Aunty, Why Is The Box Not Tight?

Today, I want to talk about vaginas, about how tight or loose they can be. If you’re a guy, please hang around. You might learn a thing or two, because what prompted this article was a discussion I had with an ill-informed friend. It was a hot argument in which he held that a woman having too much sex or many sexual partners causes her vagina walls to be loose.

I begged to differ, but brother said he was talking from experience. And that is why he doesn’t make love to his wife always.

*rolling my eyes.

How then does he handle his randiness? Brother is yet to answer me. I am waiting for his answer.

Interestingly, he is not part of a minority when it comes to his view. That was how one uncle on Twitter referred to the vagina as a fan belt. Forget the backlash he got. He will not try himself again. But all the same, a lot of people (men, especially) hold that women who have slept with many partners have loose vaginas and that virgins, naturally, are tight.

Well, I hate to burst your bubble, if you’re part of that school of thought. It is not true. That’s an old myth.

First, it should be noted that vaginas, like penises, come in different shapes, sizes and elasticities (if there’s such a word).  The vaginal musculature is elastic, and this means it contracts naturally and resumes its normal size and shape after sexual intercourse and childbirth – with exceptions, which are multiple childbirths and age.

Men also, should note that they have a hand in how tight or how loose a vagina can be during sex. Foreplay is very important.

“During arousal the vagina expands in anticipation of being penetrated,” explains Dr. Cadell of founder of “Then the vagina tightens around the penis to give both the man and woman more sexual satisfaction.”

Hence, if a woman is too tight during intercourse, it could be that she is not fully aroused. And if she is not aroused, sex may become painful. In the same way, she might be fully aroused and the walls then stretch out to accommodate the man. This does not mean she is loose. She is simply lubricated enough for sex. So, uncle, you should feel flattered that she’s super wet for you.
But a lot of men do not understand this. I have read stories online of wives coming to public forums to seek help over the issue of being too ‘wet’ or too ‘wide’ for their husbands.
“Oga says I’m wet anyhow. He’s not enjoying it. Can you tell me any products I can use to make me tight and dry?’
And people start to give advice:
“Use alum”
“Use key soap”
And a bunch of other scary stuff. One woman even lamented that her husband forces his way in just so that he can feel that tightness, ignoring the injuries he causes her.

Yes, having a big man or being used to having big men on a constant can become an issue when a woman eventually has sex with someone who is less endowed. However, if she continues with him, her walls will shrink back to fit him. But this doesn’t entirely mean that he cannot enjoy sex with her. If he tries a different position he will ‘feel’ her. So a point to note is that a man might be too thin for a woman.

Another important thing to consider is how a woman controls her vaginal walls. Aunty, you cannot be having sex with your man and just open your legs like that without helping. Think of your vagina as a hand, giving the penis a handjob. Always squeeze when it goes in. This increases sexual pleasure for your man and for you. And with time, it makes you tighter. You will get to a point that you can even get him to come by just one squeeze. How do you achieve this? Kegel exercises. They’re simple to do and no one will know what’s going on when you do them.

Here’s how you train – when you go for a pee, stop it midstream and hold as much as you can. That manner in which you stopped it is the manner in which you should do your Kegels. It’s the same muscles you’re exercising. Squeeze and hold. Do it anywhere, at any time. As you grow older, your walls would begin to lose their elasticity. Kegels during your younger years can ensure that you stay in pristine shape.

“With aging, as estrogen levels diminish, the vaginal walls become thinner and less elastic, so the muscles begin to lose their tautness,” Dr. Cadell said. “Kegel exercises can always help tone and tighten the vagina, so it’s never too late. They also help to prevent urinary incontinence, can enhance orgasmic awareness, and even help a woman to ejaculate.”

There are other natural ways to tighten your vagina and you can read them in this article I wrote HERE. But please, do not put alum down there.

Also, Ben Wa balls can help. I mentioned them in the last episode of It’s Another Novocaine Saturday. If you just had a baby and you feel you need your elasticity back, please click on this link to buy yours.

Sexual positions that can help increase tightness for vaginal walls involve the woman having her legs clamped together. The best of this is having her lying face down with her legs closed. It should guarantee tightness.

