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SMART, SINGLE & LOVES SHOES – TOM FORD & UNEXPECTED GUESTS

Something IΒ couldn’t quite escape from came up and I’ll be traveling to my villa for the rest of the week for something important. All posts will be on hold util IΒ get back. My sincerest apologies. If some miracle happens, I might post. If you want to be my secretary to help this blog run in times like this, indicate interest. I will pay you with prayers and kisses πŸ˜‰

See you all next week Monday or thereabouts! Don’t miss me.

Ibukun continued fromΒ here.

I’m looking at my glass of sparkling water that had arrived some time during his speech willing it to transform into a big ass pink snake, or an octopus, or a witch with a broom!

Anything!Β Anything so I can escape this moment right here, so I canΒ avoid having toΒ respondΒ to Jide.

I am speechless.

This is not the plan!

He isn’t supposed to β€œcatch” feelings or want commitment. No promises of forever and ever or sweet musings.

So I do what I know how to do best.

I take control of the situation.

Me: β€œOh okay. Would you like to go out with me this Friday, well, tomorrow evening?”.

He looks a little confused.

Me: β€œI want to take you to my sister’s wedding anniversary dinner tomorrow. Would you like that?”

Omg! What am I doing really?

He hasn’t even said he loves me and I’m offering him a chance to meet my family already!?

Oh Lord!

My sisters will embarrass me, my Mum will tell him about my escapades as a young child!

If my brother tells him the story about how I wore boxers and men’s briefs all through my firstΒ year in uni, I will die!

Oh no!

My embarrassing baby photos scattered everywhere in the living room!

This is the first man I’d be bringing home in my adult life and my mother may just be excited enough to hand me over to him for marriage.

Jide: β€œYes I would love that!’ I am free all weekend and even If I weren’t, I’d do everything to meet your family. Do I need to get anything for mummy?”

OH NO! Did He did not just refer to my mother as Mummy? Jide is a jumper and he just jumped without a parachute.

Me: β€œNo, that won’t be necessary, you’ll come for me atΒ 4pm. It’s a formal dinner, so feel free to come along in your suit and tie.

I immediately envision Jide in aΒ white Tom Ford suit. Nothing too formal like Β a 3 piece. Just casual and laid back, European style. Β Ooh and the new season Tom Ford loafers.

Adney Alligator

Yum Yum Yum!

He probably has his suits streamlinedβ€”nipped in jacket, slimΒ pants with a single pleat.

He smiles and nods in approval.

Jide: β€œI am a little giddy, the thought of meeting your family… I’ll be on my best behavior.”

He this as he lays his hand on his heart. I am laughing now, and not from sheer hilarity but nerves. But he actually does look like he is excited at the prospect of meeting my crazy family, his eyes are sparkling and he is grinning like a kid with a new toy!

Me:Β β€œJust promise me you won’t indulge them once they start talking to you about my childhood escapades, oh Lord! And if they offer to show you my childhood album, please don’t laugh at my missing teeth and oh Jide I have so many embarrassing photos, I have photos where I’m half asleep drooling, photos in my diapers. OMG!”

He takes my hand and my Rolex time piece scrapes against the cutlery making me jump.

Jide: β€œCara mia, I am already planning tomorrow in my head. I can’t wait to meet your family, I promise to be on your side in all debates.”

I give him the look. He is being sarcastic.Β My β€˜You think say I come Lagos to count bridge’ look.Β He catches on quick and starts laughing.

Me: β€œHardy harr harr! If you play along and tease me, I’ll spank you Β black and blue! I have a cane!”

Jide: β€œI’ll be there, yes. I’ll come with a Kodak too.”

I giggle.

Me: β€œWhat in the world would you need a camera for?”

At this point I have totally forgotten where we were and ifΒ onlookers were watching usΒ at our table. Men may have tried to catch my eye. and women passing our table purposely brushing against Jide were ignored. We never noticed all that , we were lost in our conversation. Laughing and holding hands.

Like teenagers on their first date. And then…

Read the rest on STYLEVITAE

Sally

Author. Screenwriter. Blogger

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15 Comments

  1. helenchels says:

    I would love to be ur secretary and I think the pay is quite nice. safe journey to and fro. best wishes to hubby and daughter.

  2. Wish u journey mercy,bt am gonna miss u xoxo much.dt i ws already countin down tl tomao for d next episode on fishbrain vows.sobs!!!pls post it today b4 u leave na,i dey beg u

  3. Barbie says:

    Will miss u loads..Have a safe trip. God bless u

  4. Nike says:

    Have a safe trip!

  5. ShyChic says:

    Thanks for sharing,I had a laugh,I didn’t even know the story had ended,wanted it to go on…smiles. I will definitely miss you Sally. Have a safe trip.

  6. Safe journey. We’ll wait even tho it it’ll be tough (heart break)

  7. Bt just dash us fish brains episode joor (please)

  8. Ustyn says:

    Say me hello to your kindred,meanwhile this your villa movement came at the wrong time 4 me….invite isnt workin 4 me

  9. chibaby says:

    wish u a safe journey & travelling mercies. hoping u will post before monday#wink

  10. Arome says:

    Safe trip Sally!

  11. gift says:

    Ijeoma dear,,ie safe trip,,didn’t get an invite,saw ur update on fbk but couldn’t access it,,rilly sad,,I hope am invited

  12. oyin says:

    Safe trip!

  13. Nwanne says:

    Go with God Sally. I can just imagine all the fresh food you will eat.

  14. cutie says:

    Hmmm, I would have loved to be your secretary o but this payment eh! Lol. Safe trip ma’am. *plenty village fresh food* *drools*

  15. Tee says:

    Lol, f**k up sister

Comments are closed.