Catch up on Best Man Duty here
Going back to The Meeting Point was not the best thing to do. Going home would get me into another round of thoughts. I was at that time driving past an area that held loads of memory for me. There was the case of Deleâs residence that used to be the slaughter slab for all of The Clanâs p-setting. Coded babes found themselves gracing the Maracana Stadium in the big headâs bedroom.
Dele is that member of The Clan whose womanizing is legendary. He had different âno strings attachedâ and recruited more without fear. Undergrads, graduates, single mothers, desperate babes and all. He even had a police officer that I always called âPolice girlâ. There was the nurse, the bank worker, the lawyer and the civil servant. We would shout on him and call him names but he would say âwhat makes yâall better than meâ in his croaky voice. He had a very unsexy voice but his good looks and charm always won the women over. How he did it remains a mystery.
âDude, you go shag winsh one day aswearâ, Sam once told him. He looked at Sam like someone whose speech was slurred from too many drinks then he burst into a loud uncontrollable laughter that drew the attention of people on other tables at The Meeting Point. The Philanderer, as Mike called him then answered by doing a cacophonic presentation of âAll things bright and beautifulâ, one of the hymns we sang in primary school. Do you remember that hymn in your S.O.P?
I impulsively turned into his street, passed his house and drove down to the end of the street, a close actually. I picked up my Blackberry and punched in âIâm at your gateâ. A few minutes later, she came out of the building in whose front I parked. All smiles and giggles, and modestly dressed like her normal self, she entered the passengerâs side of the front door.
I expected a peck but she went for the big one. Throwing her hands on my neck, she hugged me close and kissed me very smoothly, not minding that there was the possibility of being seen by the security guard in her house and the adjacent one. After a few minutes of her lips doing wonders on mine, I broke the kiss to take some air.
Taiwo is another perfect kisser with whom I am blessed, okay let us re-phrase the sentence; âTaiwo is another perfect kisser with whom I was blessedâ. Key word âwasâ. We never dated but a few things happened, and could still happen anytime either of us wanted.
âYou didnât say you were gonâ come around here todayâ, she started, seeing as I had withdrawn from the kissing posture. âI was expecting you for Sunday afternoonâ.
âI wanted to surprise you ni Ejireâ
âWho are you surprising? Is it not that you came to see that shameless Dele that wonât move out of his fatherâs house or your paroles changes. You have something else for Sunday ni jor. I Â know you too well Dotâ
âShey na me you wan yab, abi na Dele?â
âHave I not told you not to even call me Ejire again?â
âOya mabinu arewaâ
âDot has sha become razz. Whatâs all these Ejire and Aresa or whatever youâre calling me nah?â
âYou dunno beta thing. Even the non-Yoruba likes all the affectionate terms that put you offâ
âLemme abeg. We know your non-Yorubas, just spare me that jere. Where are we headed?â
She knew where we were headed but was trying to be her normal, lie-living person, and I neatly played along.
âWeâre headed to the head officeâ, I replied and winked. She knew what the emphasis on the word âheadâ meant.
She hit my shoulder playfully and I started the vehicle and moved. I had to drive at a slightly higher speed so no one in Deleâs house would see me and tell the dumb head. I knew he was not home but I had bragged not to come see this Taiwo babe again. The prevailing situation however meant I had to.
As I made to link the expressway and make my way to my apartment, Taiwoâs âheadofficeâ, my phone gave a text message notification. I picked it up to read immediately I saw who the sender was.
âI might have pushed you hard or frustrated you. It was not intentional Dotun. Plans changed for tomorrow. Momma wants me home for the wknd so Iâll come ova tonyt instead. 1-4-3-10â
I shrugged, smiled and sent a quick reply to her knowing how much of a show spoiler she could choose to be. The witch in her always found a way in whenever I was setting another parole. How that always happens remains mysterious.
âNot home yet. Went lounging with some other friends. Iâll pick you up at 9. 1-4-3-10â
You might be wondering what the coded numbers 1-4-3-10 stand for. Each means the number of letters that make up the words âI love you sweetheartâ. âIâ is a one letter word, âloveâ is a four letter word and that is how the rest goes. That is how creative Queen can be when she gets her act together and is not fighting me.
âWho was that?â. I did not bother to answer her because I knew I had to be quick with her and leave no traces of her visit.
While I was thinking of how wriggle out of the Taiwo issue, the tone of Queenâs message struck me. She would never directly apologize or say anything close to sorry. She just always continued from where things were before we had issues, preferring to sweep matters we should close under the carpet. That had been something gnawing on my mind. Why would someone refuse to apologize despite being at fault? Ego or what?
âDrive Dot. Set this p fast, tidy up and then come back musingâ
I obeyed, looked into Taiwoâs eyes seductively and joined the semi busy road as she giggled again, one I was sure was in anticipation of what lay ahead for the evening.
******************************************
Spotting a white agbada with my short-sleeved buba underneath, my facial hair was well trimmed. My dressing and grooming were top notch, even for me. My fetish for wristwatches made me have five classy ones, each of which had cost me a fortune on purchase. I decided on the one I bought after Samâs wedding, knowing Cynthia would not have noticed it on my hand. I knew I had to make a statement with my appearance and I spared nothing to make that happen.
