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Where To Find Breasts #34

Read previous episodes of Where To Find Breasts This episode of Where To Find Breasts is dedicated to Oluwakemi Obilade. Happy birthday in arrears! Kyenpia was up before Leonel. He would usually stir at exactly 4:30 a.m. each morning, and she, an hour later. But she hadn’t had a good sleep in three days. Somewhere in Boston, Ishi lay on a hospital bed in an intensive care unit. It didn’t feel right to her that he was there; he had been through so much already. His surgery had gone well but recovery was slow. This drove Kyenpia crazy, and it showed. Her body was terrible at keeping secrets. First, it was the rapid weight loss, then the anxiety attacks that she tried to hide, and now the sleeplessness. Leonel was beginning to ask questions. This was in addition to the passive-aggressiveness he had displayed for five days. “Do we need…

From Home To Rendezvous #9

November 2013 (the present moment) Since the beginning of man has freedom been appreciated, an abstract object that might be paid to get or paid not to get depending on what situation one finds herself. A lady in police custody would gladly pay to get her freedom if she could afford it. Another person surviving to breathe would pay to be admitted on a sickbed, his freedom taken away and tied with a drip hung for him to look up to. But whatever the case of each individual, freedom was a thing of value and each was purchasing freedom from one thing to lose it to another. Martha could argue which of the two sides of freedom was good and which wasn’t. She knew there’s always a clause. Once a person bought freedom from the police custody, he got back to her life – of drinking, partying, misery, responsibilities. The…

Where To Find Breasts #18

Good day, Fam! Hope you’re all good? I want to inform you that I’ll be taking a long break from here, to return in November. As usual, work has got me occupied, and I don’t want to be erratic. I’ll miss being in this space, but I’ll be back. Enjoy this episode and take care! “I’d like to talk to the parts of you that had a threesome in your suite last night.” The response to Idara’s query was a subtle smile on Leonel’s face. She knew at once whom she was communicating with. She hadn’t spoken to Spirit in a long time. It was a good thing to have him around. This meant progress. “I didn’t have a threesome. I wish I did, but I didn’t. I ended up watching the girls make out, because one of them smelled of roses. I think she dunked herself in a pool…

Where To Find Breasts #5

Click here to read previous episodes of Where To Find Breasts Happy Father’s Day! Yenkat hated blind dates. She didn’t believe that they had anything good to offer. They were akin to rolling a die and expecting to find a number greater than 6 or hoping to draw a joker from a standard 52-card deck. The chances of either of those happening was as slim as a perfect man falling from heaven. This was Yenkat’s dilemma. She wasn’t searching for a man, but she was going on blind dates, hoping that she found a good one. A man worthy of her time, intellect and body. All in a bid to keep from going deep with Omar who was fulfilling his promise of making her fall for him. It wasn’t easy to stop herself from feeling many kinds of ways when she got his random morning phone calls. To start with,…

Biyankavitch #16

I didn’t know where she was taking me. If this was her version of eloping, she was a joker. Gun to my face, she professed love. Said we were meant to be together for eternity. Said I couldn’t do without her. “Let’s forget these men and all the things they make us do and disappear from the surface of the earth. Me and you. Hmmm? I have all the money that can take us to the moon and get us lost there. And even if it finishes, we have your daddy’s dough in reserve.” Her lips brushed against mine as she spoke. I could almost taste the blood on her face. “Come away with me, sugar. Shai Girl wants you. Shai Girl needs you. But if you don’t want to go away, we can stay and finish every single one of them. You and me together. I know we can…

Biyankavitch #14

Lanre was angry. Justifiably so. I had defied his orders not to go solo by hunting down Shiloh’s men and finishing them off in a three-day job. It wasn’t that I was being directly stubborn; it was that I followed my gut instinct. And it wanted blood, so I did what it asked me to do. “What’s the point bringing my friends together to help you when you just want to do things on your own?” Lanre’s voice was quiet. His anger was presented only in his eyes. “Lanre, you know the plan.” “There was no definitive plan. Just a floating idea, a suggestion I threw into the air.” “You said, ‘it would be nice to clear her crew’ and I did just that. I also baited her.” “And where is she now?” “She’ll come to me.” “How do you know that?” “She will come, Dada. I know.” “You only…

Biyankavitch #13

Previously on Biyankavitch… The Bahagos were on a weekend getaway at Liana Resort. Things were going well until the baby of the house, Jethro, fell into a coughing fit that let him grasping for his life. Bianca’s verdict: He was poisoned. His girlfriend was the top suspect. Here’s what happened next… Facts about Jethro’s case. He didn’t die. But he was almost there. And he could get there any moment. His father had threatened hail and fire on the Bahagos if his son didn’t come out alive. Ola, his girlfriend, was not a killer – in principle. She readily confessed when the back of my hand assaulted her baby face. I didn’t tell anyone in the family that she was responsible for poisoning Jet, because I wouldn’t have been able to get information from her if I did. I knew who was responsible for the attack, and I was going…

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