So I thought about resigning. A lot. For a greater part of the night with my head on my tear-soaked pillow, it seemed like the only option. However, I am not known to be a coward or a quitter. I grew up with boys and through them, daily, I learned what it meant to face my screw-ups.
Kissing my boss was probably the biggest screw-up in my life, right after losing my virginity to an idiot. I didn’t walk away from that idiot when I felt regret. I braced four more days with him until my brothers beat him to a pulp.
Similarly, I made up my mind not to quit my job. I was going to face my boss and give him the explanation he wanted. It was up to him to fire me or not.
And my feelings… well, they were to remain buried because God knew I could never stop going crazy over that man. That kiss had made things even worse, although it also cleared my delusions about me being The One.
Come Monday, my boss kept me waiting. I was all nerves behind my desk. He didn’t need my service for one second and the poor secretary was loaded with everything. When evening eventually came and many of the day staff were already on their way home he called me in. I walked into his office and stood by the door. He called me closer but didn’t offer a seat. I maintained a position before his desk.
He held a cup of steaming coffee in one hand while tapping away on his phone with the other. As usual, he was looking spruce. It was the end of a very busy day and still he had it together even while dressed in a t-shirt and pair of denims.
“So did you enjoy the kiss?” he asked and a glass shattered somewhere in my head.
Um… what is wrong with this man? How was I supposed to answer that? I already had a speech rehearsed with clear reasons how my lips stumbled over his. I was going to blame it on my pain medication, on the fact that Lola had messed up on my mind, on the horniness that was plaguing me all these years, on the weather, on the government, even on childhood trauma! I was prepared to tell him whatever but definitely not for this.
“Did you enjoy the kiss, Anna?”
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