…and I liked it.

NAVEL GAZING… Beyond What I See

Now here you are rushing here to find out what I liked. There’s no way to take the sting out of this so I’ll just cut to the heart of the gist and say it as straightest as I can. I kissed a girl and I liked it. I would now give those of you who are wondering if this is Sally’s blog a few seconds to absorb the shock before I continue.

Still want to read on?

For those of you who knew me in school, you could say I wasn’t a very good girl. I will not explain why. My past is my past. I had my issues like everyone else. One interesting day, hanging out with friends, I was dared to kiss a girl. At first in my head the idea was appalling but there was this crazy side of me then that just for the fun of it decided what the heck. A kiss is just a kiss, right?

And so I kissed her.

I was expecting to hate it but I kind of liked it. don’t ask me what I was high on. I can’t remember but at that point, my faith in God and my reputation as a minister’s kid had taken backseat to my pleasures. I don’t know if it was the hooting I was receiving from my friends or the thought that I had done something forbidden that made me like the kiss. Mind you, I didn’t like the girl. A time would come when I would deeply regret my actions but at that point, it felt good.

There are times, as Christians we fall off the wagon and where we fall feels so good and for that moment, you don’t want to hop back on that cart of righteousness and continue on your pilgrimage. I have been there and if you are an honest Christian, you know what I am talking about. I’m writing this piece because of late I have been thinking about the rise of homosexuality in Nigeria. We all know that it is against the law to be homosexual here and the punishment is a fourteen year jail term but just like everything that doesn’t work in Nigeria, nobody’s arresting anybody for being gay.

There are some people who hardly come across homosexuals in our country but there are others who face them every day. I live in Lagos and there are a good number of openly gay people here that I am beyond being shocked at this point. Let’s be realistic, the gay thing will one day be part of us and that law against them will eventually be  gotten rid of. I have fought against this thought becoming reality but deep in my heart, I know we are in a jet age and everything you see in the western, developed world will in due course catch on here. We must understand the disparities in culture when trying to understand some of these sensitive issues. The developed societies I am talking about have had homosexuals for a very long time that homosexuality has in fact, become part of their culture but it is not our culture here. Yes, there are certain lifestyles and sexual orientations that are greatly influenced by a society’s traditional way of life. For instance, polygamy is against the law in places like America but in Nigeria, we know it is not much of an issue amongst some tribes and even with the Muslims. Hence, it is safe to say that when we see the acceptance of homosexuality slowly rising here, it is simply a borrowed culture.

I love Jesus and I am not ashamed or afraid to say it anywhere. I am very flawed and sinful and I seek His mercy everyday as the Holy Spirit convicts me, so my take on the whole gay issue is going to be based on my faith and I am not sorry about that. My God totally abhors homosexuality and He minces no words when He talks about the consequences of sleeping with the same sex. As for me, I take His side. Now, does it mean, I should hate on gay people? no. I mean, NO!!! Someone just last week in a social forum on the web reacting to my take on homosexuality told me I was discriminatory against them. Another said I should _______ choke and die! I found their statements mildly amusing because I had a very close gay friend in school. I didn’t know he was gay then and I should have seen all the signs but he was just a friend to me and that was that. Anyway, eventually, two people at separate times brought my attention to his sexuality and it was then I realized they were right. Did it stop me from being friends with him? No. I still loved him the way he was and I guess as a Christian that comes first. God gave His only begotten Son but it was stated that he loved the world too. So who am I to judge? After all, I kissed a girl once.

Sadly, a lot of Christians have missed the message about Christ’s unconditional love and stay on the side where people throw stones. I have been on both sides—the stone thrower and the stoned and believe me, neither side feels good. So the big question here is how should Christians react to gay people? The answer is simple. Love them.

Very difficult, right?

No, it is simple. Love is the simplest thing to do. How you intend to preach the gospel to them is entirely your own decision. I take the Word of God freaking seriously and I do not for the life of me waste my time arguing about what He says in it. I try my best to stay away from unproductive arguments about sensitive issues especially when it concerns what God has already written. I mean the Bible is black and white with no tinge of grey and if anyone wants to know why I am not gay, I would invite them to an open and honest discussion about what I believe. I will not be bullied to feel I am on the wrong side; neither will I bully anyone who does not take my side. On the social forum where I was told to choke and die, I felt like the one being discriminated against because when a Christian expresses his/ her views about homosexuality, he/she automatically becomes homophobic, bigot or a hater. I have sadly watched my brothers and sisters in the Lord remain silent and lose who they are and what they believe in because they are afraid of being labeled unsavory names by non-Christians.

We all want a world with peace and lots of love but most times, this is easier said than done. No one should hate on someone simply because of what they believe. God does not condone it and neither does common sense. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. This is His golden rule, so it is illogical when His followers hate non-followers. I have chosen to serve God and talk about His goodness no matter what anyone thinks about me but at the same time, I have chosen to love as He does because after everything is said and done, LOVE conquers all.

My message to everyone:

LOVE your neighbor as yourself. LOVE those who hate you. LOVE as God loves you.

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13 Comments

  1. Sally, you went and touched a sensitive topic. I like your angle on this and how you balanced it on both sides. What ticks me off about we Christians is how mean we can be to non-believers without really looking in to see our own sins. Some people are gonna hate you for this but keep it up. We need to be more honest around here. tired of all the hypocrisy.

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    • Thanks, The King.
      i know some people will hate me after this post but i don’t care. the problem of intolerance and hatred is why we have soldiers in the boko haram army today. just becos one doesn’t arm himself with a bomb or gun doesn’t mean he’s not capable of hate. it all starts in the heart. i have decided to do things differently.
      throwing stones has left me with heavy hands. i’m tired

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  2. Sally, so if i get you right, you’re condoning homosexuality? so we should now accept it as way of life here?

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    • Wow, P,thanks for your comment but did you read what i wrote?
      1. i am not gay and i do not believe in homosexuality
      2. i am a CHRISTian. Christ there is emphasized because of his teachings about love. i love gay people even when i don’t feel like it because i cannot be a true Christian without love.
      3. Who am i to condemn someone to death or hell when i am not God and i cannot see into eternity?
      4. When has the message ‘die, sinner, die!’ changed anyone.
      5. If anyone i love, anyone close to me becomes gay, do i stop loving them?
      there is nothing you would do to stop homosexuality, so deal with it in love!

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  3. I am not gay. But I can be.
    I have not raped but I can. There is a train load of crimes that I can commit but I haven’t.
    I am just grateful to God that I haven’t done any of these, and I pray he keeps me on the right part.
    If you think you can’t be gay, dare yourself.

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    • You get my point exactly! Never believed I could kiss a girl and like it but I did. After all we’re just humans. God is the one who helps us.

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  4. You have carried your message well. I think this is the way we should really take on most of these. Several people would shoot you for this but really it’s their take. You have spoken and you have spoken well. I can’t say what the heavens would feel of this but oh well, well done. Cheers!

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  5. Thank you for writing this article. I had always wanted to write a piece on this topic…God save us all.

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  6. Ask me, I’ll say anyone who ‘shoots’ you for this post has a problem understanding very simple English, more so, a good piece straight from a well functioning and intellectual head. The points are well stated and in simple diction, should not be misunderstood by a good brain. You haven’t condemned any party, you have just clearly expressed your take on the issue and it really shouldn’t make everyone happy. Your opinion, your choice! By the way, kissing a girl, eeeewwww. I’d rather dare to touch her boobs than saliva exchange, Lols.

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