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To Tame A Virgin #1

  It was called the slaughterhouse for obvious reasons. There was not one single evening that a sexual act was not being committed there. Originally it was just a three-bedroom apartment inhabited by three corper friends—Uyi, Ovie and Peter—who had put their resources together to rent and decorate the space to their taste; but Ovie and Peter had found a way, together with a couple of their other friends who lived next door, to turn the place into a den of sin. Uyi, the conservative among them, was upset that his home had been turned into a brothel and was highly irritated by the brazenness of his roommates and their utter disrespect for the female folk they constantly took advantage of. He had spoken to them severally about how uncomfortable he was but his complains fell on deaf ears. Ovie and Peter had even gone far enough to turn…

Test-The-Terone: Can Men Really Do Without Sex

Conversation between two mobile users. One female and the other, male. BABE: R u gay? GUY: WAT???????!!!! BABE: Well I… GUY: Well, wat? BABE: D last tym I was at ur place, u rebuffed all my advances n its not d 1st time. GUY: Oh dat… BABE: Seriously r u gay? No guy has done dat 2me… GUY: Oh, beliv me ur sexy! But its not u, it’s me. I’m….celibate. BABE: Huh????????????????????????? According to Harris Interactive for the Durex condom company in 2012, 53% of Nigerians have sex at least once a week. It means that more than half of the people you see walking on the street are going to have or have had sex this week at least once. The statistics continue, stating that men claim to have sex 66.5 times a year over women’s 57.2 times, that means men have sex 16% more times than women. Another study based on secondary data analysis by the 2003 Nigeria…

Fish Brain Clan (9) Habeeba

HABEEBA Tuesday Evening. Kaduna I walked into Baba’s room. He was seated on his bed, counting the beads on his Tesbi, praying silently. I turned away and walked back to the sitting room. It had been a long day and a very bad one. After what I went through with Kabir, all I wanted to do was remember the opulence I saw in his family’s mansion. It was a sad reminder of the kind of life I didn’t have, the kind of life I desperately desired. From the polished marble floors to the lavish walls and furniture, everything overwhelmed me. I wanted very much to get a tour of the whole mansion but Kabir was more interested in getting me into his room. I had been drawn in by deep, exotic fragrances of the orient and had my eyes being caressed by thick, rich curtains with shimmering gold trimmings. That…

Fish Brain Clan (7) Bem

BEM I’m out of juice. Today I nicked an artery and almost killed my patient, almost got myself into trouble. Standing in the theatre, scalpel in hand, I lose track of time until the consultant calls my name. I look at him. I’m sweating. I can’t think clearly. “Bem?” the consultant calls again and I give him a glance, still distantly. A nurse swipes at my sweaty forehead and some kind of cool takes over. I know I must continue. Four hours later, I step out of the theater. I’m done for the day; I’m headed home. I don’t even change clothes. I just head straight for my car in my scrubs. Loretta is on my mind. I haven’t seen her in six days and I’m beginning to worry. The last I saw her was at Accident and Emergency on Sunday after our fight. She avoided my eyes as she…

Test-The-Terone: The Nigerian Woman and the Real Man

THE NIGERIAN WOMAN AND THE REAL MAN The Nigerian woman is like every other woman. She has all the appealing body parts and her anatomy is definitely female but she surprisingly has more to offer. The Nigerian woman is raised to love, obey, respect, satisfy and nurture her man. From the time her little feet are able to move around and she can use her hands as well, her mother teaches her how to take care of the home. She starts from serving her father and brothers and uncles and at some point when she becomes old enough, her mother leaves the running of the household in her hands. Now, I know we’re in a modern age and westernization has affected us a lot but the females in Nigeria are still expected to serve the males no matter their upbringing, religion or even social status. The Nigerian woman grows…

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