Best Man Duty #6
I looked at Queen’s sleeping form and smiled. Oh, my Queen, the exact paragon of beauty at whose sight heads turn and men drool. She never stopped making me giddy with excitement anytime I reminisce on her positive impact on my drama-filled life. This morning was no exception.
She lay peacefully, like a baby without any bother in the world. Despite the very bad argument we had the previous night, her hand hung tightly across my chest. No matter how heated our regular disagreements, she would hold me tight as if something or someone was going to steal me from her side whenever she was sleeping over.
Much as I have come to appreciate what Queen means to me and how she has steadied the turbulence in my life, there was the nagging issue of regular disagreements. We hardly stayed a week without avoidable arguments. It was either her short fuse getting lost, my attention to detail pissing her, her vainness irritating me, my stance on issues annoying her or other similar or dissimilar things.
Of course, top on the list of the reasons for our issues was the very many Eves around me. She would not trust me for any reason in the world despite me taking the pain to explain what each of them represented at one time or the other. There were those I met while trying to get clients in my real estate business, there were those I met based on referrals, there were those into whose hands she drove me herself, there were those who came with the baggage from way back. She just would hear nothing of me and any other woman. How would I chase every other because of her when I had yet taken vows to that effect?
If the creator has chosen to bless me with a bevy of beauties in looks, brain, brawn and attitude, who then am I to chase them back? There were those in different zones: the shag to paddy zone, the no-strings-attached zone, the just-friends zone, the I-appreciate-our-friendship-but-will-not-hesitate-to-shag-you zone, the go-away zone and others. Queen was in a zone of her own but my baby would not just agree.
“I no wan see any of them around you. I wanna have you all to myself”, she would always say but will never stop fighting me. I have asked myself times without number why I have stayed around the good looking hot head. She would not know but she had already made me cut down on my excesses with women. I had less time for women and was already putting her on my blackberry display picture with different PMs. There was the “Queen of the manor”, there was “Empress”, there was “buttercup” and many others among the names I used as my PM while she reigned on my DP. I was getting a few jealous teases from people, especially those ‘zoned’ babes but I was proud and happy to finally flaunt one that tickled me somewhere the others had not.
She turned and I looked down at her from where my back was rested on the bed post. Slowly she opened her hazel eyes. I had never seen that female who looked as beautiful despite just waking. The creator must have spent extra time sculpting her. Physically, Queen is stunning, and I can say that again and again without any fear of contradiction.
“Whether nawetindey affect my head be that sef”, I mused as I smiled and cleared my throat – “Good morning pretty head”. She looked at me and got up and went into the bathroom without saying a word. I smiled and looked at my bedside clock as I got out of bed. Putting on my old baseball jersey, the exact one whose female version she had and wore whenever she was in my house, she came out of the bathroom and sat in front of the huge mirror I placed in that room because of her.
“Queen”, I called and she turned to face me with a “what do you want?” expression. I sighed, paused for a few minutes and spoke again.
“What exactly do you want to hear after the explanation I gave you? I told you Zee’s one of the folks I met at Sam’s wedding in PH”. She rolled her eyes and continued dabbing the cotton wool in her hand with the face cleanser.
“How did you find out there’s a Zee somewhere sef you stalking troublesome young woman?” I was losing my cool. If there was anything I hated, it was being ignored. It disgusts me to speak to someone and get no form of response. She knew it and would keep doing it if I did not rant at her.
“Dotun leave me alone”, she raised her voice and got up. I stood right in front of her and tried to hold her hand but she shook me off – “I said leave me alone you this man. Something else dey am?”
“Don’t you ever shout at me”, I spoke with annoyance. It was not the first time I was telling her to not shout at me. She maybe saw the anger in my eyes and calmed down a bit. Her petulance still got to me as she turned away, sat and was still hissing and soliloquizing.
“Shameless man. That’s why his business has been slow of recent. Imagine leaving me and going after different silly girls as if I deny him anything”
I drew her arm roughly as the annoyance in me threatened to boil over.
“My business going through a lull is none of your frigging business if you won’t support me. You stalk me and I let it slide; you insult me in public and I don’t talk; you won’t gimme the needed rest of mind and want me to be creative enough to do other things apart from business”
“Leave me Dotun. You’re hurting my arms that way o!” She was struggling to get away from my grip but I did not let go of her.
“Do you rough handle your hoes this way?”
“Queen!!! Are you mad??? Where you see hoe?”
“You left for Port Harcourt with two-seventeen BBM contacts, you returned with two-eighteen. You think I wouldn’t find out who the new one is abi? You have failed”
“You nor dey shame? You dey stalk go through my phone looking for what has changed abi. Keep looking o, you go find wetintrowey for your hand. Ode oshi”
With that I let go of her arm and left for the living room. If I did not leave that room, I cannot say what I would have done.