I think I’ll stop here, having let out what is on my mind this Tuesday afternoon. Sex is not my area of expertise but I just felt I needed to school some people on the elasticity of the vagina having noticed that there is huge ignorance on the topic.
I hope this helps a couple out there and boosts someone’s ego about how her box feels.
Facebook Comments


  1. @Oge_writes

    So I saw the title as the notification dropped in my mail and for some inexplicable reason, I burst out laughing.
    Or maybe it’s coz I’m wondering who you’re about to tackle this fine afternoon.
    Let me now go and read.

    • Hello @ madam oge just reading writeup but am unable the finishing. Damage control 8

  2. Alot of men carry alot of ideas in error about a woman’s anatomy

  3. Didn’t know that the post wasn’t for virgins like me. What do I do? I’ve read it now. *wails in lost virginity*

  4. I wanted to go read it up too, I forgot, Sally thanks for the wonderful write up.

  5. Like you said sally “uninformed men” are the ones who usually complain. Now such men are very unfaithful, I have a friend who complained about similar issues. Men are forever looking for excuses to cheat. Thank you Sally

  6. loooooooooooooooool… i was just wondering that han han…sally our sex doctor again?… as for that uninformed bro, he shouldnt try some of us who have dropped ooooo….ok, am outta here.

  7. Me, I simply love new knowledge. I’ve known this today. I’ve had experienced dudes say same thing: That it’s so much use that gets it too wide. Now I know they are uninformed.


  8. Sally I miss you writing about totally random things. A little bird told me that you quit your job. Looks like you have time for us now.
    This topic brought argument in my office just recently. It will surprise you that even women hold to that thinking that too much sex makes a vaginal slack. Lol. Me I was just observing ni
    Thanks for this

  9. First Timer

    I just got schooled! But seriously you can’t be serious about this. Surely prostitutes have slacker vaginas Sally. Argue with your laptop

    • Bro are you sure? ??? I don’t think so

  10. Adeola gem

    Hehehehe! Our own love doctor Ms Sally. Pls tell ’em o. Thanks for sharing this.

  11. Ifeanyi Onochie

    “Always squeeze when he goes in.” I have to teach her that. Oshey!

  12. why are some people surprised that Sally is tutoring about sex? Read her stories well. she’s not a novice.
    sally, i dey hail o!

  13. ebunoluwa

    lolz!!! and Sally jus had to come and do this now!? abeg no mind people o. their wahala too much jare. wetin b d meaning of that ideology abeg? mtchewww! abeg jor. dis matter reminds of my second delivery experience, d gynaecologist had to ask me what happened down there. he said madam I see that you had an episiotomy during ur previous delivery n i said yes it was my first child. e com ask me say then y is this place so tight like nothing had passed thru b4? I look d man,look my oga, I jus shouted Dr abeg do what u have to do n let dis baby come out now!!! everybody jus started laffing. d may say are u giving me permission to cut u again cos it looks like you are beginning to tear. I say oga if u no fit cut am abeg give me make i cut am by myself. lolz!!! it actually sounded funny now but n cry I dey cry dat day. now I dey fear say dis wan wey I dey ginger 4 number 3, d story don dey look like say e go b d same as even oga sef dey complain during shagging say d place no dey gree person enter. some women are jus blessed to have it snap back as quickly as possible irrespective of what happens but then all fingers are not equal. I don’t know y a man will blame u for something that wasn’t caused by u. it’s jus like blaming a person for aging. u can only delay and try to rework somethings but u can not stop nature. women sef dey suffer no b small. if e dey find tight hole make d woman go buy female condom na. wen d thing arrest his john Thomas e go see himself for emergency room. yeye talk. but thanks for schooling d ignoramus dem jare. btw, I don read d fourth finger finish n as usual, u are bae. thanks Sally.

  14. Hahahaha… And Sally nails it. Yesterday i read about a husband that stuffs his wife’s vagina with tissue paper so it can be “tight” enough for him. The wife says she doesn’t like it and is afraid for health reasons but can’t bring herself to tell her husband, hence she was looking for an alternative method to tighten her box. Trust Nigerians to offer their version of advice, I laughed in Mandarin after reading it ???
    This is a topic a lot of men and women are ignorant about, a lot of marriages are on the rocks because of too and soooo many women put themselves in harm’s way in the name of tightening their vaginas. Oh and when i try telling some of them the correct thing, they also end up pulling the experience card. The fact that vaginas come in different shapes and sizes is a yimu sumtin to these people. Thanks for this post though, I’ll do well to share.

