Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #3

Read episode one and two of Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort

It’s been a while I felt a sharp-thrusting in between my thighs like I did yesterday night. I remembered clearly the surprise and disdain widely capitalized on Amaka’s face the day I told her I wanted to stay off sex for a while, but who would have thought I was going to break my 6 months old celibacy with Papa Seun’s ‘divine sword’!

Papa Seun isn’t my type but seriously, how many ladies with a voracious sex apetite like mine considers who or who is not a type when on heat? Mtcheew! Most times, we end up having random sex with people we never thought we could have it with. Well, not ‘we’, maybe just me!

Sitting at the edge of the bed and ruminating over it all, I caught Papa Seun stealing glances at me as if it were some agile man winking at a sexy female bartender. I shook my head unbelievably at what I just rode powerfully without an energy drink. Yorubas must be definitely right about sex and foul spirits. . . There’s nothing enticing about this man on my bed I just screwed or did he screw me?

I hate to remember the ugly details of my ‘sexcapades’ but this one just keeps clicking for no reason. The thought of Eliza flashed through my mind. Obviously, that girl definitely has an eye defect, maybe color blindness. It wasn’t Amaka with Papa Seun, but do I even need to spell it out that it was me? I go iron that girl mouth one day.


* * * * * * * * * * * * *


It was 8.30am. I adjusted my curtains to peep through the courtyard. It was as silent as a grave yard, except for the small kids running around in their nakedness. That was my cue. Papa Seun could now leave my room as everybody had gone about their daily jobs including the likes of Mama Seun who never takes her bath and the nosy Eliza, who sees the wrong person.

“Papa Seun, come and start going o” I said silently.

Who dares struggle with a mad man; you never know if he has lost his teeth or they are still very much sharp.

“Shey time don reach to go ni? Abeg make we do one round join na” he said dragging my arms.

“E be like say something dey worry you o! No be only one round, na four”

“Nothing spoil na. I am ready for you. You sef know say I be man na. I dey hear your moans of pleasure yesterday o!” he said trying to persuade me.

“Papa Seun, e don do o! I go call you when I come aus for evening.” I supported him to the door with my hands pushing him forward.

Who go see free meal and no go wan pitch tent for there? I actually just lied about seeing him in the evening. We definitely won’t get to see.

I locked the door after him and I hit the showers. I removed my clothes, staring at the mirror; I stared at myself. Who says nakedness isn’t a good sight to behold. . . I firmly cupped my boobs with my hands. I smiled at how perky they still remain even though there were days when they were lot perkier than that.

The water sprinkled down my body, and it was so soothing and sweet but as it runs over my face, the memories of the night keeps flooding in.

Papa Seun is indeed a man; little wonder why Mama Seun can never let go or behave as if he was not missing. No woman ever likes to share her man’s goody sacs with another. And that was the only good thing about Papa Seun. Everything physical about him is boring except that!

He’s 5ft tall; that’s how I managed to stay on top. He’s ugly but educated, Primary Six School Leaving Certificate; lol! The worst part is he’s got protruding tummy. How can someone of that body size be nursing a tummy and a whole me just devoured that piece of bread, ‘Konji’ must really be a bastard!


* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Ojota! Ojota! Ojota!”

Loud voices and bad breaths equals some Agberos!

With my on point figure 8 firmly enclosed in a Denim trouser and a long-sleeved crop top; my hair tied into buns and my legs rocking a black sandal Amaka got me from Dubai, I waited by the road for an Oshodi bus, with a small travelling bag and an handbag in my hands.

The early morning sun was beginning to take a peep at me and I was impatiently tired of waiting till an exotic car slowed down beside me. It was a new Mercedes Benz G-Wagon, not sure of the model.

The driver of the SUV rolled down the glasses; lo and behold, the guy was gorgeously handsome. On a closer look, the handsome man was Jide, a guy from an exciting rendezvous.

