Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #5

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“Hi!” Sola said with his heart definitely beating beyond normal.

His ‘hi’ was full of guilt; an ‘hi’ trying to contain a disease that may soon turn an epidemic.

“Hello, I am Ayobami, Sola’s girlfriend, and you guys are?”

“. . . his victims dumbass!” Amaka screamed.

Now seriously, Amaka is being really bitchy. Shoo! Wetin the girlfriend do na! And seriously, you’d know an insecure girlfriend when you see one! “Yai, Ayam Sola’s girlfriend” I murmured annoyingly” stupid girl.

“Errm abeg, my time is precious! Who among you is Sola? I take it that you are the one.” Amaka said facing Sola. It was written all over his face that he was uncomfortable and unstable. Guilt is a bastard!

“Do you know that you are a fool and an irresponsible man and a beast!”

Now the conjuncts are getting too much! An indication that Amaka don dey take am personal.

“How could you molest someone who shared an open mind with you? You molested my friend here and its highly unacceptable to me. The fact that she won’t react doesn’t mean I won’t. Now you are here treating yourself to a meal with a chick who thinks you are a great and faithful guy.”

At this stage, the girlfriend opened her mouth speechlessly and Jide likewise was just staring saying nothing. Sola on the other hand definitely doesn’t have anything to say.

“You’ve got something to say to me or my girl?” Amaka asked.

“Oh! Nothing! You think you can go about sending stupid apologetic messages and you think that’s all? This is a huge warning to you, stay away from my friend, do I make myself clear?”

Sola went dumb!

“I guess that silence means yes!”

“Sola, what do you have to say. I really don’t understand. Are these ladies saying the truth?”

Now, the girlfriend is getting emotional. An indication of high disappointment, maybe not for what he did to me, but the unfaithfulness. She grabbed her bag and cried out, runing off slowly in her 3 inches heels.

“Ayo please wait!” Sola screamed!

Now the unexpected happened! Jide hit Sola on the jaw and he landed on his ass. . . I thought they were supposed to be friends.

“I am disappointed in you!” Jide screamed.

“Ouch!” Amaka said definitely with a smile! Stupid girl. She was having fun and we were creating a scene in someone’s business arena and the bartender was walking towards our corner.

“Hi, I am Amaka Coker” stretching forth her hand to Jide.

“I’m sorry. I am Jide Jones”

“My kind of man! I love me some Jack Bauer” Amaka said winking at me with Jide smiling back.

“What’s going on here please! You distracting our customers and making a mess of our restaurant.” The bartender said.

“We are so sorry man! A stipend for your trouble.” Amaka said, dipping some notes in the guy’s pocket while she walked away with Jide at the front and I followed afterwards.

“Fuck you Sola!” I said bending down to him with his ass on the ground.

“And these two just stole my show!” I murmured running after Amaka and Jide.

And then, I fell in love with him just like that!


* * * * * * * * * * * * *

One would have thought Amaka had it for Jide and vice versa, but reverse was the case. . . Amaka never hit on guys, but she never fails to appreciate the aesthetic works of God on a guy whenever she sees one. Sometimes when I’m alone, I realize how much she means to me; she’s the blood sister I never had.

Sitting side by side with Jide never felt so real until I remembered how it started and what it used to be back then. . . Something in me wasn’t convenient with the fact that Jide and Sola’s girlfriend knew about the whole molestation story. I do appreciate my private life and not only normal people get molested, sometimes, escorts are molested too. I’m not admitting to anything *donno what you think I am* but I do appreciate privacy a lot.

“Who cares for privacy? Girl, you dey dull me o. Seriously, what has happened to you?”

“I’m pregnant” I blurted out

“I’m glad but who is the father and don’t tell me it’s Sola cos na molestation you call am no be rape!”

Amaka is a fool! I can see all the gestures in her eyes and I know she’s up to no good.

“Abeg free me Amaka; there is nothing going on. I’m just having some terrible flashes of things I have seem to forgotten; that’s all and I am not pregnant cos I can already see your brain is calculating again.”

“Well, I would have to see a concrete proof that you are not harboring a bastard in there. All you need is a small bottle and we have a lot of unused, yet to expire PT kits in here, so just don’t flush down that early morning water tomorrow, get me my copy!”

“Walahi you be fool!” I said throwing her a pillow.

“Bae, you’d be fine, get over yourself please, don’t allow a simple almost fatal experience tear your walls down, it’s not worth it!”

She threw her arms round me, wrapping me tightly. Amaka is really my soothing massage chair, no homo and we are straight as hell. She’s a good girlfriend and sister. . . she held me tightly for like thirty minutes whispering soothing words in my ears, some crazy words I hit her for, and some, a slap. I was relieved and we were laughing our hearts out until we had a loud bang at the door. . .

“You go get the door, I’m off to the bathroom!” she said to me.

“Why you dey always bath like mammy water pikin like this?”

“I sweated after a very engaging fight I launched on your behalf! Hello o” she said with her eyes almost bulging out.

“I send you message? Mumu girl” I said as she already left for the bathroom.

“You welcome! And by the way, I was kidding about having a copy of your urine, I believe you sweetie” she echoed from the bathroom!

Stupid girl! Like I was gonna give her a copy before? A copy? Is my urine a document? This girl na proper were I tell you; full of misappropriated and twisted dictions.

“Who’s there?”

“It’s me ma.”

“You, who?” I enquired further.


I quickly opened the door. Somehow, I feel responsible for the girl. Somehow, I have this connection with her even though I hate her guts and her uncontrolled blabbing.

“Come in” I said, opening the door for her to enter.

“Thank you.”

She looked so decent and was properly talking to me for the first time that it felt so unreal, except for the fact that her breast packs were missing as usual.

