It's Another Novocaine Saturday

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #23

Doctor Omotola Adeniyi Onuora is officially the most annoying patient I’ve ever had to deal with. And I can’t show my annoyance because family.

She is about to have her baby and some members of the family are here. Tola invited them and others for the birth of her son. Even some strange faces I have never seen before are present. She says they are her cousins. There’s one wearing a white garment, going about and sprinkling some weird water around the VIP birthing unit. I have had to send everyone out, leaving Nne and Elsie with us. Without them, I would have lost my mind.

“Tola, stop cussing and push this boy out nau.”

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #22

Read all the episodes of It’s Another Novocaine Saturday I’m holding my phone. Restless, I visit Facebook for the fifth time, going through old posts. When I get tired, I stop and pull my laptop close and add a few words to a blog post I’ve been working on for days. I stop after a paragraph and visit my phone again, my eyes darting to the door that leads to the fast food joint I’m chilling in. She is late. Why is she late? Did she change her mind? Is she held in traffic? A couple of uni girls in a corner who before now were taking selfies, are presently throwing glances my way. It’s my reading glasses. I always get female attention when I have them on. Honey says I’m cuter and more approachable with them but who cares about these things? It’s not like one leaves the house…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #21

Good morning! Before you get to read today’s episode, I just want to send my heartfelt condolences to everyone who expressed in the comment section that they lost someone dear to them. Please, accept my sympathies. I didn’t know the episode will go that deep. I’m sorry for the sad memories it dredged up. May you all find comfort in God. On a totally unrelated note, you can subscribe to my RSS Feed to get latest updates. As long as a post comes up, you’ll get notified in the evenings. If there is no post for that day, you will not get notified. If you’re using your phone, scroll down after this post and you’ll see the widget to enter your email for subscription. If you are subscribed to the Mailchimp service already, be informed that it comes once a week only, giving you an option to read from which…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #20

There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love. The above quote was shared on Facebook by my mom when she was struggling with accepting Ndidi into her life. She had told me how she wanted to walk away when the girl surfaced from nowhere. “But where would I go?” Nne asked me as if I had the answer. “Your father is my home, and that home is in my heart, and I carry it everywhere I go.” I was overwhelmed by the profundity of her words. I wanted a love as hers, a heart that could forgive and seek peace no matter what. That day, I made a vow to love Honey the way my mom loved my dad. But there’s an asshole in every man. Nne also said this to me once. This asshole is known to take something good and mess it…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #19

Good morning. I just want to announce to you that I’ll be at the Grill and Read Lagos on Sunday to talk about The Fourth Finger. I’ll also do a reading from the book. If you are free and want to come over, you’re very welcome. Details are in the poster below: And now for today’s episode, which is two-in-one. Enjoy! . . . . . “Sir, I’d like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” Wura gives Kasiobi a jaded stare. She is on the verge of her fourth episode of tears, having cried in different chapters on her way to the Ditorusins. Family lunch, they call it. But to her it is torture. Forcing herself to watch people laugh and chatter heartily, to pretend to be happy as them, to plaster a constant grin on her face, is worse than how she is already feeling. She desires…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #18

Read older episodes of It’s Another Novocaine Saturday If someone is passing by either of the windows of my bedroom on any given Saturday morning, just for the sake of passing by either of my windows, they’d get an earful of my wife responding to my ministrations. And when I say ministrations, I don’t mean anything spiritual. Everyone knows that our Saturday mornings are sexually sacred to us. If you drop by between the hours of 5am to 10am, you might have to wait until we are done. Ndidi is tired of us already, and would usually turn on loud music while she spends time with Jiney as we get busy. This Saturday, however, things are different. Last night we drove to Abeokuta on a whim, picked some hotel without asking directions, and proceeded to have an awesome getaway. We returned early this morning, much to Honey’s annoyance. Left to her,…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #17

Good evening, everyone… Enjoy… I’ve totally lost my mind. I don’t think I can heal from this pain. I can’t comprehend why I should be feeling it in the first place. I feel betrayed, broken and lost. I don’t know who I am or where to begin my life from. The question that keeps hounding me is who is Nididiamaka Onuora? Who am I? I haven’t eaten since that dumb Oba broke the news to me yesterday. I haven’t come out of my room either. He left the house after I kicked him out of the room the moment he told me he was crazy about me. I was hoping he wouldn’t return but the stupid boy came back and has been bugging me ever since. He thinks he can switch from being my younger brother to my boyfriend. Such an idiot. No wonder his friends call him Nasty. His…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #16

If you are yet to like my new Facebook page, Wall of Accents, please do so, for kickass content. https://www.facebook.com/wallofaccents/ You can read more about the page here My mom, the religious nut she is, will always tell me, “Nothing is ever hidden under the sun. One day God will expose you.” It makes me always wonder what type of mother she is. Normal mothers support and protect their kids but my mom will gladly throw me under the bus to please Jesus. And today, she has reared up her ugly head to remind me that nemesis is at my door. “Mommy, I have heard you,” I say to her on the phone. I don’t even know why I answered her call. I am in the middle of something here. “Ojonoka, pray o! Pray well-well! Devil wants to use you.” Devil is already using me. He’s six foot…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #15

Here’s an announcement to new readers! It’s Another Novociane Saturday is a combination of two separate stories. One of them voted as the best series on Moskedapages by my fans. You would enjoy this sequel better if you start the stories from the beginning. Catch up with It’s Another Saturday here & Novocaine Knights here God bless you! . . . . . . Honey’s call meets me in the middle of a birth. My colleague holds my phone to my ear while I’m severing an umbilical cord. Honey wants to know if I can do dinner at theirs. I reply that I’m up to it. She tells me to wear a nice dress. There would be guests. Okay, I reply, thinking about the little red dress I bought off a colleague last week just to butter up to her and her gang of bitchy nurses. They still hate me…

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