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The Darker Berry #5

Hi guys! Good evening, or as some people around here will say, Happy Sunday. Tomi has been under the weather. My poor baby is ill. Please be kind enough to send a prayer up. Other than that, it’s all good here. Have a lovely week ahead! He didn’t seem like himself. Something felt off about him. Tired, somewhat red eyes admired her in a lazy manner when she walked into the restaurant for their breakfast date. Even when he stood to meet her, it seemed like he was beat. But a million-dollar smile spread across his lips, followed by a warm hug. Too warm maybe. His neck burned hers a little when they hugged. “Wow. You came. I thought you’d stand me up, after all the forming.” “Don’t be silly, Femi,” she replied, lowering herself to sit in the chair he pulled out for her. “Eighteen days of…

Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #11

Sometimes, unnecessary stress makes someone add unnecessary weight. . . such was the dilemma I found myself in. Everything about me had changed. It was like I had lost the two most important persons to me. . . No sex in three weeks; so very unusual. I seemed to have already lost interest in life; couldn’t find savour in anything. . . I became unexplainably depressed since that encounter with Jide at the hospital. I have grown to love him but we just kept dripping apart. Amaka on the other hand is where she is and they are like all I ever have left. I decided to take a break from my pity party situation. Haven’t stepped out in two days, all I had been doing was running hot bath; my favourite hobby in the world, feeding on anything calories, lying on the bed, listening to Dido’s “Life for rent”…

Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #5

Older episodes of Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort “Hi!” Sola said with his heart definitely beating beyond normal. His ‘hi’ was full of guilt; an ‘hi’ trying to contain a disease that may soon turn an epidemic. “Hello, I am Ayobami, Sola’s girlfriend, and you guys are?” “. . . his victims dumbass!” Amaka screamed. Now seriously, Amaka is being really bitchy. Shoo! Wetin the girlfriend do na! And seriously, you’d know an insecure girlfriend when you see one! “Yai, Ayam Sola’s girlfriend” I murmured annoyingly” stupid girl. “Errm abeg, my time is precious! Who among you is Sola? I take it that you are the one.” Amaka said facing Sola. It was written all over his face that he was uncomfortable and unstable. Guilt is a bastard! “Do you know that you are a fool and an irresponsible man and a beast!” Now the conjuncts are getting too much!…

Memoirs Of A Repentant Escort #2

Hi guys, it’s Sally here. Please catch me on radio this morning, Inspiration FM 92.3. 10am You can listen live on streema here . . . . . . . . . . . And there I stood, it wasn’t a dream. It was me staring into the bulging faces of Mama Seun and the beautiful ‘gbeboruns’ of No. 5 pretentiously referred to as neighbours. Staring at each other, we were both lost for words for few minutes. The meeting was so awkward, and it was the first of its kind in the history of my co-tenancy with Mama Seun. “Omo ilu mi, ma binu jare, na only you dey house?” Finally, she said. I made a prolonged silent hiss motivated by anger and frustration. I was so mad at Mama Seun for spoiling my morning and sabotaging my sleep, after all, I wasn’t the one she was looking for…

His Little Black Book #5

Abuja was a disaster. I wish I hadn’t gone. Wish I had made a mountain out of a molehill over my ankle injury and stayed back. Then I would have spared myself the heartbreak and embarrassment that followed. Now, the trip didn’t start out badly, although my ankle was hurting and I was uncomfortable with my short skirt which was bent on exposing my nudity in front of my boss. Don’t get me wrong. I have nursed fantasies of me being nude before him but not like that. Not with the chauffer sitting in front and thinking of me as a slut. You see the problem with people like us who are down the status ladder is that we don’t support each other. The chauffer carried this look on his face like I had thrown myself at the boss. But I had not. The bloody stiletto had. Anyway, who cared…

Couch Potato

On a sad note, there will be no Novocaine Knights for now. I am taking a break to work on so many projects. Emphasis on so many; I need my mind and time uncluttered. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone for but Fish Brain Vows continues because it’s already been written down. So, this is one of my short stories. I didn’t know what to call it. I chose Couch Potato in the end. It is a heartfelt love letter from a she to a he. Enjoy Dear Friday, Yes, i can call you Friday because i have lost respect for you. I will call you by your name and there’ll be nothing you’ll do to me because i will be dead by the time you’re reading this, burnt to ashes at the backyard. And you will cry, Friday. Yes you’ll cry like the useless baby…

To Tame A Virgin #4

Read previous episodes HERE The weather was strangely cold and Uyi watched as Temi shivered in her seat even though the AC in the office was turned off and the window next to her was closed. He wondered why of all days, she had decided not to wear a sweater. But needless to say, she was looking good in a plain white top that made no attempt at hiding her breasts and Uyi was glad that she had gone the extra mile to appear sexy. She had been a sight for sore eyes for him, a distraction from the complex matrix systems he had been staring into all day. “Thank God it’s Friday!” A colleague exclaimed with his hands in the air and Uyi knew it was four o’clock. He smiled at the colleague who had gone back staring into his screen through thick glasses. He was a strange…

To Tame A Virgin #2

Read #1 here The slaughterhouse was at it again. Somehow they had found a way to infuriate Uyi on Monday morning with a crude joke on him, one he wasn’t going to be laughing to in a while. Being an unusual character, poles apart from most people, he never allowed the things that normally got to others bug him. Having faced a lot of suffering in his life, he always cleanly found a way to replace disturbing thoughts with happier ones and moved on. Take the Vivian and Edet incidence for instance. By the time the sun had set that evening and he had been cured of his Buran Tashi issue by Doctor Ahmed, Uyi had totally erased Vivian from his place of affection and replaced her with the model chick in his office, refusing to take Vivian’s calls or reply her texts. Furthermore, he didn’t consider it necessary to…

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