I remembered clearly the ‘first’ time I met Jide, it was through Sola, a friend who had a crush on me. Yea! That’s if attraction is the same thing as a crush but who cares for fairies and wishes? I’m for real in Flavour’s voice. Dreams, crushes and wishes when it comes to girl/boy matters, are better left for the teens. I’m a grown ass woman; yea right! God bless Black American films.

The first time and countless times I ever met Jide was not as significant as the first day I met him. The first time a woman meets a man is distinctively different from the first day she meets him. I wish I can remember that distinctive moment without remembering Sola.

Sola is a handsome young man, unreserved, very agile, ambitious, and a volatile film person. He was a senior by two years in the university, can’t remember how we met; guess it’s not that distinctive but I know we became close at a point. He’s got good profile for every dream man but I really just couldn’t date him. He is controlling, domineering and manipulative and I think he has less control over the pendulum in-between his thighs. Sola could be funny even though he makes dry jokes. He has a girlfriend but lies about having one but I never hesitated to throw his lies into his face. He’s a trying liar but he definitely lies to the wrong person. . . I’m a female Carl Lightman but natural as Torres in Lie to me Series. . . I watch too much films right? I know.

Sola and I were close until the day he crossed a huge line.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Seriously, how many times do we have to discuss this? Put your attraction for me under check. All I want for you, is to be a good friend and if you don’t want to, the door is as good as open, but kissing or shacking up with a man I’m not dating or seeing is a no-no for me.” I stressed with my voice at the highest pitch.

Who says hookers don’t have standards? Maybe those by the road sides.

“I like you, I’m attracted to you, I love you, I want to date you, but we really can’t make it public till I’m sure we are taking this serious.” Sola said.

Lest I forget, Sola enjoys being treated like a baby and you know the worst part, you have to be a strong woman like I am not to fall for his deceptive bedroom voice. Guys do have bedroom voices too you know and when a guy is using that on you, he’s either trying to calm you down for real or trying to get that big bro into that tiny hole. Very manipulative voice! Cos from experience, that’s a red light sweetheart. I deserve better than secrecy, but really, do I have to scream into this guy’s ears that I am not willing to go down that road with him not to talk of dating on a low-key?

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So how have you been?”

Jide’s succulent voice brought my body and soul back to life. If there is anything I love about him, it’s the way he picks his words and the voice lighting up and turning up the air-condition of my body. Jide definitely knows how to make a woman let her guards down. . .



  1. Hahaha.. What is it with people named “Jide” and disarming women easily. Yoruba and igbo versions alike.

  2. LOL yes we know the succulent voice

  3. Adewunmi

    Ibukun got me on re-dial…
    Thumbs up boo.

  4. Hmmm, fear all yoruba demons called “Jide”… btw,what’s our escort’s name na, IBK.
    Thanks for the episode jare “omo ilu mi”..hahaha

    • Ibukunwrites

      Hahahahahaha Tomi! I like you! You’re a good reader? and apart from that, you’d know why with time. . .

      • Awwwwwnn, thanks dearie..i like u too “omo ilu mi”.
        Oh well, I can’t wait then.

  5. Calliboom

    interesting… can’t get enough…. thanks ibukuwrites…..

  6. wasmakelly

    nice 1 dear, but please make it a little longer next time.

  7. Wow! Ibukunwrites,pls keep writing. More ink to your pen.
    #Yorubademon noni

  8. This is Beautiful. You Have a way with words.

  9. Funmilola Adekola

    This style is definitely different! Keep it up dear!

  10. Seyifunmi

    I love the way write. The fact that you watch lie to me series is a plus.

  11. Ifeanyi Onochie

    Jide strikes again. Hehe!

  12. Escort aye! Diff categories of brothers for different times. The same place where Baba Seun worshiped is where Jide is trying to get in. Halalooyah!!!
    I enjoyed this too IBK. Big ups

  13. iamhorllamii

    Getting Interesting. Tanx Ibk

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