“Wetin happen Eliza?”

“Errrm! Errm! I am so sorry for the other time.”

“It’s fine really.” . . . Was it? Lol.

“Thank you o.” she said almost kneeling down.

“Abeg, aunty Amaka dey aus too? I go like make both of una dey together so I fit talk wetin I wan talk”

“Ow! Okay.” Now this is getting weird believe me.

“Amaka! Amaka o!”

“Yes, you called.”

She was standing right in front of me like some Nollywood disappearing and appearing powers had brought her.

“You finished early.” I said murmuring hoping she didn’t hear that.

“Well, I heard you. Thanks! Life is not static; we change, so I changed for the moment. . . And who do we have here?” she said eyeballing Eliza.

Amaka never liked Eliza, she despises her eagerness and early signs of promiscuity. Mama na prophet. The day she called to tell me Eliza was showing early signs of promiscuity, I laughed my ass out! Gosh!

“Aunty Amaka, good afternoon ma.”

“Afternoon o!”

I can’t help but laugh. “So what can we do for you o Eliza”

“Abeg, I need your financial help. I need to pay my school fee and to register for some O’Level exams like NECO and WAEC GCE. I’ve searched round the compound finding who I can seek help from but you are the only people that crossed my mind.

“Please, help me.” she said kneeling down.

She was actually being overdramatic I think.

“Well that is a small thing, I can spare some contacts.”

“Amaka!” I gave her a very sharp look that screams ‘What was that about’

“Okay, Eliza, we don’t have much but we would help you. First, let’s start with your school fee; that’s the most pressing one.

How much is the school fee?” Amaka asked.

“6,000 naira ma.”

“Okay, come back around 9pm. We would have something for you.”

“Thank you so much. God go bless you o.” she said taking her leave.

“And Eliza, why don’t you wear clothes for your. . .” I said pointing to her chest area.

“The only one wey I get don tear and papa no gimme money to get wetin I need.”

“Okay, what’s your size?”

She looked down without saying anything. I guess that meant she had no idea and was a little embarrassed.

“Okay, wait for me here.”

Amaka was just standing, staring at us. I went in and I came out with some of the new ones I got. They are expensive though.

“This should size you I guess.” I handed it over to her.

“God bless you o!” she left.

“Amaka! What was that about? You have contacts to spare?”

“Yes na. She needed help and since she had been grooming herself for so long, I wanted to give her an expensive opportunity to make for herself more than she needed. We never needed the money but she does.”

“Amaka! Let’s us just forget about this for now!”

“I get what you are trying to do, you feel responsible for her, you’re trying to redeem your soul by helping her, fine! If it works for you, you have my full support.”

“Okay. But don’t forget we are helping her. At least, let’s give her 10k, she pays for her school fees and use the remaining 4k for food or something.

“Alright.” She left!

“We are helping her o Amaka!” I screamed

“And you are responsible for her!” She screamed back from the room.

Yea! That’s the part of Amaka that gets nasty. . . My phone vibrated and that’s a message and I really hope it isn’t Sola.

“hey, how are you feeling now and I guess you feel a lot better. . .

Are you free for 7pm? If yes, I would like to book for that time. Kindly

get back to me. My regards to Amaka. . . Jide.”

Didn’t know I was reading it out until I heard Amaka speak!

“My regards to him too!”

“And anyways he likes you” she said with a laughter in her voice.

I lifted my head and I saw her still there!

“Oh girl! Get your nicki minaj off my sight and go dress up!” I said to her seeing her filling my face with her big ass.

“He likes you o, you know abi?”


“He likes you!” she said walking away and reversing like a car!

“Amaka, na wetin na?” I picked the remote to throw at her and she zoomed off.

Stupid girl!. . . And that was how things started with Jide even though we weren’t dating till he left for New York, only to return without a prior notice.



  1. Ifeanyi Onochie

    I already like Amaka’s character. Eliza, being nice when she’s in a tight corner.

  2. Scribbledheartbreak

    That Amaka girl rocks?.. This was interesting but finished way too quick nah.. I am suing you for suspense creation and making me wait till next friday-See you in court!!!
    Nice write too.. Remain blessed

    • Hahahahahaha! Your comment is bae!!!! I was cracked up! Thanks a lot darling!

    • Ibukunwrites

      Hahahahahaha girl! Your comment is so bae!! I was cracked up. Thanks a lot Darling!

  3. Hmmm, Eliza Eliza.. professional beggar cum aproko. I like Amaka’s craziness, so lit!!!
    Btw ibukun, what is the name of this escort na?? U wan take am cook soup? Lol…Nice read jare, u are the “bump”.

  4. I like dis Amaka babe o. well written Ibukun

  5. Adeshina omotayo*

    Ibukun is back with a bang… Amaka well done

  6. wasmakelly

    getting more interesting by d day. loving it. more greeze to ur elbow

  7. hacolyte

    Amaka is seriously bcuming an addiction o n is d escort really preg. Wetin happened to our approko Eliza wif d way she reversed to her enemies ouse to go do fyn bara (begging). Ibukun u re da bomb, nice rite up. Kisses

  8. Haaa.. Jide is too fast o. Someone just accused your friend of violating her and you’re already hitting on her same day? Hostile overtaker ?
    Great episode ibukun. Well done!

  9. iamhorllamii

    I jst luv ds Amaka bae 4 her braveness shaa d bae get courage die. Still Dnt knw her frnd name oo.

  10. iamhorllamii

    I jst luv ds Amaka bae 4 her braveness shaa d bae get courage die. Still Dnt knw her frnd name oo. Tanx IBK

  11. Playing catch up on this. I already see Amaka as a part of the Amaka in the Fish Brain series. Too much ginger dey her body. Lemme quickly hop on the next episode.

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