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Chronicles Of An Adopted Child #1 – Semioné Abi

This is a new series from Semioné Abi. He is an upcoming writer and needs your feedback. The work is unedited, so please do read and tell him what you think about it. He wouldn’t mind constructive criticism.

Marie woke up feeling dizzy and all she could ask about is her aunt, Mirabel, who she has not set eyes on for one month.

“Mom, when is aunt Mirabel coming back”?

Her mother, Celina, who is tired of Marie asking about her aunt every minute of the day, gave her the usual excuse “Your aunt is coming soon, I talked to her yesterday and she extends her greetings.”

For the fact, she has not heard from Mirabel for a week plus.

Marie is a six year old child of Tom and Celina Ndum. Tom and Celina were married for five years without an issue, and then finally got a baby girl after much pressure from both families. Mirabel is Tom’s younger sister whom Marie is so much obsessed with, a graduate who just got a job with one of the big companies in town after two years of searching.

“Mom, why won’t aunt Mirabel talk to me when you call her?” Marie says with a sad face

“That’s because she calls when you are in school darling”.

“But that’s not fair, I’m sure she does not miss me much the way I do her” Marie said still with the sad face.

“Come on darling, your aunt misses you as much as you do her; she is just busy with her new job. Now you wouldn’t want her to lose her job would you?” she said to Marie with a poke

“No mummy”, Marie says with a smirk face, “if she losses her job, she will not have money to buy gift for me when she is coming”.

“That’s brilliant of you darling, now you just be patient and let your aunt work. She will come home once she is free and you will see her ok?”

“Ok mom, tell her to buy my favorite chocolate for me if she is coming.”

“You know she will darling” Celina said while lifting Marie off the bed “oh my God; who do we have here! What did you eat in your dream; you are heavier than you were last night”.

“I went to the kitchen in my dream and ate all the food there that’s why I am this heavy”

“I can see that” Celina said laughing “next time I’ll set rat trap for any rat that trespasses my kitchen in their dreams. Now you go get ready darling so you will not get late for school”.

“Ok mom” Marie hurries out of the room to the bathroom.

She carries Maries’ uniform and place on the bed, and then sits on Maries’ bed for a while.

*****

Let me take you back a bit, say seven years before now.

Seven years ago, Tom-Silly as they are famously called by their friends, which stands for Tom and Celina had no idea how their lives six years from then will be like. They imagined if the house will be filled with kids running around and causing silly troubles, or if it will be without kids, thereby making the future seven years the same as the present day. They also imagined if it will be “with or without” family love, because they fear their both families will just give up on them considering the fact that they all wanted grand children.

Celina heard a knock and as she went to open the door, it happened to be her mum and dad.

‘well in families, mother in-laws are always the ones to hate their daughter in-laws because of the inability to give them grand children, but in the case of Tom-Silly, the two families joint together to make their lives miserable’.

“Mum, Dad” she looks at her watch “its 8am in the morning, what are…”

“Yes we know its 8am; Celina’s mum cuts in. Do we need a time schedule before we come to visit our daughter and her wife”?

“Mum, you have started again, please stop referring to my husband as wife, he is my husband and I will not take it likely with you again if you refer to him that way”

Tom walks in “what’s going on here? Mum, Dad, what an early morning surprise”

“oh yes dear, we just came to see how our daughter and her wife are doing, and as we can see they are both doing well, only our daughter has not yet impregnated her wife”

Tom gesticulated, and not wanting to say anything, kept quiet.

Celina totally ignored her mum and turned to her dad “dad, its 8 in the morning, and you almost would not have met us at home, what are you two doing here”?

“Well, almost do not kill a bird does it? Well thanks to your mother, I had to come here this morning to see your two gay faces”

Cecilia and William start laughing.

“Well hahaha very funny, what if you didn’t meet us at home, what would you have done?” Celina spoke out with anger

“Well in case you tend to forget easily, we have our own keys, so we do not need your permission to come to this house” Cecilia said.

“Good morning Mr. William” Tom said

“Well good morning Mrs. Thomas. And how are you and your husband doing?”

“Dad”

Celina said with an angry face

“Ok fine, we came here to talk to you two”

“About what” Tom asked

About you and Juliet and your future together not forgetting the future of our family “Except you two want to die together without an issue like Romeo and Juliet in the Bible”

Cecilia and William burst out again, laughing

“O no darling” Cecilia cuts in “the ones of the bible are Romeo and Juliet, but in this case, it is Romeo and Romero, or should I say Juliet and Juliana, because they are probably going to die childless”

The two were about to start laughing again when Celina cut them short

“Stop it you two, stop it. Now that’s enough insult for one day, you should leave this house this minute. And for the records, Romeo and Juliet are not in the Bible but in a novel and they are fictitious, they never even existed”

“Oh no dear, we are not leaving, not until we state our mission here. And off the records, that’s the main reason we sent you to school, so you will know what we do not know. And you should be able to do the same to your own kids or when you get to the age at which we are now, you will not have someone to correct you like you just did now so you better sit down and welcome us into this house” Cecilia said, with anger.

“Then be fast about it, because I am already late for work” Tom says

“Fine, we came to give you an advice. We talked about it, not just us, but with your mum and dad too Tom and we all came to one decision”.

“Which is?” Tom-Silly spoke at the same time.

“Go and adopt a child or better still children”. Mr. William said in a throaty voice

Tom was surprised but Celina was not.

“Baby, did you hear what your dad just said?”

“I did”

“And you are not going to say anything to that?”

“Well, they are right; after all we are childless, and have been for years now. But not anymore because I am pregnant”.

“PREGNANT”?

The three of them chorused at the same time

“Yes! You heard well” Celina said. “Pregnant!”

“Pregnant since when” Tom said “and why are you just saying it now?”

Celina moved close to Tom and held his hand

“Because I wanted it to be a surprise baby”

She leaves his hand and faces her parents

“But these two people just had to force it out of me”

She turned and backed them

“I wanted to call the whole family together then make the announcement. But thanks to you two, you just had to make it come out prematurely.”

“I hope the baby doesn’t” Mr. William said, but his wife hit him on his head to shut up.

The entire room was filled with ecstasy at the earshot of that news.

Tom moved over and kissed her with glee,

“Baby, this is the best thing I have heard in my entire life…….well except for the day you said yes when I asked you to marry me.….. But it’s still the best; so I’m going to be a father?

*****

“Daddy” Marie called out to her dad, thereby making Celina who was lost in the past regain her consciousness, and realized she was still in Maries’ room.

Marie ran to Tom

“Who do we have here” tom said “my glittery little princess”

“Good morning daddy”

“Good morning princess, and which kingdom is my princess going to all dressed like a goddess?”

“To the kingdom of school daddy”

“That’s my girl, make sure you treat your subjects with care or you take the risk of losing them to another kingdom huh”

“Of course daddy” Marie said “you know a princess has got to do what she got to do or loss what she’s not to loss”

“Oh I see you still got that line” Tom says lifting her up. Just then Celina walks in holding Marie’s school bag and lunch box; she kisses Tom and turns to Marie

“Ok now let’s start going or you will miss your bus”

“But mom” Marie said while her dad drops her “Let me just spend a minute or two more with dad, I didn’t see him throughout yesterday you know”

“Oh no princess,” Tom said “your mum is right. I am sure you’ll not want to miss your bus”

“But dad”

“Come on princess, a princess should not be late to her royal meeting. You do not worry; this weekend is going to be for just the two of us, no third party”

He turns to Celina and gives her a wink

“Yaaay I can’t wait for the weekend daddy”

“Ok now, enough of the love, let’s start going baby” Celina said.

Just then Marie kisses her dad and runs out of the house. Then Celina turns to her husband, pecks him.

“If she misses her bus you will go drop her in school so pray she doesn’t” she said.

“You know she wouldn’t baby. Now you have a nice day will ya?” Tom said

“Of course baby, make sure you do too”. She says.

“By the way I didn’t see you earlier, were where you” tom said

“Oh yes! I dozed off in Maries’ room; you know I didn’t have a so good night rest, thanks to you” she said while exiting the door…

Marie is loved in school the same way she is at home because of her adorable life style. Her life is not that of a six or seven year old, but much of a teenager and people adore her for that, except for one person in her class ‘Caleb’ who dislikes her so much and bullies her every time he sets his eyes on her.

Caleb is a 9 year old boy, the oldest in the class and known for his rough ways. But he has a special dislike for Marie and will do anything to see her cry every day before she goes back home. However, Marie has never seen Caleb as an issue to worry about so no matter what he does to her, she never tells anybody, not even her aunt Mirabel.

Marie came back home from school looking all tired as she has been running all the way from school, being chased by Caleb who made her miss her bus so he can bully her but couldn’t because he couldn’t catch up with her. Probably because she is faster than him, and she is the current 4×4 gold medalist champion in the school which she won in the last inter house sport competition.

She got home and was surprised to meet her grandparents, but all she could do is to greet them, take her bath and sleep then wait for her daddy to come back so she could tell him how her day went. She tells him about everything, except Caleb. She will change the scenario at which she ran from school home to a good one that will make daddy laugh and possibly be proud of her. All she has to do is delete Caleb and tell daddy that she was training to improve in her racing.

 

 

 

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34 Comments

  1. Something tells me Celine wasn’t really preggy. Just said that to get her parents to let she and Tom be.
    A nice start to what I believe will be a great story…Sally doesn’t bring trash here. More grease to your joints @Semione Abi

    1. thank you @Kany…..i hope you keep enjoying it

  2. olaide says:

    9c start to wat I blv will be an awesome story

    1. thanks @Olaide…i hope u keep reading

  3. harrison says:

    Itz a nice write-up! Keep it up,but you must have read the other stories of the other writers and sally on this blog, So I suggest you make your stories Longer! Thanks

    1. thanks Harrison, will do my best to make it longer

  4. etoros says:

    nice but reads too much like a fairy tale and no catchy scenario to make me want more.

    1. lol. thank you @Etoros…..its just the first series….catchy scenarios coming in the other series

    2. lol. thank you @Etoros…..its just the first episode….catchy scenarios coming in the other episodes

  5. imotolab2014i says:

    hi Mr Abi, this was a good read but i think the descriptions was a tad too much. its like documenting everything step by step which makes it seem kinda monotonous. at a point i decided to jump and read what exactly was going on. this said this and this said this and this den decided this. i hope u get my point. but well mayb its allowed since its chronicled. and also may i ask if this story is from the viewpoint of a child? looking forward to reading more. please do make it longer.

    1. Hi @imotolab. thanks for the tip, but like you said, its chronicled, so i didn’t want to leave any action out. The story is from a view point of life .. A family life because all of them played a vital role. You’ll get to see that along the line. But thanks xo…….hope to continue hearing from you

  6. nice story line.

  7. Phortunate says:

    We are keeping our fingers crossed.n

  8. Haleemah says:

    It has the beginnings of a great story but needs some work. Is it a narrative? Stick to either present continuous or past tenses. Do not mix both. And try to mind the correct use of catch-phrases and quotation marks. More power to your elbow.

    1. thank you @Haleemah…yes its narrative. will do..thanks very much for the tip

  9. wumi says:

    Nice start

  10. rakiya says:

    Very nice,really enjoyed it

    1. yay…thanks @Rakiya….

  11. peachesgurl says:

    You gotta read between the lines… I can see a story here. I hav a feeling that aunt mirabel might be the mother. Whr is mum and dad when she got home from sch?! etc hmmmmm. Sally dear, you no dey disappoint. Kudos!

    1. thank u Peachesgurl….but we’ll find out sooner or later!! keep reading

  12. Adeleke Julianah says:

    I’m so glad you bring this story here Sally.
    Been following it on 360Nobs before.
    But along the line, they stopped. Thanks for bringing it here. So glad you did…

    1. thanks @Juliana. when Sally left 360nobs the posting process became slower…but they’ve not stopped it, i sent them the latest episode last week, waiting for them to publish it. But thank you so much for following the story….i hope it has been gud so far

  13. kenny says:

    Nice story line but som parts was nt jst workin for mi ,like d part of Celina’s parents.But can’t wait to know if Celina was truly pregnant.

    1. thanks @Kenny, fingers crossed

  14. Winicares says:

    something tells me its going to be a nice read, thanks for sharing this with us @ Sally feat Semione. but Sally let me warn u dont play that ojoro council u played us in Unfulfilled promise

    1. lool….thank you @winicare….

  15. its interestin

  16. thanks @Doyin

  17. toyenlon says:

    Nice one, looking forward for more.

  18. Noreen says:

    Hi dear. It’s a big step deciding to write and for the public at that. Well done! However, you have some work to do. There is inconsistency in your tenses, some subject-verb disagreement and confusing punctuations (quotation marks). Still, keep it up.

    1. will do @Noreen….thaanks for the observation

  19. amina says:

    It’s very interesting,can’t wait for the rest episodes.

  20. Oladayo says:

    Good write up. But I think some of the stuffs Marie says is too intelligent for a 6 year old well except you’re trying to play her as a genius but usually 6 year olds don’t speak so great English. However, it takes a good writer to have the confidence to show his write ups to the public so Great Job!

    1. Thanks @Oladayo!!!! Marie is six years old but acts older than her age….that’s the way she was brought up….along the line you’ll get to know what I’m talking about…..just keep reading….thanks!!!!

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