Best Man Duty #8
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Tiredness washed over me immediately I returned from going to get myself a glass of water. If I would make that mistake, it definitely should not have been to Queen who at that point was like a tick infested dog that would charge at anything that got on its wrong side. The phone was blinking, and I knew it was no email or any other notification apart from something on my blackberry messenger.
“Dot you don become feeble o. Na Queen dey make you shake so? You own don be”
That was my inner man slating me big time. I took whatever he was saying to mean that I had comfortably handed over my mumu button to Queen to do with it as she pleases. Trying to prove to myself that that was not the case, I picked the phone and opened my BBM again, the two had replied.
I would normally access Queen’s message first but I was trying to show to myself that I was in charge so I went for the next one, Best Girl’s
“You really wanna see me?” I smiled after reading that message, knowing the wrong question brought an answer I was going to build on. I settled back in my chair and we continued our chat.
“Who wouldn’t wanna see the Best Girl again?”
“Some defo won’t care a bit”
“I def care to, not just to see you, but to spend quality time with you”
“Hmmmmm. What’s the definision of quality time o?”
I spotted that spelling error and was typing to correct her only for her to correct herself in the next message.
“*definition, I meant”
I smiled and made light of it
“I know u understand English so no worries. I understand typos when I see them. I was gon’ ask for your digits”
“Looooool. Dotun, you’re just a nut case. How do you understand typos?”
“Shebi na me, leave that one. Oya send me your digits”
“Well, I’ll be in Lagos for a wedding early next month. We can see then”
“Yaaaaaaaay *dancing* Imma see muh Best Gehl again”
“Abeg no allow make somebody pour acid for me o”
“Acid? Who? How?”
“If your babe catches you hanging out with me…”
“She’s not that kinda woman. She no dey jealous like you jor”
I knew I was telling Cynthia the exact opposite of who Queen was when it came to man matters, or let me refer to is as Dotun matters. If acid is within reach, I do not trust her to not use it.
We went on into the dead of the night, chatting on virtually everything. She made me remember Zee as she was up for any question, and knew the basics in different fields. She was even better versed in sports, had a liking for video games like me, read novels and loved storyline movies. I knew I had made another discovery of the kind of woman I liked being around and there was nothing to stop this alliance, not even the overbearing Queen.
As I bade Best Girl goodnight, I remembered there were a few other chats to read and respond to but it was late to engage any other person. I updated my DP to a pic Femi snapped of me at Sam’s wedding and I was going to take a last look at my twitter only for my phone to blink again. It was Queen, that was when I remembered to read her previous messages.
“So I go away for a few weeks and you have started collecting numbers and arranging meet-ups. Keep it up mr handsome, continuu. God go soon catch you”
Those were sent earlier and I had not read them. The last message she sent came with the notification of my changed display picture. She just sent a “hmmmmmm” to which I replied with the smile emoji and switched off the phone. It was not easy doing that, it never has been and I am unsure it never will be. I had by then missed Queen so much I was already used to not having her around again. Truth be told, I would have done anything to have our lovey dovey moments but as those were not available again, I had to bury myself in other things.
I wanted so badly for sleep to come but it seemed the rambling musings about Queen had taken my sleep away. It was annoying that sleep decided to conspire with Queen to trouble me by keeping me alive when I should have died temporarily to happenings around. I decided to make the most of it by getting up and drafting a document that had a sort of semi proposal relating to the meeting I had with a client the next morning. That done in surprisingly record time, I lay on the bed again and started scrolling through my twitter timeline while hoping I would land in dreamland. From twitter, I got stalking Cynthia and Queen on Facebook and Instagram. I was grinning to myself with each of Cynthia’s picture that I saw. I knew I should drop the phone since it was not bringing sleep but I kept at it moving from Twitter and Instagram to Facebook and back, then my eye caught Queen’s last post. My heart skipped a bit at that instant.
Before I woke up my Blackberry was blinking like it always did. The alarm had sounded and I did not even hear at all, talk of me being the modern day Jonah. There were normally a few e-mails to attend to as well as some news and devotionals from BBM channels which I read before getting out of bed.
I was expecting Sam’s message and a message from the client with whom I had an early meeting. The interesting finish to yesterday rang in my mind briefly and Queen strayed into my thoughts as had become regular. I looked at her side of the bed where my blackberry lay and I shook my head. I was hurting but I was not ready to let her win this. For all I cared, it could lead anywhere. There were options I kept at bay because of her and it would only be a matter of promoting one of them. The reality of that would hurt me real bad though. Me and my unnecessary shakara, Queen and her needless trouble; a match that was just indescribable. Even with our many disagreements, one would not leave the other.
Despite all the messages I was expecting which I thought had landed on my phone waiting for my attention, Cynthia’s “Good morning Best Boy” was the only message that was making the device blink. I smiled the sleep that was in my eyes away as I picked up the device to respond to the message.
“You’re obviously not the only one who’s attracted dude”, my subconscious said to me winking.
“You be mumu aswear dannn”, I replied him, smiling like the mumu team me and my subconscious are.
I replied with the smile emoji and then added “Good morning prettyhead”. I cannot say but it looks as though Cynthia’s device was a part of her body, same way mine was because the message hardly dropped before she replied.