The day went by really fast. I did not plan leaving the house all day but the grand argument with the troublesome young woman I call my girlfriend left me seething and I knew I had to get somewhere to go if I was going to maintain my sanity. I have at many times questioned why I keep hanging on, hoping Queen will change but she has not just shown that sign at all.
After our shouting match, I had left the room to recline on the living room couch. Only a few people make me lose my cool and Queen is one of them. She however knew how to get me back in the right frame of mind. Much as I love her, I would not go ahead and marry her with this kind of attitude or troublesome nature. The next thing she did was to pick her stuff and walk out of the house without saying a word. It was mixed feelings as I saw her take a walk. Part of me wanted to go after her and talk her into reconciliation but the other part of me knew I had to let her go.
Shortly after she left, I drifted into a well needed sleep that was disturbed by my ringing phone. Seeing the number, I knew it was Sam. That was the cue for me to look at my blackberry, the one Queen always called her rival.
There were unread pings and emails, lots of them. Expecting some clients to reach out to me, I rubbed sleep off my eyes and sprang up. I needed to recoup part of the money spent at the wedding and pay some bills. Somewhere from deep down however, I wished there were messages from Queen and the one babe that was starting to fade from memory, Cynthia, the one I call Best Girl.
The trouble Queen put me through overnight and in the early part of the day was not enough for me to not want to see Best Girl again. I still wanted to see and spend some time with her. Pretty, with the kind of full smile that would drain any world class athlete of stamina. Funny thing is Queen is equally stunning, if not better looking but I do not know where the pull to the Best Girl came from.
My phone rang again and I answered without looking at the screen. The familiar way in which the person spoke and the voice sounded made me do what I should have done first, look at the caller’s name. Zee it was. I tried to be normal with her during the call but the fact that she was the reason Queen started trouble again did not just make me flow with her. She noticed this and asked what was wrong but I was just not in the mood for all the familiarizing. I just feigned sleepiness and had her end the call with a promise to call back.
I picked up my blackberry device to read through my pings, that was when I knew the cause of her call. I smiled, put down the phone and went to take a shower. I had to get out of the house and get my head into something better than matters that had to do with the opposite gender.
Days had rolled into weeks and Best Girl was forgotten. Zee however would not go without asking for a ‘proper’ meet-up in Lagos which she got effortlessly. Queen had abandoned ship and was only pinging to stay in touch. She would not answer calls or reply pings on time. It was just casual “hello, good morning” and “hope your day was fine, goodnight” messages we were exchanging. Things were breaking down really fast, cracks were evident and there were those who were very ready to take advantage of these cracks. Each time I asked to see her, she always had one excuse or the other. This made it easy for me to have time for the ‘reserves’.
I became a regular at our hangout bar. I would close work and go there straight to avoid being alone. I always abused the clan, calling them ‘sons of the bottle’ but I had to hang with them because Queen would not give me the time we used to have. She either gave the “I’m closing late” or “I have Church programme” excuse. Other times it was the “I’m not feeling good” or the “I’ll be away on official duty” excuse. I missed her a lot and reached out severally but she just did not allow.
Sam was not frequent again. Femi and the clan said it was because he was now married but I knew there were times when he was out of town chasing some business deals. Those were deals I knew a few things about, but had to be kept under wraps till it was done because within the clan, we had a few leaking mouths who talked too much in the name of bragging to their other friends to make them know they have got friends who were doing well in their businesses. Sam would call them “idiots with leaking oral cavities” when we were alone.
I arrived the bar to meet Farouk and one of his ‘other’ friends and some babes. I would ordinarily not have sat with them but for the presence of the chic. I don’t know how nature has made it so but I have met a few after Queen decided to go AWOL and saying they are equally good looking is stating the obvious.
“Whaddup guys”, I said fist bumping with Farouk and the other guy. I took the seat directly facing the babe and said a very cheery hello to female companies. She grinned in response and I joined the conversation while not leaving my phone alone.
“Phamo, I don dey grounded for Meeting Point o. Wey you”, I typed into my chat with him. Almost instantly, he replied with the driving emoji.
I looked up and added a few words to their ebola gist that was going on. Farouk in his usual manner had started saying different non-existent things and had started pissing me but I tried hard not to antagonize him without success.
“See, one has to just be hygienic. The virus isn’t infectious until the carrier is down. Best bet however is to get early testing and detection. The few who survive mostly detected early and started treatment on time. That na the wayoweydeyam”. Dude eyed me angrily but I would not let him misinform people. If he wants to die, he’s free jor.
My blackberry gave a Facebook notification and I opened it absentmindedly
“Hello Best Boy…”