Love Sex and Relationships, series, Test-the-terone

Test-The-Terone: The Nigerian Woman and the Real Man



The Nigerian woman is like every other woman. She has all the appealing body parts and her anatomy is definitely female but she surprisingly has more to offer.

The Nigerian woman is raised to love, obey, respect, satisfy and nurture her man. From the time her little feet are able to move around and she can use her hands as well, her mother teaches her how to take care of the home. She starts from serving her father and brothers and uncles and at some point when she becomes old enough, her mother leaves the running of the household in her hands. Now, I know we’re in a modern age and westernization has affected us a lot but the females in Nigeria are still expected to serve the males no matter their upbringing, religion or even social status.

The Nigerian woman grows into learning how to cater to the emotional, physical, psychological and sexual wishes of her man. So what is the man’s duty, in return? The obvious answer would be, to provide her needs, be it financially or materially because the general opinion is if you give a Nigerian woman money, then you have made her happy. Seriously, I can’t fault anyone who believes that because of the obvious lifestyles of many female folk today. But let’s just be honest here, a woman needs much more than that. She wants communication, connection and emotional intimacy. The need to be loved and heard and understood never really goes away. Women will always put aside the clothes and jewelry and shoes and find somewhere to cry if they’re not loved. They will always envy that other woman whose man treats her like gold and not a commodity on a stand. They will always find a way to seek emotional gratification when the finer things leave them feeling empty. Yes, more than you know, the Nigerian woman has a heart.

The biggest complain women have today is that Nigerian men are very unromantic. They face love with the same cutthroat manner they face their businesses. Romantic gestures to them are not necessarily acts of love but prelude to sex. Some of them are so caught up in their manliness and ability to be turned on by a woman and act on it, that they believe it is all it takes to be a man. Well, I hate to burst your bubble (if you’re one of said males) that it takes more than a full dose of testosterone to become what a woman needs. Ever wondered why certain men are easily taken in by the female folk? They steal the hearts of not just the girl with the full curves but the frustrated woman selling soft drinks on a tray, the mother-in-law from hell and even the veiled Muslim sister who cannot look into your eyes without bending her head. They have simply learnt the complex language of the Nigerian woman, who surprisingly does not demand much at the end of the day.

All she wants from a world that has obviously lost it is a genuine man. To put it in our language here, she wants a real man.

Who is a real man? Below, I have defined him in very simple terms.

A Real Man Doesn’t Sweat The Small Stuff

The way guys act when they are confronted with trivial issues is something I have always admired. To them, if it’s not affecting their pockets, stomachs and erogenous zones, why bother? What really is the sense in busting your nuts over something that is total BS. There is nothing wrong with a man expressing his emotions once in a while but when he allows them get the best of his thought process, then his estrogen level needs to be checked. Men enjoy a good laugh any day and at their own expense! You’re as short as M.I, someone pokes at your pot belly, your ex calls you broke ‘cause you didn’t buy her a Peruvian… whatever it is, it’s not worth your sweat.

A Real Man Is A Grown Man

There is nothing as off-putting as a man who just would not grow up. Being a man is all about responsibility. Adam was not given the task of screwing the lesser beings in the garden but of taking care of them. Even if a guy has no one to be responsible for, he should be responsible for himself. Proven, women mature faster than men and it takes a longer time for a man who is age mates with a woman to understand the concepts she has already fully grasped, but that doesn’t mean he should go about his life acting like he’s an overgrown baby. Mature men control their emotions and respect the feelings of others. I hate it when I hear men tell their women that the best cook is their mother and no one else will ever cook like her. That is babytalk. Your mother breastfed you, raised you with her tantalizing meals but now you’re a grown man. It is time to create your own life and swing on your own branch of the tree.

A Real Man Is A Gentleman

Opening doors, pulling out chairs, asking a lady what she wants, giving her a helping hand… these things never grow old. “I no be gentleman at all” should never apply when dealing with a woman. A gentleman is not a weakling; he’s a sensitive, kind and passionate soul wrapped in a rock-solid heart and muscular exterior. He has exquisite taste and proper etiquette. He is in control of his temper and his tongue. He respects his woman and generally everyone else around him. In today’s language, he’s a big boy, and it has nothing to do with his paycheck because a gentleman never shows off how much he’s got. He has high moral values and does not go broadcasting his affairs to anyone.  He is not afraid to bare his heart and can easily let his guard down, knowing it doesn’t mean he’s less in any way. Gentlemen are not stupid. No, they are the wisest of the bunch. Wonder why that that girl behind the counter shouted on Guy A and blushed at Guy B the moment he opened his mouth? It was all in a manner of speaking – literally. He spoke and she was mesmerised by how only a “hello” left her feeling all woman.  Refinement and simple courtesy always score big. And finally, a real gentleman does not give and expect something in return; for the sake of his own self-image, it is simply beneath him to go that low.

