Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #4

Read older episodes of Memoirs of a Repentant Escort

It took me a while to get myself together. . .

“I’ve been great. And you?” I replied.

“Obviously doing awesome my dear.”

I saw his eyes flash through my cleavage. I remembered how he kept his eyes glued on my boobs the day he told me he was into me. He obviously still has a crush on those wonderful works of Jah. I chuckled.

“What?” he asked. I guess he was wondering why I chuckled.

“What’s what?” I stressed back with my eyes graciously focused on him.

“Seriously what?” he asked again.

“Really, you want to do the what thing? Stop doing that!” I screamed sexily.

Having a woman screamed sexily is one of the greatest enthusiasm guys feel. The more he tried to hide it, the more his eyes increasingly gave him away.

“Stop doing what?” Jide said, but this time, more daring as he pouts his face into mine.

“It’s been a while you know. . .” he said.

Jide kept his face into mine for like five minutes and who knows how much he would have stayed till a petrol tanker flashed its red lights and that crazy sound the horn always make.

“You might want to keep your eyes more on the road you know!” I winked at him and he readjusted.

“Hmmmm, never mind me, you intrigue me always. Those eyes, those legs, that face, that brain, that woman! Seriously, it’s just been six months I went away and it feels like I have never met a woman before in my life, even though you turned me down till I left.”

“Exactly what I need you to stop! You flirting with me Jide, not nice!” I said.

“And you enjoying every bit!” he replied.

Now I couldn’t hold my laughter. He caught me, I was really enjoying it. I love it when a guy flirts with me, especially when it turns out to be someone I like! It’s not only me I guess. Most ladies like it!

Wild thoughts began to run through my mind! Hmmmm, bad girl! The worst thing that could ever happen in this SUV right now is to have that awesome experience! Well, yeah! Amaka told me about having a sexual affair with a crush she never said yes to, and how awesome it always feels shacking up with some you are not exclusive with. . . Many strings attached, less emotions involved! I want to try it some day. I love to try new things you know!

“So where are you off to?” Jide asked, breaking the silence!

“Well. . . Why didn’t you call me to tell me you are around?” I fired back.

“And why should I tell you? . . . ” he said trying to get something out of me.

“Because I know you really do wanna tell me right now.”

Now, that’s me trying to psych him.

“And why would I want to do that?” he said.

“Hmmmmm” I sighed licking my lips.

“Six months, I was away for an advanced course and you never thought it nice enough to call or reach out, even though we weren’t a thing but I did try to make us a thing but for some reasons I don’t know, you kept on turning me down. So, when I came back, which I just did yesterday, I never really thought I was one person you would be interested to see.” He said with so emotions and I can feel it.

“Awwww. . . I’m sorry but really you could have tried and see what my reaction would be, but seriously, I do wanna see you!”

I couldn’t believe I just said that.

“Really?” he asked eagerly.

“Yea. . . but don’t blush.”

“I won’t. . . lol.”


* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Leave me alone! You hurting me!”

I was screaming loud, hitting him and was sobbing, but he never gave a damn.

I remember the day Sola molested me. He never slept with me but he rumpled my body. I remember getting tired of hitting him that I just laid there at a point and allowed him have his way till he gets tired if he ever does!

We just finished sharing a nice meal of roasted plantain popularly referred to as boli with groundnut, and a bottle of coke and I guessed he mixed his with an half bottle of ‘Osomo’. I got busy surfing the net and Sola began getting cozy with his mouth to my ears like a dog licking another dog’s ear wound. I told him to stop; he did and later on continued and this time, he was like a beast. . . like I’ve never seen him before.

He was voraciously eating my ears like a dessert; his hands on my breasts; then his mouth. I couldn’t take it anymore! I screamed, silently sobbing. He stopped and went silent like an alcoholic trying to be sober.

I stood up, fixed my hair with my hands and I took my bag to leave.

