Best Man Duty #5

Read previous episodes of Best Man Duty

“It was very nice meeting you at the wedding Dot”

“I appreciate that too bae. Whenever you come to town, pls lemme know”

“Sure. I have a seminar to attend next month sef. So it may be soon”

“Was thinking I’d be the 1 to show up and get you hosting me ni fa. Gon’ expect you then”

“And who’s stopping you from showing up? It’s a big city nah. You’ll get your fill”

“Fill of what? I can’t come looking for an oil sheikh’s babe except I have other businesses to conduct”

“Yaaa just something else shey you know? I wish I actually have that oil sheikh. I wish he’s even just a government official, my shakara for rival the President’s wife own for this FCT. Dude is a regular young man like you jor”

“All follow. Abj huzzler dey diff from Gidi own sha o. No FG money to chop in our dear Gidi”

“Na you sabi that one Mister Best Man, or best boy like Cynthia called you”

“And talking of my best girl, you Zee are just a sweet person. Know that for real. I owe you one”

I was in bed, back in my ever bustling Lagos. As I chatted away the evening with her, scenes of the night out played in my head. Queen obviously knew I was back in town but her yeyeness did not allow her show up. She was forming angry, and I loved it because I was not ready for her wahala. She had become very predictable, my very troublesome, pretty babe. I already knew how to get her sorted after her bouts of needless annoyance.

While Queen’s shadow enveloped my living room like it always did when I missed her, I could not blank out the very eventful time with Zee. For all of my philandering, no one had openly flirted with me in a while the way she did. While out at the party, her hands did not stay in one place. They were just straying like a lost lamb looking for its mother. The drink she took further emboldened her to do whatever it was she was thinking of in her head.

Not much of a dancer, I sat and watched as my clan and the babes around just danced away to different tunes by different musicians. She asked me to let us get on the dance floor but I politely rejected, choosing to try to get her talking. That was my way of engaging any female company I had at events because of my absolute lack of dancing skills. When the drink started acting well, she did not even bother; she just drew me to the floor. I obeyed and followed her as she had refused to dance with any of the clan. Lucky me, that was the exact time the couple joined the party.

The fast paced dance hall music had to stop and we toasted to a very happy home for them. Music changed and it became the kind I loved that boomed out of the speakers. Slow music, the one that gets two people cling to one another as if their lives were in each other’s arms.

She did not wait for the music to start playing before she pushed against me. I felt the succulence of her breasts against my chest, and my head spun. Sam and Dorothy led the way while every other person was ‘doubled’ except some people whose faces I could not pick who sat in the dark recesses of the hall ‘doing things’. Being a boob fetishist, I drew her closer to feel the twin towers more than lightly. I knew fire was burning in that hall at that moment so I just blanked everyone out.

When Cece Winans’ ‘I Promise’ started playing, my mind went to Queen and flashed a picture of her right before me. I did not allow that to faze me as I simply replaced it with Zee’s while my imagination placed Cynthia in that situation.

What won’t alcohol do to the mind? That song triggered something that made me finally take her lips with mine. She responded straight and we locked lips, gently moving over one another’s lips, allowing the desire to build. An expert kisser blessed with full, smooth lips, she urged me on, probing into my mouth and I responded as if it was the kiss of life. I would not lie; she rivaled Queen with her mouth game. The music was long over before we broke the kiss. We just looked at one another like drugged people; the lust was burning veins and tearing down defences.

“Let’s go”, I said gruffly, dragging her out of the hall. She had dragged me to dance; I was the one doing the dragging now. I am very sure it was a matter of seconds that it took us to get to the room. The desire to have one another was too heavy. We managed to let the door close before we resumed, tearing at one another like starved maniacs. Hands got to work, mine and hers, touching good parts and removing hindering pieces of clothing. I did not care what was going down, I just knew I was going to explore, with Zee for the first, and maybe the only time.