A Real Man Is Faithful

Big, strong, reliable. We all know that one. But truth is, we hardly ever see him. He’s most times big and strong but not reliable. He says I will be home by nine but comes back the next day. He promises heaven and earth but he’s hell to live with. A faithful man should be like the sun that rises every morning. To the general populace, especially guys, it’s in a man’s nature to whore around. After all, Solomon had a thousand women and was the world’s wisest. I totally understand that argument but the women were the beginning of Solomon’s foolery and what also ended him, as the Bible told it. For those people who are disillusioned, it is a lot of work to cheat than to stay faithful. So keep it simple and stay with one woman at a time. No one knows what goes around these days. HIV/AIDS is just one of them. Ask the man who found himself dead in a dumpster because he screwed the wrong girl.

A Real Man Has Real Money

Money talks and the poor guy gets the boot. Women love to know that their man can provide their basic needs. I am not even going to start bashing those who buy their women expensive stuff; it’s their own prerogative. If you have it and feel she’s worth it, what’s the big hoo-ha? If you don’t have it but can afford a nice pair of earrings once in a while, why not? The point is, earn a living and save some money so you can invest in your tomorrow and enjoy your today. Real money doesn’t have to be in millions or even hundreds of thousands. Real men with real money are blessed men who use their little or much faithfully, and have no added sorrows.

A Real Man Knows How To Work The V

It is said that a man does not multitask, that once he sets his mind on something, he gives it his full attention until he’s done, so how come he is always in such a hurry when he is making love? What is the rush? It is also said that men love adventure, so why on earth is the woman’s body not a new challenge or a voyage worth undertaking? Seriously, why make so much noise about getting there and when you finally get there, you just want to get off? Thank God for the internet with all the info it gives to help the one minute man. It would be atrocious in this day and age for a guy to fail to satisfy his woman.

A Real Man R-E-S-P-E-C-T-S

I am not talking about respecting the womenfolk. I am talking about a man putting a value on himself and making sure he doesn’t lower it for any female. Yes, you’re a man, you have needs and they have to be met, doesn’t mean you have to go after everything that struts by with a vagina. Set your rules and stick by them. Quit the tactless jokes and inappropriate pick-up lines. Have class. Quit settling. Quit being a pushover. Band wagoners always fall off the track because it’s never easy keeping up with the Joneses. The Joneses know why they are the Joneses and are happy being the Joneses, so what is an Olamide or a Hassan doing in their wagon? There is nothing as attractive as a man who stands out in the crowd. He is always exceptional even when his quirks are obvious. Be confident and lastly, cast not your pearls to the pig or she might turn around and rend you.

A Real Man Takes The Lead

Today, we’re in a civilised age with women taking the roles of men, doing better what men do and generally proving that you don’t need to have an Adam’s apple to be an Adam. But the problem is, if it’s not Panadol, it is not the same thing as panadol. Men who know their place, never give their power away. They might lend it out temporarily but a real man always leads the pack. They do not bully, abuse or manhandle people in their care because being the head sometimes means stooping low to carry others on your shoulders. So my point here is, if you’re in a relationship, be the head, even though, we all know what makes the head turn.

A Real Man Dresses To Impress

Finally, this might sound like the most trivial point but it is equally important. I love that guys can just pick something off the rack or bed and slip into it with no worries over whether it matches their shoes or jeans but what makes that attractive is having a wardrobe that looks classy enough to be casually sexy. I am not referring to men that fight for mirror time, wear their girlfriend’s powder and super-skinny jeans and in the end come out looking like they went through a color-riot, gay makeover. And I am not also referring to those men who still wear baggy jeans, deep v-neck shirts and gold necklaces. The whole idea is looking exquisite and manly, and at the same being comfortable. Women are excused when they feel pain in their dressing but a man’s wardrobe should be unrestricted and easy but stylish. As a guy, you love what you see when a woman dresses to impress you. I think it’s only fair if you make the same effort to impress her back.