I did not bother to look at the time, I just chatted away the early morning, like I did the previous night. I knew it was not the right thing to do at that time but I was not ready to be right. We just got into the flow from where we stopped the previous evening. Life would not have been better at that time because I forgot every other thing at that time, and I lived in the fantasy world of the Best Boy and his Best Girl. I admitted to myself at that point in time that it had been a while someone struck what Cynthia struck in me.
I forgot breakfast, did not remember to clean out my flat, did not go over my proposal and did not even remember I had issues with Queen. The other chats and messages started coming as expected but I did not give them any attention, especially when Best Girl took a dig at me for being flirty with my charming words. She was saying everything Queen would never say, everything that got me feeling really good about myself.
“What’s for today Best Boy?”
“A lot and nothing Best Girl. A lot of chats with you, a meeting with my client, chat with the Best Girl, office, chat with the Best Girl…and hangout with the boys in the evening while I still chat with the Best Girl”
“Wow, whoever that Best Girl is must be very lucky to have the attention of the handsome looking Dot”
“Who else would that be if not the pretty one reading this on whom the creator spent extra time, chiseling and moulding”
“Haba!!! Dotun easy now”
“Leave story. Don’t try that modesty thing with me”
“Ok o, I hear you. What’s with the client you wanna see? Ok, lemme ask, what do you do?”
“Hmmmmm, I do a bit of everything except crime o. You’re big enough to employ me”
“You’re a clown Dot. A very big 1 at that”
“For you Cynth, I would be everything”
“I’ve stalked you so much I have no need to ask you what you do knowing you are a lab scientist”
“Hmmmmm. I see you have been liking my pictures on social media”
“Which is no crime”
“Its sure not. Sha don’t let your babe come after me. Me no wan wahala o”
“She won’t o Best Girl. You’re absolutely safe”
“Issorait o. I need to handover to the next shift Dot. All the best in your meeting with your client o, I know you tactfully dodged my question about what you do”
“Be a sleuth for once Cynth, find that out yourself *winks*
“I def will. Have a profitable day sir. I am here praying that your meeting with the client will end in your favour”
“Awwww, u r such a darlin. God bless you muchly”
“If I don’t pray for my Best Boy who will I pray for :D”
I switched to my client’s chat and the first line I read threw me out of bed, the meeting was for ten in the morning and I was still in bed minutes past eight.
Meeting with my client went very well, the deal was to be closed within the next forty eight hours. I was walking with a spring in my step. The day was tailor made for me, like everything just worked in my favour. I remembered what I read in The Bible one of the days back in university. Those were times when I loved reading Psalms, Proverbs and the Songs of Solomon. I loved the story of David’s conquests, Joseph’s triumph and others in the Old Testament but that New Testament get as e be. I never even got near Revelation, it always made me want to pee in my pants. Let us leave The Bible first, let me nack you beta tori.
In the evening, I drove straight to the Meeting Point as had now become regular. The Clan was there already, regaling one another of happenings during the working part of the day. My friends noticed the giddiness and took digs at me but that was the least of my concerns. I was happy, very happy.
It only got better when my Blackberry phone blinked. An e-mail I had been expecting for months just dropped and had the exact news I was waiting for concerning my partnership with Sam. I quietly got up and told The Clan I needed to use the gents.
“Samo, I just forwarded you an email now”, I said, keeping my voice as low as possible. He asked to check his inbox and revert. Knowing he would not take time to return my call, I stayed put where I was. The call came through and he was all shades of excited.
“Dot, Jah has blessed the hustle man. We don hammer big time”. He could barely keep his voice low. I made a mental picture of how the Sam I knew would be comporting unsuccessfully himself wherever he was at the moment and I smiled.
“Where are you?”, he asked, bringing me back to the conversation after our short seconds of silence. He did not wait for me to answer, “I’ll meet you at the Meeting Point soon. Let’s do some crazy celebrating”. I grinned and ended the call.
Unread pings and whatsapp messages called for my attention. I of course knew it was Cynthia, my Best Girl. I had not buzzed her since our chat earlier that morning because I made sure not to turn myself into a ‘wuss’, like I called folks who easily made others get tired of them and start giving them needless attitude.
She wanted to know how my meeting with the client went; such a sweet pretty thing. The moment I knew she was the one, we carried on chatting. I forgot about The Clan immediately as I strolled towards my car, knowing Sam would soon be around and would need to discuss with me before any other thing.
As I made to rest on the car, I saw her pass. If I would not recognize anyone with my eyes blindfolded, it would never be Queen. I stood there transfixed, watching as she walked up to a group of five: three males and two females, beside a SUV. I wanted to see which of the three guys she was going to really be with. The three of them looked like the bad guys in Superted.
Now I have no issues with Queen jumping ship but it should be to a better person for Chrissake, not leave me for a junk looking dude, phew!
I started towards the point where she was standing with her crew of ruffians only to sight Sam drive into the Meeting Point. I waited for him to park and alight. Before he could say anything, I pointed in Queen’s direction. “Queen?”, he said and I nodded.
It was at that moment that her Facebook status update of the previous night made sense to me
“No real woman wants to be with a man who won’t let other women know he’s taken. Game on, let’s do this!!!”