I illuminated the room with the small table lamp to give a small shade of light. We got busy, matching one another for pace and stroke till the peak built for us both, she first and me less than a minute afterwards. Mind blowing shag, the kind I had not experienced in a while. We looked at one another and there I saw it, a smile of contentment on her face, and within me, that relaxing feeling that comes with release. Sleep won afterwards.

She fulfilled her promise of getting me a way to track Cynthia. If you are not a promise and fail person, you got all of me. That gave Zee a good rating with me. I was very tired, totally spent at daybreak but she sat by the edge of the bed doing something I did not bother to know till she called my attention. I was far away and only the tingly feeling of her slight touch brought me back. She handed me her phone and smiled.

“There you are Mister, your Best Girl’s Facebook. Add her up and take it up from there. Looks like I’ve tried on that front”, she said and paused, “and on the other front”, she added with a very seductive wink.

I could not contain the excitement. I sat up and collected her phone while I picked mine as well to search and add Cynthia up on Facebook. Zee got up and went into the bathroom, half clad. Much as my attention was on the name I was keying into my phone, I saw her go and there was a movement at the ‘south pole’. I finished my Facebook assignment and dropped the blackberry on the bed before following Zee into the bathroom.

“Make we do one more for the road”, I mused, grinning with mischief.

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Shey you didn’t hear that I was knocking the door ni Dotun. This your Port Harcourt trip don bring change o, abi what’s all this rubbish now?”

This winsh don carry her wahala come. When I wan rest for Chrissake?

“Must you scream? Must the whole compound know you are at the door? Haba! I was sleeping nau

“You will still lie down there and burn my credit instead of you to come open the door ehn? Abi you don bring one of the bridal train girls come Lagos?”

I did not answer; I just ended the call and made for the door. Queen knew how to find trouble on days she was set for it. She knew I was back but did not come because she maybe was hoping to catch me doing something nasty, I so know her thought pattern. Troublesome as she was, I needed her around because it was she that reined me in.

“All hail my Queen, my own Dame Impatience”, I tried bantering. She just zoomed past me like a train that was going to crush whatever stood on its way.

“Dotun yaaa a meanie sha. You are just a very mean person. You came from PH and waited for me to come over abi. You’re so tired of me you chose not to lemme know you have arrived. Keep it up o. To make it worse you’re calling me the Queen of Impatience abi?”

I sighed, smiled and got closer, holding her by the shoulder “Did I ever call you that?”

She eyed me as if to cut my head with those cute eyes. “Dotun move back. Just leave me alone. Don’t start patronizing me abeg

She knew I would keep doing the exact opposite of everything she had said but she would not stop struggling. I grabbed her waist from behind and used one of the lines she always used in times of disagreement – “if you like vex till next year, na me still own you”. She twisted herself free and hit me on the shoulder. She was letting down her guard, regaining control of her temper.

“You’re just a wet pant Dotun. See your life, na my own words you dey use pacify me. No bit of being romantic in your big head. Yeye boyfie, I no go marry you this way I swear”

“Baby baby, even if I am the wettest pant in the whole world, you will still leave the dry ones to wear me”

“Leave me jor. You better change your ways”

She went into the kitchen after that and I knew I had company for the night already. Looking at the calendar, I knew it was a public holiday the next day. I just picked my blackberry and entered the toilet. I knew I had to resave some information if I did not want midnight war.

“Gotta go Zee, the city calls. I need to see someone in town”, I typed furiously into my chat with Zee. She replied as if she’d been waiting – “Okies. Ttyl”. I ended that chat and some others, then deleted some calls from the log. Clean phone, I bounced out of the toilet, confident enough to leave my phone anywhere.

I went into the kitchen and Queen was not there. I opened the back door, thinking she had gone to dispose the waste but she was not there. I closed the door and turned to see her looking at me, shaking her head.

You this Dotun ehn! Where did you go?”

“Me? I go shite ni now”

“You didn’t hear your phone ringing?