To wrap it up, a real man, as a said earlier is a real man and he can’t fake it. He is not apologetic for who he is as part of the male species and enjoys his masculinity immensely. He loves sports, hangs out with other guys, does not have too many words in his vocabulary, is not crazy about nurturing, has no idea what it means to multitask and unashamedly appreciates the beauty of the opposite sex whenever they walk by. In conclusion, when he loves his woman, he does so unrepentantly and that is simply what a Nigerian woman needs.

Are you a real man?


© Sally


Author. Screenwriter. Blogger

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  1. emmanuel chux says:

    If these are just what the women are asking from us, they ll get it. It‘s not much. Every man knows that his woman needs all these things. They are things within his primary assignment as a man.

    1. Funny thing, not all men know this

  2. Commentin on luv nd relationship.Diz isn’t fully valid indeed..infact i must sy it’s a prsnal vw.plz dr writer dnt wrt as if u’r d only1 in d wrld’u shuld at least kw dat ppl r diff.som myt sy kul,som nt tru whl odas wl rsv dir commnt eda bcz d written tot smz childish or d mata or ‘wl..,it’s ur own vw bsz u’r on d ball post.plz readers nd writters in ol u do, olwyz kw dat sex outsd marriage is a tipical sin.plz am nt tryin 2 sy ur wrtup is nt gud neda am i tryin 2 play a holy-holy prank or fellow cos i dnt wnt u 2 c me as a holy prsn ‘we ol ar runnin dsame rate 2 attn heavn’so nobody hz d ryt 2 sy he or she is holy .ol am tryin 2 sy is dat in ol u do..,put GOD 1st weda mordern tym or nt coz ol we do must be gvn acct of.a virgin should be given hr due respect bt dat shuldn’t brng vainglorious attributes bcz ol doz who lfts demslvs must be degrated weda de lyk it or nt,it is d wrds of d scrptur.i agree whn d writter made reffrnc 2 gud character but we ol shuld sincerely accpt dat a gud,respectbl,resnabl nd responsibl gal would kp hr virginity no mata what, if nt 4 anytin aleast 4 god nd his commandmnt unlz she wz deflowered by accident(raped or forced events dat apnd blw uncles nd young gals)whc god wl nt tryin2 sy odas shuld be dwncstd or treated friviously bt ol am syin is dos who hs made mistks shuld pry 4 4givnz nd return 2 god he wil definitely 4gv u.i kw som myt read dis nd sy-lt me leave dis de writter must be a preacher ‘d truth is dat am nt shy or dishonored 2 be a rated a preacher’ bt weda preacher or nt try 2 grab d msg. rememba dos days whn prematured sex was prohabited ,dos days we wr stl at d high pk of moral traditional flourish tins whr gud, no sicknz lyk AIDS nd d rest.SEX of a tin is wat is bringin condemnation 2 d wrld bcz it ol nw seems nuffin can go wtout sex.dir’s a syin:== ‘accpt prematl sex nd evry oda rues nd woes will be grtly urs’.it’s true. evn a 10yrs old child cn tell u sex nd its tactz ‘y’?bcz dat’s wat de see nd hear. ‘thou shl nt commit adlo3y.isn’t it d 6th commandmnt? Or didnt u hear it?wat kills we humans is unrated ignorance.wl..,i must cut my wrds shrt bt ol i wnt 2 mk clear 2 virgins is:-=if u’r a virgin nd u’r out dir readin dis pls dnt chng ur step instead cup it wt unsuperficial gentlenz nd gud hrt.dnt chng bcz of som certain statements. olwlys rememba dat dir’s a gold medal 4 de ‘…………’ I GUESS U KW DAT URSLV’.

    1. Thanks for sharing ur views, Cyndy Nnenna Anonymous but this post was claearly not tagged virginity, premarital sex, HIV/AIDS etc. I’m talking about real men and Nigerian women whether virgin, married or single.
      Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN

    2. Marvey says:

      Anonymous, why don’t you just start your own website then since you know how an article should be written and what it should contain. I’m not sure why this ended up being about sex. Sha when you’re leaving a comment type full letters it’s easier to read, since we are dropping random advice.

  3. Gr….8! I luv d literary work it’s simply cztomised nd well informed.keep it up dude.

    1. Thanks, Cyndy Nnenna.

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