âDressed for the killâ, Femi said with a wink as he entered my apartment. âSee fine boy of life. Youâre sure some others wonât kidnap you before Best Girl sees you?â
He knew how to appeal to my vanities and wasted no time in getting that done always. He complemented everything from my hair cream to my perfume. I knew the big head was flattering me but I was lapping up the adulation, reveling in the sycophancy of my dear Femi. He would not tell me an absolute lie to make me feel good but he always was going to massage my ego. What I liked however was that he also knew how to call my bluff without taking prisoners.
Femi was dressed in his best tux, one he saved for special occasions. All my pleas that he should go the native way fell on deaf ears. The dumb head would never allow himself to be cowed into submission anytime; he always does his things his own way.
âNearly everyone at the wedding would be dressed in native so why should I do the sameâ, he said when I queried his dressing. That singular action of mine even earned me a backlash from the smelly mouthed best friend of mine. He went as far as calling me overdressed telling me he wished rain would fall and mess up my well starched clothes. My friend is a non-conformist so I was not ready to try drag anything with him. I just made sure he dressed well, and was as striking as I was.
It was impossible for me to see Cynthia again on the day she flew into town because she was busy doing an all-girls evening with her friends. I was however going to make the most of the time we were going to have. Beyond all the flirting on chat, we would sit and look into each otherâs eyes, and talk. The reality of that happening was very tantalizing.
Picking up my phone when it was time to set out, I dialed and she answered on the first ring. She was sounding very excited. We bantered a bit after exchanging pleasantries. The hymn that was being sung was all I needed to know that service was still in progress.
âIâll soon be on my way to the reception venue. I have company oâ
âYouâre typically Nigerian Dotun. You got an invite to an event and youâre bringing an attachmentâ
âIts not like that jor. You want me to come and start looking around bored ehn?
âSo whatâs it like? I hope âtis your babe youâre coming withâ
âYouâre not just pretty Cynth, youâre funny as wellâ
âAdonno what youâre talking about. Iâm just expecting you and your babeâ
The call was ended from her end and we got on the way immediately, factoring the insane Lagos traffic into our movement. That proved decisive as the minor delay we had was of no consequential effect. We still got to the reception venue before the couple and their train.
After securing the car, we started towards the main hall where the reception was to hold. First thing that caught me by surprise however was the thorough frisking of guests by the security guys at the door. I did not envisage that happening at all. Femi just stood by as the security guy carried out his duty on me, and his mate on a good looking young woman beside me. Femi made a comment about me being a terrorist that hid his weapon inside his agbada. Those around responded by either smiling or grinning, a few who I am sure have been starved of funny talk burst into laughter.
Entry secure, I notified her of our arrival and told her where we were seated. Just as desired, we got different glances in our direction by the array of beautiful ladies in the hall. Much as I like being around Femi, he never stopped being an embarrassment whenever he found himself in the midst of pretty women. I could look around with lust written all over me but Femi stared always in a way that made him look as if his eyeballs would pop out. I always found that repulsive. He was already shifting in his seat and tapping me to look at that âukwuâ or âsee those bad hipsâ.
âDude, this babe is well roundedâ, he said, cocking his head at another that passed in front of the table where we sat. I rebuked him at that point, telling him to look beyond his irresponsible staring and see the point that he was attractive himself with many of people giving us admiring glances.
âI wonder how you stay calm in these situations man. No dey bring me come this kind tempting place next time oâ
That coincided with a beep on my phone. I looked and read the message. âSheâs here. Letâs meet her outsideâ.
As I stepped out of the beautifully decorated hall, my eyes met hers at the side reserved for pictures. I swallowed and bit my lower lips.
âBoy this babe is cleeeeeeeean. Chai, see finenessâ
She looked much more beautiful than the Best Girl in every way. She was a feet and more inches taller, accentuated her cream lace material with a red purse and neck beads that had a mixture of red and gold colours. Her headgear and ipele completed the touch of red on gold that seemed to be what the brideâs friends were all wearing. Coincidentally, I was wearing a red fila, the one from the last wedding I attended.
She looked like the well sculpted handiwork of the creator that she is. While the other had their make-up in excessively annoying quantities that made them look more barbie than human, the only thing I saw on her face was a light rub of powder. Her full lips had a modest application of red lipstick and an equally little application of lip gloss.
âThe exact one you would crossover to kiss shey?â
I just stood there swimming in the stand-out beauty of the out-of-this-world stunning daughter of Eve whose eyes locked with mine. She was smiling, right at me. Truth be told, I did not know whether I was still standing on the ground, floating in air or sinking in her gaze. I forgot there was a Femi with me or a Queen that would have hit me back to reality if she were to be there. The different voices around me seemed to dissolve into pin drop silence.
Even my subconscious got in on the act. He did a Jim Carrey at that point and I was grinning at him. That guy in me had his eye pop out of their sockets for real and removed his lower jaw to roll out his tongue towards the pretty lady in a red carpet reception. While he was doing his somersaults and doffing his hat for the pretty one, I stood in one corner smiling and applauding him for the stunts.
