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Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #6

Previous episodes of Memoirs of a Repentant Escort

Going out with Jide was exactly my getaway. I needed the cool aura, the solemn oldies and the delicious sauced fried snails of the restaurant. . . Jide is indeed a man of class and I enjoyed every meal from the dessert to the main course and to every music played that I couldn’t but store the name of the restaurant in my petite medulla oblongata. . . Can’t even remember the last time I went on a date or treated myself purposelessly to a great meal but it definitely would be two weeks today that I had my last ‘sexcapade’. . . well, they are both nourishing to the body, it depends on which is prioritized. In short, I had an obvious fun that has shifted my attention more to the food aspect.

Finally, Jide pulled a stop in front of my humble No. 5 home. We were both silent throughout the ride except for the part where he made a stop at KFC. A part of me was really tired that all I wanted to do was run a hot bath and sleep but the other part was willing to excitedly respond to Amaka’s impending ‘gist me’ long-throat and the ‘what did you do when he did this?’ ‘what’s the unexpected that happened?’ ‘Did you guys kiss?’ and I’d so vomit in her face, God help me.

“I’m so glad you could squeeze out a time. I had a great time.” He said, finally breaking the silence.

“Well, I had a nice time too. Thanks for the dinner and the ride.”  

“Anytime dear. . . And I must say you looked so delectable tonight.”

I thought he never noticed and would never compliment me! God help am, I thought to myself but seriously I be fool o! lol.

“Thanks. You look great too.”

Then he got down, came over to my side and opened the door, ‘how gentlemanly’ and Amaka’s voice was screaming in my head ‘Don’t be deceived’ lol. . . the girl no dey ever trust guys like I was even better but she’s definitely the worst except if she really likes the guy but she hardly does.

“Thanks.” I said finally stepping down from the cool breeze of the AC.

“My pleasure.”

“Let me walk you to the door and use that opportunity to say hi to Amaka that’s if she’s around.”

“She should be.”

“And this is for Amaka.”

He handed me a takeaway pack and I could smell it without opening it and it was humming KFC.

“Ok. Thanks.”

I wanted to say he shouldn’t really have bothered but I have learnt overtime not to tell a guy ‘he shouldn’t have’ after he already did. The truth is I’m glad he did but in the bid to be courteous and all, we end up saying ‘you really shouldn’t have bothered’ when the bother dey sweet my belle as hell. A simple and sincere thank you says it all.

He slipped his palms into mine; I made a light and silent chuckle. It kinda felt good; mine was cold, his was warm.

“Una weldone o! You go out? Welcome”

Hehehehehehehehehehehe; this woman will not kill me. Jide sef couldn’t hide his amusement. . . Mama Seun and her uncensored gbeboruns. . . I don’t even know what she was doing there. Most times, I tend to find her annoying and another time, hilarious . . . plus all the neighbours join together but guess that’s what you get when you live in a house with a funny plan as No. 5 and your friend refuses to answer the door bell. . . Abi Amaka don get company?

Before I could even look sideways to reply Mama Seun, she don vamoose and Amaka had finally opened the door. I gave her a sharp look that speaks “wa a fe ku lale yi” in Reminisce’s voice making sure she got the look.


“Hello” Jide said, replying Amaka.

“You weren’t around when I came to pick her. . .”

“Yeah right. I took a walk. . . Six months and it’s already been like a year. . . Good to see you again! You guys should come in na!”

“Hmmmm. I am definitely about to say the same. It’s highly great seeing you again too Amaka. . . Hope she hasn’t been much of a trouble?”

“Not too much trouble beyond my grasp. . .”

“You are not well. . .” I fired back at Amaka.

“I would like to take my leave from here. . .” Jide said.

“Alright then. . . Thanks for stopping by and thanks for the KFC too!” Amaka replied.

“And who told you it was yours?” I snapped.

“And whose would it be if not mine. Wetin I sha know be say, no be you buy am come house for me.”

“And who says I would buy something and bring home for you?” I said rolling my eyes with Jide enjoying our mini soap opera.