“How would I hear from the toilet? Maybe you’ll lend me one of the ears of your village chief”, I replied, sticking my tongue out to which she rolled her eyes. “I was with the other phone really. Whoever was calling should have called the other one nau

“Anyways, Sam called and I answered him that you are somewhere within the house. When I did not see you, I had to end the call”

“Marriage dey remove sense for person head? That idiot knows he should call the other line if I did not answer the one he’s called”.

She handed me my phone and went back into the living room. It was time for her yeye Telemundo but I knew better than to drag anything with her. I wanted to act lovey dovey so I went to lie on the sofa, my head on her laps.

She was concentrated on the television while I was multitasking on social media. I was checking my twitter timeline to see if there was one of the needless twitfights and gossips. I was at the same time seeing some of the wedding pictures on Instagram, of course I was looking out for Cynthia. I clicked on my Facebook notification to see if she had accepted my friend request.

Queen pushed my head aside and went to the kitchen to serve dinner while I left the living room almost immediately to clean out the room in readiness for the night. The rest of the evening went without any issue. It felt like old times when we would chat and make jest of one another. I even slept off with my head on her laps, and her hand rubbing and stroking my face and beards. I did not know how I retired into the room but with her by my side, I knew it was going to be a very beautiful night. The wind went out of the sail some minutes later however. After changing the lights to the dull, night one, she tapped me – “Dotun, who is Zee?”

Sleep deserted me and I sat up. The jury was out against me, and I had to look for quick defence before hell would be let loose.

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52 Comments

  1. Hahahahaha…yeye guy
    One day for the thief, one day for the owner.
    Welldone Seye

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  2. “who is zee?” the devil is a liar 😂😂😂😂
    When you think you’ve covered all your bases and she still gives surprise attack 😂😭😓. Oh boy! And see the timing, person brain don dey sleep already.

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    • Seye

      She waited till it was the time witches were on Dotun’s matter…Loooool.
      Thanks Anthony, thanks

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  3. ghen ghen ghen ghen…..esisi carry pomo
    zee is the party planner, I saved the number in case I need their services.. shikena, problem solved. Dot abeg say that with confidence

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  4. Lmao. Clean phone indeed yet she found Zee. We ladies are trying. God help us.

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  5. Ifeanyi Onochie Reply

    After all his undergee moves, she still found out about Zee. Hehehe. Next episode, please!

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    • Seye

      Dot and Queen, seems one fits the other.
      Thanks for reading and dropping some lines Ifeanyi

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  6. How can someone be in a multi relationship.This Dot is really with a fullstop.Welldone Seye

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    • Seye

      You think he’s with a full stop when he may just be with a semi colon 😀
      Thank you Fsf

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  7. Queen is #teamsnoop hehehehehe…
    Gongo aso, e wo Ile,e wo enu oko *in 9ice’s voice* hehehehehe. Dotun u go just kill ursef with woman matter.
    Thanks jor Seye

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  8. gbeseri oh! no be small thing, dotun Don hear am, feeling sharp, but don’t know the queen is sharper lol….. thanks seye

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  9. Hahaha oh my goodness
    Dotun is in trouble nice one
    Keep up d good work

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  10. lolz!!! Dot man, u see say God don ready to punish Satan abi? oya answer ya queshun! good job Seye.

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  11. He he he he heheheheeh.
    Yawa oti gas ni. But this Dotun self, jez now-now you did zee, you want to do ya gf and ure still pursuing Cy like fly to shit. ..

    Lemme ask. Why are most men like this tho? (I know some guys might start arguing now. Me, I doesn’t mindeth ooo.

    Anyway, oga Dot, oya who is Zee? Quezcion.

    .
    I’m liking this series o. Keep up with the good work sir

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    • Seye

      This thing about ‘most men’, me adonno o. Lemme try, maybe for these ‘men’, varieties is the spice of life.
      Thanks Gladly

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      • I just knew the “variety” line was gonna pop out somewhere. lol…

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