  15. Thanks Sally for this post.. Learnt alot, always wondered about a vagina being lose, I also have heard of the kegel exercise but never knew how it was done.

    Guess we need a lot more exposition on this topic”vagina” so people can be better educated.
    Thanks again Sally, using your platform to make a difference.

  16. And I learned loads of stuffs here
    Thumbs up Anty Sally

    PS- can I get your email pleaseeee

  17. Simple question…if women get widened by childbirth (you’d have to be a tree to argue that) then why can’t regular insertion through intercourse do same?

    Not disputing the author’s view though; just trying to give the path of discussion a new twist.

      • If you understood my comment perfectly Rida, you’d know it wasn’t directed at the article. So I would like to hear your view on the question I asked, after all. If you don’t mind, of course.

  18. ebunoluwa

    lolz!!! Oga Dan Chucks have u seen a live birthing process b4? okay u never see am, no wonder. let me do some explanation. first d positioning is one of d reasons y it’s possible for d baby to come out, wen u lay back at angle 90 with both kneels drawn up to almost chest level not minding ur protruding tummy o plus u’re pushing like person wey wan shit strong shit. oga, sometimes our tight box dey tear like wen person wrapper tear. some of us sef, d Dr need to use their surgical blade to cut d skin btw d tight box and d anus (perennial) n dis cutting includes inside out o wey b say wen it’s healed n u finger such a woman u go feel d scar inside her. oya tell me if to say e no dey contrast back no b leg or head una for dey put inside afterwards? everybody get different genes and d same thing wey make some women still get flat tummy after having 5kids naim make some women too get big tummy after having jus 1 kid. some of this things na gene but u can only do small small tins to put am in order. meanwhile, any man wey dey complain oya make e carry him woman go Las Vegas go do vaginal reconstruction surgery to tighten am back. Infact if u want make ur wife b virgin again after 10 children dem go do am for u. na ur money kill am. but if u no fit do dat one, dis case is dismissed. I rise! court!!!?

    • Perfect explantion Ebunoluwa. However, you only answered the question like you are the one who asked it. The ‘box’ gets stretched…according to both of us. (When the Docs don’t resort to severing the skin between the anus and the vagina). Or isn’t that what you are saying?

  19. ebunoluwa

    Oga Chuck we are almost on d same page but then again d logic behind it is that, d penis cannot put d vagina tru as much pressure as childbirth can. no matter how endowed a man is, he can’t be as big as a whole new born that has hands, legs, butt, head, shoulder etc. besides once d head is out, d baby turns n comes out with the shoulder. so u can see that even d stretching after d head is out is an up and down thing unlike d penis. so d argument that too much shagging widens d vagina wall doesn’t hold water jare. if a baby coming from d inside out cannot fully destroy d elasticity of dat power house then an inward n outward thrust of a man’s tool cannot destroy it. d reason y most of us wait atleast until our 6weeks postnatal appointment b4 shagging resumes is to give everything time to heal n restore a couple of things to their almost original state. a woman’s body is a masterpiece jor so no worry urself. Oga make i go back to sleep.

    • Your use of childbirthing as a yardstick for our analysis, while not out of place, I find it a bit stretchy. It’s just like trying to use Nigeria to explain why UK is corrupt. There is corruption amongst the ranks of both countries, but Nigeria is just too notorious with it to want to use them for explaining the other. Thus, childbirth is rather an exageration on our arguement. As a dude, I know what goes on when a vargin suddenly begins to shagg! I know what guys feel few months or so into continous sex with said vargin. The feelings at both ends of the spectrum ain’t the same. Now, did his preeq make her as wide as a birthing child would? Not at all. But did his preeq increase the access width of her box a bit? Most certainly! Mind you, the best way to know if your woman has been letting things get inbetween her legs since you travelled out (for months), is to penetrate her yourself. If she hasn’t, penetration seem a little bit tasking, no matter how wet… All these I’ve said are clearly practical, and not reliant on some medical knowledge or something. But I haven’t exactly disputted your own facts, moreover.

