Fish Brain Clan

Fish Brain Clan (4) Amaka

AMAKA Girls have the habit of burning their ex-boyfriends’ stuff when they know the relationship is really over and there’s no hope of a reunion. As for me, I didn’t go through that stage of hatred for all things James. I kept little pieces of him with me—his Arsenal mug, a few of his t-shirts, his boxers and his perfume. The perfume was the most important. It always made me feel better whenever I was down but for some stupid reason I had left it at Loretta’s place and being holed up in Fiyin’s bathroom with no comfort through Saturday night, it was hell. But the last thing I expected was to hear James’ voice the next evening and to hear it calling my name. “Amaka?” he knocked on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?” I didn’t trust my voice to sound normal, so I kept quiet. “Can you please,…

Fish Brain Clan (3) James

JAMES There are many versions to this story but there is only one reason I mentioned Amaka’s name at the altar on my wedding day. When you love a woman, nothing on earth can stop you from thinking about her. Before I go on, let it be known that Onagite is a mentally disturbed woman. I understand that it’s really not a psychological disease but years of shameful leaving, a desperate bid to get married and the awful realization that she is getting old that has turned her insane. She is what I believe they call a sociopath. I want to begin with the big question: did I know that Onagite had a terrible past? I did. No woman today is a saint but when three of your friends have slept with her, you know that the situation is really critical. I wasn’t getting married to Onagite because I loved…

Fish Brain Clan (2) Onagite

ONAGITE I waited for him to say my name. Pastor Ishi waited. The whole congregation waited. But James just stood there and confirmed, to my horror, that he actually called Amaka’s name. I wanted to die! No, it wasn’t possible; it had to be a dream. Maybe people didn’t hear. Maybe James’ microphone had not really worked. Then I heard people murmuring. The microphone had worked. They heard and they were now talking about me, laughing at me, saying “shey she wants to marry?” They were already tweeting and updating their Facebook status. My social life was dead! God! How could James do this to me? Why did they pin that stupid microphone to his suit? God, why did you even create that thing called Amaka? Tears burned my eyes and I felt a fever coming. Before I could stop myself, I was hyperventilating and my hands were shaking my…

Fish Brain Clan (1) Amaka

AMAKA It was something right out of a movie scene. I think I even watched it in an episode of Friends, where Ross at the altar, about to say his vows to his fiancée, Emily, called out Rachel’s name instead. It went something like this: “I, Ross, take you Rachel…” And I can tell you that the wedding ended right there and then. Seriously, what girl in her right mind would go on to marry a guy who was thinking about someone else other than her at the altar?! Well, I wouldn’t but since I was the other girl whose name was mentioned, I would go right ahead and say ‘I do!’ Hehehehehe. Like I said, right out of a movie! James called my name in front of Watzhername, her family, his family, all their relatives, their friends, church members and a few wedding crashers—over two thousand people in all. When…

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