Non-Fiction

HE ALSO ASKED ME TO SIT ON HIS LAPS – WHAT PEOPLE DON’T WANT TO HEAR OR SAY ABOUT THEIR PASTORS

I didn’t want to write this story. Never ever! It’s one of those things as they say, one should cover up, especially when one considers the human beings involved. But I thank God that someone like Ese Walter came out and shared her story. I am not God, so I can’t disprove her and say she’s lying, nor can I say she’s telling the truth. I’m only here to share my own story because something has been stirred in me. Mine is a little different from hers but it runs along the same lines and I will combine it with a similar story because I want to expose a few things today. It is not easy to come out and share this. I stand to be judged for sharing it, especially by those who share the same faith as me and who have known me from home. But I make…

THOUGHTS ON “FOR DAYS AND A NIGHT”

My initial thought when I saw the title For Days and a Night was that it was going to have a theme of horror but there I was judging a book by its cover. Someone remind me to never do it again. Nonetheless, that is what Seun does to you when you begin to read this beautiful fifty-four paged work of his artistic brilliance. You start the book thinking you know what to expect and where it is leading but somewhere (not far into the pages) you stop and realize that it takes a different type of concentration to understand where he’s coming from. Now this is not to say the work is vague in any way. No, it’s just poles apart from the normal thing you have probably read. What he does is that he makes thoughts come alive and aloud as you read, that you begin to feel…

Na Fine Boy I Go Chop? [Test-The-Terone]

First Published on Manswers I like fine guys, don’t let the title fool you. Who doesn’t like the finer things in life? We all do. And that is why men invest all their time, money and effort to ensure that they get the fine cars, fine houses and even fine women. Women can put their effort into such too but when it comes to the choice of finding the better half, they couldn’t care less if he fell from a tree of baboons and orangutans, as long as he’s capable. Before I go on, let me define a fine boy. A monkey. A guy who has good looks or is handsome, both facially and body-wise. A guy who is stuck-up on his looks or physical attributes and believes everyone should notice him. A guy who is not so fine but exhibits the characteristics of all three above. In this aspect,…

Fish Brain Clan (3) James

JAMES There are many versions to this story but there is only one reason I mentioned Amaka’s name at the altar on my wedding day. When you love a woman, nothing on earth can stop you from thinking about her. Before I go on, let it be known that Onagite is a mentally disturbed woman. I understand that it’s really not a psychological disease but years of shameful leaving, a desperate bid to get married and the awful realization that she is getting old that has turned her insane. She is what I believe they call a sociopath. I want to begin with the big question: did I know that Onagite had a terrible past? I did. No woman today is a saint but when three of your friends have slept with her, you know that the situation is really critical. I wasn’t getting married to Onagite because I loved…

Fish Brain Clan (1) Amaka

AMAKA It was something right out of a movie scene. I think I even watched it in an episode of Friends, where Ross at the altar, about to say his vows to his fiancée, Emily, called out Rachel’s name instead. It went something like this: “I, Ross, take you Rachel…” And I can tell you that the wedding ended right there and then. Seriously, what girl in her right mind would go on to marry a guy who was thinking about someone else other than her at the altar?! Well, I wouldn’t but since I was the other girl whose name was mentioned, I would go right ahead and say ‘I do!’ Hehehehehe. Like I said, right out of a movie! James called my name in front of Watzhername, her family, his family, all their relatives, their friends, church members and a few wedding crashers—over two thousand people in all. When…

When A Man Cries (Test-The-Terone)

It is said that man came first, so he is automatically the king of the jungle, the head of the home, the stoic picture of what stability ought to be. When he doesn’t get his way, he is not expected to fall on his bed, bury his head in his pillow and cry. When he’s watching Titanic and the tears pool up in his eyes, he is expected to mutter ‘this movie sucks!’ and leave the sitting room. When a strange person of the opposite sex in a bus tries to engage him in a war of words of ugly bantering, cussing and insulting, he’s expected to be the bigger guy, totally ignore her and contain the insults for as long as the journey lasts or else he would be scolded for talking like a woman. When a fellow man beats the hell out of him, he does not dwell…

…and I liked it.

NAVEL GAZING… Beyond What I See Now here you are rushing here to find out what I liked. There’s no way to take the sting out of this so I’ll just cut to the heart of the gist and say it as straightest as I can. I kissed a girl and I liked it. I would now give those of you who are wondering if this is Sally’s blog a few seconds to absorb the shock before I continue. Still want to read on? For those of you who knew me in school, you could say I wasn’t a very good girl. I will not explain why. My past is my past. I had my issues like everyone else. One interesting day, hanging out with friends, I was dared to kiss a girl. At first in my head the idea was appalling but there was this crazy side of me…

Test-the-Terone: (21 Questions) by Terver Trump Malu and Sally

Recently, I asked over thirty women via the net that if they had just one question to ask the opposite sex, what would it be? It might surprise you the type of responses I got. *clears throat* I had to censor some but by and large, my conclusions were that females are not the only species that need figuring out. Men leave a lot of unanswered questions about the very outlandish ways they behave. Many times, couples fight because women simply don’t understand that boys will just be boys no matter what anyone does. Mothers who have raised them know this and in another world, we would be going to them for answers but today, I have decided to dump the load on just one guy. Yes, Terver is here again to answer your questions, ladies. This should prove interesting because some of the questions are, like I said… hmmmm… Just go on ahead and read for yourselves,…

Test-the-Terone: The Stupid Maga

Long time ago when the world was filled with warriors, virgins and noble chaps, things were quite simple. Women stayed at home and took care of the children while men toiled the fields to bring home the bread. It was unheard of for a man not to take care of his woman. She was his load, his responsibility, his cross, and he was to do his duties without any complaints. Any man who couldn’t fit into this type of living was not considered a man. Now fast-forward to the age of enlightenment where women discovered independence and took the reins of their own existence off the hands of men. It was a time of single mothers who paid their own bills, of feminists and proud lesbians, of married women who simply did not solely rely on their husbands for their daily bread and even little girls who beat up…

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