The Chronicles Of An Adopted Child #8 – Semione Abi

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12 Responses

  1. Phortunate says:

    Good one…ur prose is getting better day by day….

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  2. kevwe says:

    Hmmmmm. Interesting!

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  3. AOS says:

    Hmmmmm interesting….i have a feeling it’s Tom’s child, good job dearie.

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  4. adeola gem says:

    Me too. I think Caleb is Tom’s. What a twist! I am so in love with this episode. Good work semione. Thanks.

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  5. toyenlon says:

    Nice one.

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  6. darkiebussie says:

    I didn’t plan to leave a comment but I couldn’t take it anymore. I believe feedbacks are essential to help us hone our skills and correct our mistakes. So, take all what I’m saying as constructive criticism. I am not a writer but I’ve read enough for me to be able to make some corrections.

    First and foremost, if the story was about caleb from the onset while did we go from marie’s parents to marie and we kept going in a merry-go-round and now we are at caleb. I feel you were writing all these spontaneously. Like you wake up one day and write something and the following day you write what comes to your mind. No! You need to be focused and write things. You shouldn’t be jumping from one character to another esp if the title is “the chronicles of an adopted child”. I feel everything should be seen from caleb’s perspective.

    Secondly, one day marie was 7 and following day she’s 13. I don’t understand. You keep losing me and I keep losing interest.

    Thirdly, the language you tend to use. “Nigga” “fuck” etc. I’m not saying one can’t use it but the language can actually make one lose interest especially when you can use proper expressions .

    I feel you are making a huge effort to write a good story. It is good but it can be better when you consider all these and more advices from others.

    Keep up the good work.

    P.S Find people that can edit your story properly.

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  7. amaka says:

    Semione….am with darkiebussie on this one,u should look at (go get her) and do some restructuring on your work…its good but can be better

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  8. Oke says:

    Its not easy to write a story but when u write something make sure dat pple can understand it. Your storyline is great just needs editting

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  9. Oke says:

    Its not easy to write a story but when u write something make sure dat pple can understand it. Your storyline is great just needs editting

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  10. adekola funmilola says:

    Well done, I think the story just got complicated! Interesting read!

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  11. Ramat Yusuf says:

    as for me i enjoy every part of your story Weldon keep it up and as for those people that are seeing error in your work please i want to them to write their own too so that we can read and learn and should stop finding someones mistake. please we are patiently waiting for episode 10

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  12. calabargal says:

    Intriguing!

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