! I also believe that women might be the more intelligent gender but from ants to lions to monkeys and even fishes, the male specie is always the leader of the pack.

SALLY: That’s why we love to put the lion in the cage.

13.     What does it feel like carrying ‘it’ around? Tonia

TERVER: like a demi god! Question is how does it feel not having “it..”..i guess that’s why men are Cocky…*wink*

SALLY: Cocky, Terver, really? You just had to say it!

14.     Why don’t men show emotions? Faith

TERVER: Showing all your emotions can be read as a sign of weakness. Iit’s not like we don’t, we just know how to hide it, Faith.

 
15.     What is with the B’s- big Breasts and big Butts and Beer? Destiny

TERVER: First of all, Beer is the single most genius invention ever! 2, Men don’t have boobs so we’re fascinated by it, plus that was the first part of the female anatomy we were introduced to at birth. Lastly in the words of a great man, “a big booty makes the sex last” –Ludacris

SALLY: Ladies, the real truth about the B’s is something like this–> big breast+big butts+beer= baby bump, broken heart, his big beer belly and a lot of BS.
16.     How often do you think about sex in day? Lami

TERVER: I think it varies for different peopleFor me personally I guess it depends on the environment, the situation and company I find myself around…nothing extra ordinary though

SALLY: Yeah, ’cause ordinary just does it for them most of the time.


17.     My boyfriend won’t visit me if he’s broke and I tell him I don’t
really care about the money, so I want to ask if making money comes
before being with your beaus? Kate

TERVER: Money definitely plays a huge role for a guy in a relationship. When a guy is broke, it sometimes affects his confidence and ego because any self-respecting man wants to be able to provide for his girl all the time. But if and your boyfriend have been dating for a while, I see no reason why he should be so insecure.


18.     What do you guys talk about when you hang out to drink? Esther

TERVER: Football, politics, women (other than our partners), money, career, did I mention money?

SALLY: Did he mention More Women?
19.     If you woke up discovering you turned into a woman overnight, what
would you do? Marcie

TERVER: Go back to sleep until I wake up from that nightmare!

I’m not really smiling

SALLY: Haba, Terver, it’s not that bad.

20.     Who comes first, your mother or your wife? GG

TERVER: Wow that is a tough one GG….but my Wife and Kids will come before anything else.
And one last one from me:
21.     Why do guys shake hands unnecessarily? For instance, a guy goes,
‘mehn, how did you see that game last night?’ and the other goes, ‘ah,
our team whooped their asses!’ then they laugh and shake hands. What’s
up with that? Sally

Lol……….it’s just our way of bonding. Lions rub up against each other, dogs sniff each other’s butts….. We shake hands.

SALLY: And ladies give each other the ‘eye’.

And this pretty much wraps it up. Anyone has answers to the questions above? Please, share!

Terver “Trump” Malu is an entrepreneur and CEO of manswersonline and the self proclaimed undisputed King of Monopoly board game.

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19 Comments

  1. Lol, I love it, read it like an exam dubs, I love it…. I think I have to be one of ur biggest fans! Mw, terver u killed those questions wit ur manswers like u had a meeting wit a bunch of men over beer to discuss them! Big ups to you Sally, u had great come-backs tho,lol. This piece is awesome! Kip it coming

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  2. Owen Dadzie Reply

    I was laughing all the way. This is a very interesting piece. Well done babe.

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