I wrote this a while ago and thought to share…
According to a recent research, 8 out of 10 Nigerian men do not use condoms. This was revealed by Bright Ekweremadu, the Managing Director of Society for Family Health, SFH. He said over 1.8billion sexual activities occur in Nigeria yearly, and 80% of them are unprotected.
Mr Bright added that if Nigerian men were to use condoms, no supplier in the world would be able to afford the quantity of condoms they would need. *clears throat* like, really? Is that how much our brothers love to have sex?
Anyways, old news. If you’re a Nigerian woman, you already knew that. But you also know that no matter how charming a guy is or how rich or how sexy, your health should be your first concern when it comes to your sex life. You’d think many females know this but it so happens that even the best of us get carried away by the moment. Women have allowed men who use certain tactics and manner of speaking to dissuade them from having protected sex. And that’s just plain irresponsible in this present time when diseases like gonorrhoea are mutating or when people can get cervical cancer from HPV viruses.
Below are some of the excuses and tactics men use to avoid condoms. They may sound like basic excuses but they have worked so well and are still working for many womenfolk.
1. Intense Foreplay: He gets you in the mood, touches the right buttons, uses his tongue in places on your body you didn’t even know existed and all you can think of is going all the way. You want the full package badly; you can’t wait to do it and you throw caution to the wind. This is an old tactic men use. Be wary of it.
2. Just The Tip: This is one of the funniest I’ve heard and had personal experience with in the past. The guy goes “baby, just the tip; I’m not going in, I swear.” If you’re not going in, then what are you doing at the door. Smh. Please tell him to dress his little man up even if he’s just going to hang by the door.
3. ‘I am clean; you are clean’ Excuse: I really don’t know what ‘clean’ means but Nigerian men use that word a lot. I’m thinking it means he is disease-free and she is disease-free and thus why bother about protection? This is a very vague excuse. Guys that use this don’t want to be upfront about their health status because they are not sure they are really ‘clean’.
4. ‘I’ve been tested already Excuse’: Just like the above, he uses this to let you know he is safe but here, he is bold enough to tell you that he has gone and done the test already and he is guaranteed to be disease-free. Sister, run from this particular guy. He’s even worse than the one above.
5. Emotional Blackmail: ‘So baby, you don’t trust me?’ That’s a classic line. Or he just starts sulking when you insist on a condom. Using these emotional tactics, he aims to bully you into parting your legs for him without any form of protection.
6. Telling You You’re Too Sexy, He can’t Wait: The sweet-talker with the sugar-coated tongue. He’ll probably tell you that you’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever been with. Yimu. All na for mouth. Don’t be fooled.
7. It Feels Better Skin to Skin: Of course it does feel better skin to skin. Everyone knows that; you don’t need a man reminding you. Also watch out for words from him that describe how ‘sweet’ his penis is and he wants you to have the full experience and a condom will stop pleasure. Tell him sex is beyond the penetration; remind him of foreplay. Also add that he will last longer if he uses the condom but first he should take his time with you during foreplay so you can get there at the same pace as he.
8. Birth Control is the Woman’s Priority. If a man tells you this, he is simply telling you that if anything happens in the future, he won’t be held culpable. To him, his job is to have sex and ejaculate inside you; it’s your job to deal with the messy aspect afterwards.
9. ‘I won’t cum inside you’: Heard that line before? Yeah, many guys use it. “Don’t worry baby; I’ll withdraw before I cum” And that is how many women are now mothers with that excuse. The same guy, after shooting off his load inside a woman will tell her she was too sexy and so he couldn’t help himself. Ladies, don’t be deceived. Yes, many guys can control it and they’re experts at it but sometimes…just sometimes… they can’t help it.
10. Lying on Top of you During Foreplay: Another old trick here. He takes full control and his fingers work your genitals and you’re in cloud nine and… oops! His fingers have been replaced by something else and he’s inside! You complain (weakly) and he hushes you and tells you to just go with the flow. Smooth operator.
‘I’m allergic to condoms’ Excuse: This is new. But I have heard it from my friends on two occasions. Maybe it was the same guy (I’ll have to ask). well, I thought I should add it here. Certainly, there are some people who are allergic to latex found in condoms and get adverse reactions to it but the percentage is really low. In short such people are hard to find. But why do I have a feeling that their number will soon increase in Naija?
‘I’ll Marry you’ Excuse: Smh. If you believe this phrase then you believe anything.
‘My size is not in the market’ Excuse: This guy’s peen is usually very big or small or narrow. Hence, he gives excuses why he shouldn’t use a condom. Don’t believe his lying ass.
Direct Request: Now some guys will just tell you flat-out, with the straightest of faces that they ain’t down with condoms and they are not going to have sex with you wearing one. They will also add that they don’t use condoms at all and give you this expression like they don’t give an ish what you think. It’s either their way or the highway. Go ahead and hurl their asses out the door.
In conclusion, simply stamp it in your mind that sex is not all about pleasure. If it was, then none of us would be here in this world. The only reason you’re in existence, reading this, is because your parents chose to have sex without protection some years ago. But some people didn’t even get that lucky. While others got knocked up, they got knocked down dead by diseases, especially HIV. There are also other STDs that affect us women of which men are carriers alone. You will do yourself well to protect against them.
The wise woman of this age carries a condom around. She takes full responsibility for her sex life and health. She also knows how to say no when the sex will not favor her.
Please, don’t dull. Be part of the change that alters the statistic I put above. Jokes apart, whether Nigerian men are good in bed or not, 8 out of 10 going unprotected is nothing to smile about.