“I’m really sorry. I’m not like this. I just really like you, you know and I missed you!”

I was silent. It felt stupid hearing a guy I was never having an affair with talking about missing me like as if we’ve been sleeping with each other or touring each other’s bodies. Some guys are beasts and it so sad have met more beasts than a cooing rabbit in a lifetime.

“At least if you must leave, can you wait while I get you something to comb your hair?”

I wasn’t angry, in fact, I couldn’t place what I was feeling; whether annoyance, hate or anger. The truth is, a guy who can harass or molest, can rape and hell be let loose if someone ever claim this guy can’t rape!

He went in with my bag as a security measure for me not leaving by the time he returns. I took the brush, ran it through my weave, he continued to apologize till I took my leave.

He called my phone endlessly, sending texts but who cares for an apology over a cloth that has been rumpled, ater all there’s no light to iron it. . . How I wished he had tried it with Amaka, he’d have been in the ‘market’ by now. Mad girl!

All things being said, no grudges or unforgiveness harboured but that was the last day I was going to speak to him.


It’s Saturday. I love Saturdays. . . who doesn’t?

I had just woken up with a loud bang on my head like the sound coming out of a pendulum hitting the walls of a bell. I didn’t have the best night, but I never had the worst. All through the night, my mind was clouded with thoughts I couldn’t place. That seemingly minute experience I had with Sola really spoilt my mood. My memory was refreshed and it was as if I was digging my hands into my brain to remember so many hurtful things that had taken place in my life.

“Hey, how are you feeling now?” Amaka said handling me a hot cup of coffee.

“I’m good girlfriend; just a little bit depressed.”

“Sorry ehn. Is there anything else you would like me to get you?”

This girl and her over-pampering abilities, chai! “Anyways Amaka, I am fine o!” I replied her.

“Well, if you say so.” She said leaving for the bathroom.

I was surprised she let the matter slide without probing any further. That is very unlike Amaka. I took a sip from the coffee; Amaka does make good coffee, even if she no sabi any other thing related to the kitchen.

I was really tired and wanted to sleep again but Patoranking’s “No Kissing ” blasting from somewhere in the room diverted my attention; it was definitely coming from my phone. That’s my favourite naija hit for now and now my ringtone, no time! I could hear Amaka’s cocky voice humming to it.  .  . E sure me say if that girl release a track, na only me go download am just for love sake, not to talk of an album.

“Where the hell is the phone sef?”

“Under the bed.” Amaka screamed from the bathroom.

“And who dropped it there?”

“And is that a question for me to answer?” Well then, you might want to ask your humble self rolling over the bed like a possessed being. . . An obvious indication that you are indeed fine.

“Na you sabi o! Aproko.”

“I don turn aproko now abi. No wahala na. Make I get out of this bathroom.” She replied.

“Amaka, I no get your time this morning o, I no even sabi wetin you dey wash since morning.”

I finally found the phone under the bed and guess who had been calling since yesterday, leaving me tons of apologetic texts; it was Sola!

“For God’s sake, do I need to vomit ‘I am not Angry’ into this guy’s ears before he understands that I am not angry? Abi what? It’s enough he had to make me feel terrible about myself and a lot of sinking deep into the past being done, but seriously, Sola, gimme a break!”

“Wow! Guess he really needs to hear the last part cos ain’t no Sola here” Amaka said with her micro-mini towel wrapped around her body.

“Walahi Amaka, I’d kill you this morning.” I said, pouting my face into her face.

“And I’d gladly die for your sake. . . Gosh! for crying out loud, just admit you’re pissed, it’s okay to be mad; it’s okay to confess you not feeling fine. Sola or whatever him papa and mama name him is a cow and I’m sure he’s somewhere pretending he’s sorry for what he did yet, he’s having fun while you are here reading those texts of his that are not one inch close to apology. You are my person, and no guy tries shit with my person.”

“You’ve been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy obviously. . .”