  20. ebunoluwa

    hahahahahahaha!!! dis guy man tag kill pesin wit laff o. okay so wen d guy travel 4 awhile I hope say him too go wear iron under pant so dat him sef no go shrink by d time wen him com back? I understand ur point well well o. but I com still dey wonder, I’ve been married 4 almost 7 yrs n i didn’t marry as a virgin. had 2 kids already n currently 14weeks preggers, me n oga dey shag well well o n d man still dey complain,dat means say i get bolts n screw wey I dey use tighten am abi? u have a point by saying abstinence for awhile can slightly reduce d space but again we’re not all d same. ur virgin analysis is based on d fact dat she’s shagging d guy dat broke her seal alone o but if she shags someone else who’s not as endowed as d guy dat broke d seal how do u thing d place go be? oya practical examples, I wear a size 10Lycra dress always n my friend who’s a size 8 wears it bcos she say na Lycra n e get capacity to contrast. u no think say she go still find d clothe lose for her body? now turn d matter around n another of my friend wey b size 14 com wear dat same clothe n returned it, u no think say d clothe go tight 4 body? dat is not to say dat even me wey get d clothe no fit wear am back o bcos it can never b as lose as if say i go borrow am. but d way una dey talk abt dis thing sef, oya we no dey gree una 2 do again. efrybody zip up until marriage, wen u reach house make u ask 4 refund from ya in-laws bcos u no like as d place b. na so some women go dey argue say a man who used to go 3 rounds of 50 minutes each b4 is no longer into u wen he begin to cum early n can’t go more dan 2 rounds. abeg if d man dey experience mid life crisis nko, abi he’s been off shagging 4 long dat d over excitement jus dey knock am off even at foreplay stage? oya bye bye. I don give u final solution to dis matter, if u feel say she too lose carry am go Las Vegas go reconstruct. hihihihihi! or zip up both of u for 2mnths n let it re-adjust.

    • Lmao…I like how you talk really, and that’s why I’m still on this. But here, looking at you ‘re-emphasizing’ my point but in a different way:

      “ur virgin analysis is based on d fact dat she’s shagging d guy dat broke her seal alone o but if she shags someone else who’s not as endowed as d guy dat broke d seal how do u think d place go be?”

      What will make the place look different when a less endowed guy tries it out? Expansion, even if slight. No? Unless you are telling me that there are guys sooooo small, that their pecker can get into a virgin’s box without her feeling anything. Which we both know is untrue.

      The ugly truth is, ladies generally refuse to admit/accept that the vagina has muscles and just like everyother muscle on the body, responds to continous strain. Of course, our bodies are different, and can respond to these strains diferently. But to outrighly say the vagina cannnot expand (even if slightly) as a result of insertions, is doing your hardest to refuse fact. There are gaped vaginas, and there are very tight ones. The difference here (especially when childbirth isn’t involved) is simply the body type, and insertions. You are one lucky woman to be as ***** as you cliam to be. But don’t assume everyone is as fortunate as yourself.

      I’ve loved every bit of this one, mind you. And I also did learn a thing or two.

      • Sally

        Hi Dan Chucks,
        Thanks for dropping by and thanks for your contribution. But as someone said above, please read the post. Your argument does not counter what I wrote, hence I find it funny that you’re even towing the line of argument.
        This statement: “But to outrightly say the vagina cannnot expand (even if slightly) as a result of insertions, is doing your hardest to refuse fact. There are gaped vaginas, and there are very tight ones. The difference here (especially when childbirth isn’t involved) is simply the body type, and insertions.”… Neither I nor Ebunoluwa said this, so I don’t know where it’s coming from.
        Again, read the post to confirm. And to say you want to deviate from what I wrote and you’re still towing that line is kind of funny to me, being that your first comment here is about what I have written. I’d be very glad to have you do a piece contradicting all I I stated. It would be an honor being that you seem to know a lot about vaginae and penii, owing to the genre in which you write.
        So, please kindly challenge me out of the comment box and I will gladly put your post up and the house will have a full discussion.
        Thank you.

  21. ebunoluwa

    glad we finally reached a conclusion b4 madam Sally go charge us for hijacking her post. it was nice brainstorming with u too. have a fabulous day. ciao!!!

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