Femiâs nudge and voice brought me back from the trance. âIs this not Best Girl? Damn, that babe is hawt!!!â
The only female to make me lose composure in a long time was standing a few metres away from me, smiling, and draining all common sense and energy from the fragile skeleton holding my body and housing my mind. I was beyond speechless; I was more of a muted man within that short period of time: seconds or minutes or whatever you choose to call it.
âJesus, this is breathtaking. This is beyond normal. This is not a human beingâ
I was soliloquizing and the equally dumbstruck Femi was answering me as if I was talking to him.
âDidnât know sheâs this beautiful. Dear Lord Jesus, son of the living Godâ.
Then as if remote-controlled, she mouthed the word âDotâ and I smiled. She then started towards where I was standing, and I also started walking in her direction.
âWhat this chic does to you is out of this world man. See as your mouth dry Dotun. You don enter your ownâ
I did not answer the man in me. I just continued taking the steps towards Cynthia. Before I knew it, we were in front of one another and she had flown into my hands.
âIâm so thrilled to see you Dot. Wow, just wowâ
We were the cynosure of all eyes at that point in time. Life would not get better. Time did me a favour and stopped running at that time. Femi was beside himself, smiling, grinning and just had this look of amusement on his face. So were the other aso ebi ladies. All eyes were on the two of us as we lingered in each otherâs arms.
âPretty Cynthia, we meet againâ, I managed to say after disentangling from one anotherâs grip.
âHandsome Dot we do meet again, and you look as good as you did the last time I saw you. I saw you when someone asked me to look at those two cute, well dressed guysâ
âForgerrit Best Girl, you look heavenly. I was almost asking if it was you. You look absolutely different. The exact thing I told you I wanted to seeâ
Everything had returned to normal. I remembered Femi at that instant.
âHereâs Femi. You remember seeing him at Samâs wedding?â
âHi Femiâ. She flashed her million watt, full toothed smile and shook Femiâs hand lightly. The mumu boy just stood there smiling like a puppy that was dashed a bone he could not break.
âYou guys have a very good dress sense. Iâm proud to have you as guests hereâ
âThanks Best Girlâ, Femi responded and beamed.
âYou know if Femi can act this civil and classy always, heâll always get game. Or wetin you think?â
âSharap jor. Donât come talking now. When Iâm done here, weâll have our timeâ
âCynthiaâs the name Femi, Best Girl is for the Best Boyâ. We all laughed mildly.
âLetâs get a seat guys, I should dance in with the couple and join you in a few minutesâ
She got a seat in a different place, a better place from where we were initially seated. That place looked like a fertile land in comparison to where we sat initially.
âThanks for letting me do my Saturday here. I take back the earlier words I saidâ. I just smiled and twitched my nose.
âYimu for you Famo. Drink in the sight of having many pretty ones around you manâ. I was feeling like the boss.
âOlâboy forget am. Its not about the women alone. This na wetin dem dey call party. Meanwhile, Queen gat work to do o, see as that Cynthia babe dey look like say she wan carry you go keep permanently. Like say you be trophyâ
âTrophy ko, Satzenbrau ni. Whatever it is, donât let your mouth bring Queen up in our gists here o. Make she dey enjoy her Mama sideâ. The big head just hit me playfully, with his âashewo oshiâ remark following.
âI canât be by myself Dot. I gotta stay around so you donât talk too much. Meanwhile, lemme go look around for my own chicalas. This na beta weekend wallahiâ
âYou no well. Sha no do any weyreyâ
Femi brought me back from that short convo, he started talking about football. I needed that distraction to keep my subconscious quiet while waiting for the Best Girlâs imminent return.
What an interesting episode… femi and Dot no well ??
“The mumu boy just stood there smiling like a puppy that was dashed a bone he could not break” ?????my favourite part
Well done seye ??
Lol…best girl have carry best boy and go o…chai…Queen shud please dump Dot,.his own womanizing too much abeg .so he got away with taking Taiwo home for a quick one..
This one had me grinning to the very end.. abeg didn’t want it to end at all at all…Chai.., e sweet
femi the perfect wingman, love this episode
I just love friendship between guys sha…
Seye you just made my headache go away.. thank you for this episode.
Pleas give Queen a career to focus on and Sweet boyfriend…
Let Queen tell us Dotun Bad habits too.
Not every time bad things about Queen
This episode is “Wooow”
Femi mumu don turn mumuish, Ă ½ĂÂąÂĂ ½ĂÂąÂ
Well done seye……i totally enjoyed it
Hahaha! Imagine if queen just showed up at this weeding now? Dot you better watch it oooo
I’m not liking this best boy at all. I like Cynthia sha!
This Dotun guy sha, I feel like he doesn’t deserve Queen. And Cynthia, forming good girl, flirting with best boy and giving him all the green light when she knows Dot has a gf. Them dey vex me eh.
Thanks for the episode, Seye. ?
Finally, Dotun meets Best Girl again. I know there’s drama coming. But let Dotun and Cynthia enjoy their time together first. Good episode!