“Exactly my point! You can’t and you didn’t!”

“Whatever! Take, chop am and add am to your nicki ass!” I hit her with it on the chest.

“No hard feelings bae, would gladly.”

“You girls are hilarious. . .

“Girls? Hello o! We grown ass women! We are ladies.” Amaka cuts in.

“Pardon my slip of tongue. . . would love to be on my way now ladies.”

“Well-said! Thanks for coming by. Goodnight.” Amaka said, dashing off into the room, jamming the door loudly.

The girl is a fool, I don’t know what game she’s trying to play leaving us two outside. I stood by the door balancing on the ground with my 3 inch Alexander McQueen heels that makes me a 6 ft 5”, a crop top and a jean. I love my body; there’s no other way I love to admire myself than when standing.

“Take care. Would call you tomorrow. . . Good night.”

“Good night Jide!”

I watched him enter his car, reverse and drive off till I couldn’t see his car again and I guess that meant something; something that’s not healthy for me!

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

It rang 6.00a.m. sharp. . . Nothing’s constant like the precision of my alarm clock waking me up when it needed to. Rising from the bed isn’t one of my favourite to do list events but staying too long on the bed could make me sick. . . Right! But staying on the bed all day long is Amaka’s most hideous hobby. She calls it ‘beauty rest’! lmao! How I wish that was really true; lazy Igbo girl!

The whole compound was silent except for the glorious sounds coming from Mama Seun and her husband’s quarters and that could only be one thing. Well, I am impressed Mama Seun could make him sound that way but I guess I make him yell!

“Really, early morning sexual fantasies?”

It was as if I was Riggan and there was a birdman voice but the difference is I wasn’t tormented but bullied by a voice not an inch closer to Birdman’s but very much similar to Amaka’s.

“What?” I said facing her.

“Water. . . You make him yell!” she said spoiling her whole face.

“Never knew I said that out!”

“Well you did!”

“And I thought you were sleeping. . .”

“And I was until you started becoming weird. . .” she fired back with her big eyeballs rolling.



Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi popularly known as Ibukunwrites/EGO is a Writer ~ (Content | Non-Fiction | Fiction | Poetry | Screen). She's a Blogger, an Avid reader, Fun Cook, Baker, an Aspiring Media Personality, a Language Enthusiast, a Wordsmith, an ardent lover of Art & Documentary.

Ibukunwrites is highly passionate about women, children and abuse related causes and she tries to show these in her writings. She's a sucker for African literature, simplicity in writing and story telling; also a Shondaland addict, a die-hard fan of music and movies. . . not your everyday kinda girl!

Her Anthology "Creeping Voices" published late last year is available for download on okadabooks.com.

She tweets at @ibukunwrites on Twitter. Ebukun Gbemisola Ogunyemi on Facebook and also, @ibukunwrites on Instagram.

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  1. Ifeanyi Onochie says:

    Is Jide just dragging his feet or he’s trying to be a gentleman with her?

  2. Temitope says:

    Nice one

  3. Ayo says:

    “I make him yell….”. and she said that out loud. I hope all is well with our escort o.
    nice one Ibukun

  4. Sampson says:

    Remind me what this episode was all about pls!

  5. Kelixa says:

    Keep it up. I m xo loving this

  6. Seye says:

    The exchange between Amaka and the escort in Jide’s presence…that’s how palss roll.
    Shebi her talk about making Baba Seun yell is what you learned people call “thinking out loud” 😀
    Well done Ibukun, well done.

  7. AOS says:

    Nice dear, keep it rolling. Thanks.

  8. Funmilola Adekola says:

    Feeling you lady escort! #justthinkingoutloud

  9. the plot thickens. you should however watch the use of tenses.
    cant wait for the next one. thanks for sharing with us

    1. Ibukunwrites says:

      Thanks. I’ll do just that.

  10. Omowunmi says:

    Me ayam beginning to like this Jide guy o, pls don’t make him disappear.

  11. lizzy says:

    More ink to ur pen

Comments are closed.