“Shey na wetin you go talk be that? Your good heart go kill you one day. Whether you like it or not, at a point in life, you’ve just gat to offend some people o and make enemies if need be so far it’s for your good. Stop playing cool all the time. . . Get fired up! Address the f**king attitude and give your anger an expression!

“Point well taken Prof. Amaka.” I said, goggling my eyelashes like someone with a peg in her eye.

“. . . And you are welcome dull apprentice!” she ran off.

“You for wait na. I’d have shown you some dullness.”

“And you need to dress up girl, we are going out!” Amaka said, shouting at the top of her voice from the room.

“And where the hell would I be following you to? Mtcheeew! I’d be damned if I dress up!”

“You should be!” she said locking up the room door!

“Amaka, open this door now o!” I said with my fist banging the door.

Stupid girl! She already heard my footsteps! Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been without her. . . Less-stressful I guess!


* * * * * * * * * * * * *

“I’d like Champagne”

“And you ma?” the bartender asked facing Amaka

“I’d like a bottle of Smirnoff and some well prepared cowskin. . . Emphasis on well-prepared o!” she said trying to scare the waiter.

Amaka is an ass! See the way she was ‘stronging’ her face like someone who dey beg shit to come out of her yansh. As if she had ate a bad ‘ponmo’ at the restaurant before! Kai! She can spoil business.

“Why na, what I do? Why are you looking at me like that? I was just being real, hello o!”

“I don hear you o!” I responded.

“Unlike you, ordering for a champagne when you should knack better alcohol like vodka to wash away that thing wey dey bug your mind, dey form well-mannered girl for there!”

“Na you sabi. I actually thought you were going to Sola’s house to go do something crazy.”

“Well, I will. Maybe not today. I’ll deal with him tomorrow.”

The bartender brought our order, and while I was just looking around, my eyes caught Sola and Jide with a plus one which should either belong to one of them. They were sitting and chatting at a corner. I never knew he was Jide then.

“Maybe you really don’t have to wait till tomorrow.” I murmured.


“We have company over there.” I said, shooting my eyes in the direction of Sola with Amaka’s eyes tailing the direction.

“Well then, are you ready to be a bitch?”

“After you Prof.!”  I said feeling some deep guts down my throat.

We both laughed, stood up from our seats, abandoning our order which was as good as not touched. With Amaka at the front, I followed her. Dada no fit fight but e get person wey chop liver pass am.



  1. Nice nice nice…more episodes!!!
    Thanks IBK.

  2. Nice one. Scattered though,but I want to believe, it’s the past about how she met Jide . All the same,wonderful write up. Keep it up ma. Expecting more.

    • Ibukunwrites

      Thanks for the observation! Bless up!

  3. The switch from being with Jide to being assaulted by Sola was confusing. It’s much later at the bar i realized she was recounting how she met Jide.
    Great conversation though. Well done.

    • Ibukunwrites

      Noted for improvement! Thanks so much for reading

  4. Prof. And her dull apprentice? It surely a nice combination! I dey hail o! @ibukun_writes

  5. Sola+Jide is in for it ooo….Babe abeg express your anger…well done Ibukun….i love d story.

  6. mystiq18

    M still getting to understand the story… But its nice

  7. Sola is in hot soup…..well done gurl.

  8. Wow, how did I miss this? Oya now Miss Dada ati Olugbeja..haha. I can’t wait to see the look on their faces.
    Well done iBk..that reminds me, what is it you wanna tell me o “omo ilu mi”?

  9. Seyifunmi

    Onward Christian soldiers!!!!!

  10. Ifeanyi Onochie

    Amaka the “gingerer”, let’s go!!!

  11. Nice one Ibukun. I like how it’s progressing really. The escapades and the drama, they’re things one can relate with, I mean they’re real.
    Big ups

  12. wasmakelly

    Dat amaka girl thinks she is d definition of craze shey, I pity her. very funny thou

%d bloggers like this: