MAHMUD
The cigarette burned between his lips unaided. A long ash hung loosely in the air, waiting for the slightest movement to be blown away. But Mahmud was immobile; his gaze was held by a budding mango tree in his backyard. It was the only slice of nature in his compound and it often offered him solace. Today he needed that solace as all hell had broken loose. He was about to confirm that Wuraβs life was on the verge of being turned right on its head.
This mess began when he returned home and found her crouched in one corner of his bed in tears.
βWura, whatβs wrong?β
The first response was a pillow landing hard on him.
βShey youβve won your bet! I hope youβre happy!β
βWhat are you talking about?β
βIβm pregnant!β she cried.
βYouβre pregnant,β he repeated slowly; but he already knew. βOkay. You went for a test?β
βNo. I was feeling really weird when I was cooking and it got so bad I had to rush outside to throw up! That was when it all hit me β the mood swings, the constant need to pee and my breasts, theyβre paining me! Itβs all your fault! Your stupid, expensive pills did not work!β
And she was inconsolable after that. He suggested a blood test at a lab nearby but she declined. He tried to hold her but she pushed him away and told him she was irritated by his touch. He was left with no option but to sit outside and smoke cigarettes to ease the burden that was weighing him down, which was mostly his conscience. She was right about the pills not working but it was only because he had given her nothing really. The morning she took them, she had woken up with guilt and couldnβt stand the sight of him. On her way out, she remembered she was yet to take the pills he purchased the day before. When she returned for them, he walked into his bathroom where his medicine cabinet was located and acted on the first impulse that hit him.
He was in love with her. He wanted her. He couldnβt dare let her go. Her church and family were bound to tear them apart. He wasnβt going to let that happen. His past couldnβt repeat itself.
So he took two Vitamin B complex pills and shoved them in her hands with a glass of water. When she reminded him that both drugs were to be taken twelve hours apart, he objected and used the βIβm the doctor; I know bestβ line on her. He watched her swallow the pills with a sense of satisfaction. He was almost a hundred percent certain she was going to get pregnant as he had noted that she was ovulating on that first day they had sex. Nothing was going to separate him from Wura. Not religion and certainly not contraceptives.
βMymood?β
He heard her in the kitchen and he turned his eyes away from the mango tree. It was time to confirm if the pregnancy really took or he had shot blanks.
βTokunboh, are you okay?β she asked.
Mahmud studied her carefully. Her eyes were swollen. He felt sorry that he was the cause of her pain.
βIβm good. You?β
She pressed her lips together and let out held breath. βIβm pregnant out of wedlock, for a Muslim… Iβm walking on sunshine, Tokunboh.β
Her sarcasm made him smile. βIβm sorry.β
βI have to go to church.β
He put his cigarette out. βLetβs go do the test.β
βNot interested. I calculated and even with my irregular period that could sometimes have a 45-day monthly cycle, Iβm late. I donβt know how I didnβt see the signs. It was those drugs. They deceived me.β She hissed. β4k nonsense! Postinor 2 wouldnβt have done this to me.β
βCan I just check if youβre really pregnant, doll face?β
She angled her head to the left and fresh tears spilled. Mahmud entered the kitchen, she let him hold her as she cried.
βIβm so sorry.β He meant the words but not for the reason she thought.
He took her hand and led her to his bedroom. After she sat on his bed, he stood before her and knotted his brows. βWhen was your last period?β
βMm?β
βYour last period. When?β
βErmβ¦ it was on the second.β
βOf February?β
βYeah.β
βJust lie down and take off your underwear let me confirm it.β
Wura hesitated and sat motionless on the bed.
βIβm not trying to have sex with you. Geez! Lie down.β
She still didnβt move. Mahmud sat beside her. βNo matter what comes of this, donβt be scared. Iβm here. Nobody will give you hell as long as I can help it.β
βThis is not how I planned my life, Tokunboh. I wish I hadnβt…β
βHey, it has happened. Letβs move on because thatβs really the only option we have.β
He gave her a peck. βLie down. You know the drill.β
Mahmud entered his bathroom and reappeared with gloved hands. When Wura was ready for him, he got about his business. After he withdrew his fingers, he found her sobbing but ignored her. He discarded the gloves, picked a pen and a notebook and ran some calculations.
βYou were too tense and it seems too early to tell but I felt something. Sex for getting pregnant occurred on the second and the third. You were ovulating on the second, I remember clearly. So by my calculations, you are four weeks, six days pregnant. Roughly five weeks.β
βHow is that possible? We had sex only three weeks ago.β
βYeah, the thing is we start counting from a specific time before the sex occurred as a general rule since weβre not sure when the actual conception happens. So our baby is coming in November, mami. You should be happy.β
His words upset her further and he went to the bed to calm her.
βShey you finally won your bet.β She tried to push him away. βItβs all in your plan. See how youβre smiling.β
He laid her head on his laps and took to playing with her hair.
βMy life is finished,β she cried.
βIt is not.β
She cried for a long time and stopped to blow her nose in some tissue he offered.
βMy brother will kill you and me together. And my churchβ¦ Ah God! Iβm done for.β
βCan you stop acting like this baby is a bad thing?β
βI knew youβd say that.β She pushed him away and stood up from the bed.
βI have to go and meet these marriage committee people.β
βAnd tell them what?β
βI just want to hear what theyβll say.β
βKeep the news of the baby to yourself for now. And tomorrow, weβll do a scan. No alcohol, no rigorous work, no running after clients under hot sun…β
βWhat is wrong with you?! Youβre not even bothered that my life is turned upside-down! Youβre just there acting like everything is cool! And I donβt want this baby. Iβve been saving money for my masters and now I canβt go. I donβt want this baby!β
Mahmudβs expression transformed and he got hold of her hand as she leaned over the bed to pick her handbag.
βDon’t do what I think you want to do.β
Wura shook her head at him. βYouβve forgotten that this relationship in the first place is a jokeββ
βWhat the hell is wrong with you?!β Mahmud roared as he sprang up and towered over her. βJust because you see me trying to be positive all the time, you conclude that you can just keep tossing me away and taking me back anytime you feel like?! You think I donβt have my own fears?! My family knows about you already and they donβt want you! So donβt think I donβt have issues of my own!β
βMahmud, my hand is paining me,β she squeaked.
He hadnβt realized he was still holding her. He let go and she stepped away from him.
βThis thing between you and me is a big mistake.β
βWuraola, I donβt want to hear that you were walking or sleeping or in a taxi or even breathing and you miscarried! That type of story will not go down well with me! You donβt want to see my other side!β
βIβm going.β
βIn short, Iβm dropping you off. But letβs go for a scan first.β
He took her hand again and led her out.
GENESIS
She felt him press against her from behind. His left hand reached beneath her nightshirt and found her waist. He held unto it as he tickled her earlobe with his lips, and then his hand traveled all the way up in slow, small circles until it rested on her breast.
βNick, stop.β She wriggled.
βYour wahala is too much, madam. I have to start begging you this morning abi?β His breath was hot on her ear. She was a touchy-feely person and that alone could have sparked something in her, but she was far from that frame of mind. She moved away from him and lifted her weight off the bed and into a comfortable sitting position.
βWhatβs wrong?β
She shrugged and lied. βNothing.β
She hadnβt been herself since the previous day when she met Bashorun in his office. They both had shared a look, one that she was grateful Dominic didnβt catch. He also wasnβt aware that Bashorun had stopped by at her office in the nightclub to have a word with her before he left the mall. The moment Bashorun walked in, he went round her desk and turned her chair in his direction. A pair of cold, frightening eyes assaulted her body until she felt naked under his scrutiny. He inched closer. Haunting memories from the day she was raped barged into her mind, but she held herself and mirrored his stare.
βI donβt know what youβve done to him but itβs working a little too well. And I donβt want that. That is not what I paid Mamisi for! I wanted him financially ruined, not loved up and richer! Tell her I am disappointed and I will pay her a visit soon. But while youβre still here playing Juliet to his Romeo, make sure you let him know that the event center would be a huge mistake. He must not go ahead with it. Do your job and use your lady parts well, sweetheart. Don’t engage his intellect. You are not his business partner.β
Bashorunβs eyes lowered to Genesisβ breasts. βMaybe after everything you and I will have dinner?β
Genesis forced out a smile as she watched him leave her office.
Prior to that moment, she was oblivious of which clients wanted Dominicβs head on a platter. It was a shock to discover that Bashorun was one of them and he was Dominicβs close friend. He was a regular at Motherβs monthly beach parties that often turned to orgies for a select group of wealthy men. Not that Genesis participated in any of those parties, but because they always fell on the days of their cyclic sacrifices at the beach, she was often there. Bashorun was one of the lewdest amongst the men, sleeping with two to three girls at a time. He was nothing like Dominic.
After Bashorun left her office that evening, Genesis wrestled within herself. There was a struggle over what to do. Was it the best time to pick sides? The best time to find her wings and say goodbye to Mother? Was Dominic a man worth sticking out her neck for?
He was still a mystery to her. On the surface she knew him, his desires, his outward visages. But there was no locating his core or knowing his intentions. They were shielded by a stony heart. Sometimes she was lucky to have it turn to flesh briefly, only to have it steel up before she got the chance to reach him. But she had fallen, taken a deep plunge into him. Her dive carried emotions she could neither control nor explain, and it came to her at startling moments of the day. She could be in the middle of a business meeting and the thought of him would just cross her mind, forcing her to blush uncontrollably. Or something on television could conjure up an image and she would begin to long for him. Sometimes, all alone in her room she strutted around aimlessly, recalling times they spent together and replaying them in her head until she wore herself out with excitement. She was like a giddy school girl with him, and he, like a silver fox, sly and mysterious but nonetheless, a compassionate lover. It was a good fusion; she just wasnβt sure how long it was going to last.
βSince you donβt want to talk, Iβll be in my study.β
Dominicβs voice in her ear brought her out of her contemplation. He planted a kiss on her shoulder and walked to the adjoining room.
The morning was still young. Birds were in a tweeting mood and Dominicβs favorite doves had perched on the railing of his balcony for their morning feed. Dominic was having one of his good moments. The soulful strings of John Mayerβs acoustic electric guitar coming from his study told her it was best not to disturb him. Yet she just couldnβt do away with the niggling state of her conscience. She pushed her feet into a pair of gold-colored slippers and went to him. The sheer woodiness of the study somewhat calmed her. She could perceive the faint whiff of what he had told her was Cedar of Lebanon in the air and it blended with his signature Oud wood perfume. Careful not to disturb him in the middle of a business phone call, she lifted her weight up quite lithely and sat on his desk. His hand immediately reached for her thighs and stroked them gently.
As she heard him nearing the end of his conversation, her pulse began to quicken. This was the most difficult confession she had ever had to make in her life. She was strongly considering the option of not getting through with it.
βHi.β He kept his phone on the table, swung his chair towards her and aimed for the buttons of her nightshirt.
βNick, stop.β She held his hands. βI have something to tell you. A confession.β
βA confession. Hmm… Sound serious.β
She swallowed, but her breathing only got worse. βItβs aboutβ¦.my pa-past. No, not my past. About my life. Iβ¦β
Dominic stood up and pressed his weight on both hands, over the tableβs edge, leaning into her. βGen, youβre hyperventilating. Breathe easy and talk to me, baby. Whatever it is, I can handle it.β
She looked into his eyes. They were focused, serious, and she got scared. She wiped the sides of her nose where perspiration pooled. He turned on the air conditioner and shut the door to the study. When he got back to her, she put her arms and legs around him and began to tug at his boxers.
βMake love to me,β she requested. It was a distraction. She wanted an escape but he caught on.
βNo.β He moved away. βSpeak, Gen.β
Her eyes couldnβt follow him as she needed them to concentrate on a birth mark on her thigh. There she kept her focus and drew strength to tell him all about her life, bit by laborious bit. Surprisingly, fiery tears stinging her eyes stayed back. The bitterness and pain couldnβt be done away with, though. They spiced each sentence she uttered and Dominic stood in a corner, leaning on a bookshelf, listening to her with concentrated eyebrows.
She was spent when she was done and the apprehended tears fought their way down, but Dominic let out a hoarse laugh from nowhere that chilled her right to the bone.
βMami Wata? Mermaid?β He laughed again. It carried an angry undertone. βIβm supposed to believe everything you just told me?β
βYes.β
βGenesis Raymond, I am not a man who plays around…β
βI know.β
βYou think weβre a joke!β
She covered her face and tears filled her eyes again.
βI told my daughter about you, I got into a disagreement with my friend because of you. I am serious here, but youβre making me look like an idiot with these ridiculous stories about mermaids! Tell me something believable!β
βWhat I told you is the truth…β
βThat youβre a mermaid?β
βNo, Nick, Iβm a normal person. Look…I told you about my life because you deserve to hear the truth. You always asked to know my past and I just shared it with you.β
βIβm sorry Gen. Itβs just so hard to take in. Itβs like my life has become a soap opera. Mami Wata? Those things even exist?β
βIβve never seen one, though. Itβs believed that they sometimes come in human form.β
βI see. So are youβ¦ are you using charms on me right now? Anything in my food, under my bed or in your…” He let his eyes rest between her legs. βAny voodoo or black magic there? Not that I believe it works but are you using anything on me?β
βNo, Nick.β She looked at him with honest eyes. βI swear, Iβm not.β
βHow long have you been this person?β
βI was born a Mami Wata child. My mom, my grandma were Mami Wata followers. They died in a fire accident and Mamisi took me in. Mamisi and my mom were friends. My mom was also a Mamisi before she died.β
βSo youβre not a Christian?β
Genesis wiped her nose. βIβve been to church many times, but no, Iβm not a Christian.β
βWow.β
Dominic walked to a minibar in a corner of the room and poured himself a drink. He asked if she wanted some. She declined. He sat on a wing chair, away from her. With the way his brows were pulled together, she saw that he was in serious thought. The disappointment couldnβt also be hidden.
βSo you believe in some half-human, half-fish mumbo-jumbo?β He came back to earth after what seemed like forever. She didnβt reply his question.
He refilled his emptied glass and walked to her. βWhat is the end game? To see me financially destroyed or dead or what?β
βMamisiβs clients are hardly ever killed. Some of them have committed suicide, though. The end game is just to ruin their lives. My job is usually to make the men Iβm assigned to less than they are. I studied in the art of seduction and I was taught how to emasculate a man while letting him believe he is in control. Itβs pure manipulation of the mind. He feels he is constantly in heaven, although heβs in hell. He realizes it only too late.β
βAnd the dance you did at the club?β
βMamisi taught me. Itβs called the Dance of the Seven Veils. Itβs spiritual.β
βWhat the heck is that? Do I need to call a priest to cleanse the place?β
βYeah, maybe you do. Maybe I need a priest too… I donβt know. When I danced that night, I was asking for your soul to be tied to mine, and I also consecrated the club, opening seven doors of success.β
βWho were you asking?β
βTo be honest, I donβt know. I was taught to do all these things and I never questioned. I just did them. I learned about demons and spirits and angels and all that, but seriously I donβt know who or what Mamisi actually worships.β
βBut who are you, Genesis? Is your name really Genesis?β
βYes.β
βWho are you?β
βI wish I knew, but I donβt. You donβt know what it means to just wake up one morning and discover youβve been on a journey to nowhere, that your life has had no direction because someone else scripted it for you. But I met you, Nick, and started to see that my life could have meaning. I started living for something and it feels like freedom because you let me be myself. I donβt even try to impress you or reel you in. You just take me as I am.β
βBefore you go all lovey-dovey on me, letβs clear this out. Baby, Iβm not bothered that you were sent to destroy my life or whatever it is your mother person thinks sheβs doing. What bothers me, Genesis, is that in this time and at your age, you actually believe in some sea goddess. Have I been making love to an airhead? I mean, your business acumen is way up there but all this doesnβt sound…β
βNot anymore, Nick. I donβt believe anymore.β
βWhat changed?β
Genesis bit her lip and put her head down again. βI got raped…by five guys, ordered by Mother. And from that day, I stopped believing in a higher power that was supposed to be there for me yet turned away when I needed it most. I lost my faith that day, Nick. It was the worst day of my life.β
Dominicβs expression softened. He placed his drink on the table. βWhen did this happen?β
βThe day after my birthday. Mother drugged me andβ¦they raped meβ¦β
βWhy would she do such a ruthless, barbaric thing?β
βBecauseβ¦β Genesis lips trembled as a new wave of tears consumed her. βBecause of you. She said I was in love with you, that my feelings could weaken meβ¦β
βI am so sorry, Gen.β Dominic held her and her weeping got worse. She clung to him. βOh Genesis, you poor thing. Youβre such a smart but foolish girl. Why did you let me get intimate with you after what you went through? What were you thinking, though?β
βI wanted to heal, to be strong.β
βNo, no, no. You donβt heal like that. Who misled you into thinking that way and who is this Mother sef? I want to meet her.β
Genesis released herself from his grip. βNo, Dominic. You cannot touch Mother. She knows people. She knows the president…β
βI donβt want to do anything to her, Gen. I just…β He went pensive. βYou know what? Letβs do it this way. Don’t leave her yet. Keep doing what it is you do with her until we both figure out a way to deal with the issue.β He kissed her hand. βBut you know what this means, right? Youβll have to be totally committed to me now.β
Genesis nodded.
βWe have a common enemy and sheβs going down. Can you remember the faces of the men that raped you?β
βNo,β Genesis lied.
βDon’t worry, weβll get them when the time is right. So sorry, baby that you had to go through all that.β He hugged her again and rocked her slowly to the slow rhythm of the song playing at the moment
βNick, thereβs more.β Genesis sniffled.
He stopped his movement and she untangled herself from him.
βItβs about your friend, Bashorun.β
βYeah?β
βHe knows Mother.β
Dominicβs face tightened and she saw his eyes lose their light. He reached for his drink.
βIβm listening…β
Ghen ghen! This is a serious something. Oh! Poor Wura. I can imagine how she feels. Genesis seems cool sha. Thanks Sally for today’s episode. Hope there wld be one tomorrow? π
I saw Wura getting pregnant but she should keep the baby for “mymood’s sake…
I’m glad Dominic didn’t push Genesis away abi is it love that’s in control?
Good work Sally…
And she finally spills the beans. But what would be the outcome? Would mother allow this budding love or would dominick stick with her to the end?……..
Sally has done it again.wish it will just continue.
Thnks SAL
Sally!!!!!!!! u av killed me with suspense oooo.. an avid ghost reader buh dis episode pushed me to comment.. waoh.. can’t believe bashorun wants Nick down.. very nice piece i must confess. may ur pen neva dry.
I hope that theory for calculating the time of conception is true because I’m going to begin using it to wow folks! When I read about Mahmud’s expensive pills in the last episode, I guessed they were not the real deal. After getting pregnant only a million times in the past, Wura shoudn’t have allowed her naΓ―vety get the better of her.
Wow!…
I just op Dominic is nt up to sometin?Wura shld keep the baby and marry a man who loves her regardless of anytin
Been looking upto this all week, the suspense is getting more, Sally pleeeeeaaaaaassseeee, we need more o.
Sally baby,y u end am dere now?I want mor(oliver twist)gud job.lov u and d story.jus kip up d good work.
Eagerly waiting!I am wowed!
I’m still holding my breath Sally. I won’t kid myself that I know how this is going to turn out cos that your brain can just conjure something unimaginable. Great job as always Sally.
Okay maybe Genesis’ bleached toto is not such a bad idea after all. I really do hope her and RMD can get rid of that Mamisi person together. And I like Mahmud, now let’s see what sister kate Middleton and the rest of the hypocritical bunch will do.
Bashorun don enta am oooooo,woow its reaaly a huge step for Genesis and Wuraa.thnks to Sally for this episode,now I can tk a nap
Why would you end this episode like this *crying*
This is a ghen!!! Ghen!! Ooooo
Omg this is getting intense ….plz sally just post d next episode tomao or Dis night…d suspense will kill me if u don’t.
Just when the Ghen-ghen part was about coming up, you had to cut it till next week*frowns+crys*..I’m loving the Mahmud character,Bashorun don enter Kasalaa…Great job Sally,this is how you keep me addicted…
Just gr8!!!….i wish 2mao iz 29th of march!……i neva so it coming diz way..
Am thrilled…Good wrk Sally…
Oh wow Sally… Mind blowing… Shame Wura, she is just confused for now… She will accept it soon and love the baby… Awwww Gene, I did not see this one coming… Thank you Sally… You are trully gifted… Can’t wait to read more…
JEeeeeeez…nw dats what I call a twist…madam. U 2 much…Dominic is gonna deal with dem BOSS
Just when I was about to adjust my position to a comfortable one to better absorb this piece, u had to end it there. Pls for d sake of all that is pure and good in this wicked world, post another episode tomorrow plssss we are still riding on double portion… Next level oh eheen
I hardly complain of short or long episode but this just got me when my excitement was up,wish i just wish,its a wish o dat u put up one 4 my sake 2mao,..(she laffs) no mind me,Oliver Twist like them…..Sally they are people u try letting go and u will live to regret the rest of ur life and u are one of them,hope u got my drift,…..good job as ever
Speechless!!
I believe that this was all mothers plan all along. knowing fully well that genesis would snitch cos she’s in love thereby forcing donimic become protective and act in a voltronic manner
Jeeeeezzzzz!this is wickedness o!this suspense is not healthy @ all!can’t wait 4 next week!
What LOVE does,,,keep ur frds close and ur enemies closer…
Mahmud o……dont i jx love him…i like his tactics, sharp boy and i love genesis too, d truth cud be very liberating atimes
This is serious, even dominc’s close friend is his enemy.
Iam in love with ‘Mymood’ myself….if na me be Wura ehn…sowie to dose hyprocritcal bunch of fools ib church o….Sally #thumbsup#
Life has thought me that formidable predicaments, will invariably make one a better person.
It’ll flung one to a path that’ll define his/her existence in life.
It’ll strengthen one’s faith and makes one to persevere through harsh weathers.
It’ll project one’s inner core that’ll be a catalyst for greater tidings.
Even though some ordeals are self-inflicted due to man’s consistent escapades. Our diverse experiences whether self-inflicted or a conspiracy, will in the long run be a pre-requisite for your purpose in life. In the moment of adversity, one may feel dejected and pessimistic but with patience, perception and an unrelenting spirit, one will surely conquer.
This episode delves on the terrific, zenith point in the lives of these 4 characters; Wura, Mahmud, Nick and Gene’s. They all at some point were the cause of their present circumstances, because they were young, negligent, too ambitious and heedless. Whilst, at other times, they just couldn’t escape the trap being orchestrated by those around them.
Life is beautiful but you need to be armed for all that comes your way. It won’t be sweet always, bitter and sour drinks will be presented to one involuntarily. Your outlook at such times will determine your success or failure.
It won’t be rosy for Mahmud when Wura finds out that he didn’t give her any contraceptive from the onset. It was premeditated by him. I feel for Wura. When she thought, she’d closed the chapter to her past life, another crises is swirling before her eyes.
I know Wura and Mahmud will cement their wounds but it’ll be a bumpy ride before reaching their final destination. I wish them both a smooth recovery from their ordeal.
I’m so, so happy Gene opened up to Nick. That’s a step in rebranding herself and realizing her self worth. With that, she’s won’t be Mother’s puppet anymore. She has to be obstinate but meticulous, it’ll help in achieving her aim. I believe Nick will be by her side as the battle has been aired.
I can’t wait for the next episode, Sally dear. *smiles*
Kudos!
xoxo
Sally dear,am glad that gene is rebranding herself,i pray and hope nick wld stand by her as for Wura and Mahmud can their love conquer all d wahala??? Abey Wura shld just leave that her church jor and start attending Coza
just when i was raxing to read more, u ended it. Its nt fair ooo. Mami and mymood, pls dnt let religion separate u guys. Gen and Domi, i hope it ends well. Sally, abeg drop anoda episode quick oo.
Smartest move ever made, Genesis. Spilling your guts. Now no one can hold the truth over her, at least not where Dominic is concerned. Nice intriguing episode, Sally.
Mymood and Wuraola? Common intention between Bashorun and Mother to eliminate Nick. Why do I feel Genesis is playing games ? Aunt Sally, I know you always have a thing for twisted yet captivating stories, so I won’t conclude. Just watching you in 4D. May your pen never run dry
Ghen ghen! Dats all I have to say
the whole thing coming together now…
i know wura and mahmud would have themselves in a complex situation. mahmud seems a self absorbed person though, giving wura the wrong drugs despite not sorting whatever they had to sort isn’t best nah. dude just turned the babe’s life in another direction.
the battle line is drawn between mamisi and genesis, bashorun and dominic, and the quartet. alignment and re-alignment of forces, and we’re in for something fantastic.
big ups sally
Thank you, Seye
Sally u’ve come again! Perfect twist
Finally a ghost reader comes through. Thanks Sally for leaving this sweet story here after two years. And you know the good part? I don’t have to wait weekly for each episode. I jes munch my biscuit and enjoy each episode.