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It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #19

Good morning. I just want to announce to you that I’ll be at the Grill and Read Lagos on Sunday to talk about The Fourth Finger. I’ll also do a reading from the book. If you are free and want to come over, you’re very welcome. Details are in the poster below: And now for today’s episode, which is two-in-one. Enjoy! . . . . . “Sir, I’d like to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.” Wura gives Kasiobi a jaded stare. She is on the verge of her fourth episode of tears, having cried in different chapters on her way to the Ditorusins. Family lunch, they call it. But to her it is torture. Forcing herself to watch people laugh and chatter heartily, to pretend to be happy as them, to plaster a constant grin on her face, is worse than how she is already feeling. She desires…

Best Man Duty #13

Read previous episodes of Best Man Duty Accuracy with time was needed in my trip to Port Harcourt and I had that on my side. There has to be something good about Cynthia as all that has to do with her always falls into place. I had told Sam that Cynthia would meet me at the airport but there was a change. The client I was to meet offered to send me a pick up vehicle owing to the fact that he needed to get things sorted fast and fly top Abuja for another meeting. I had no choice but to go with his arrangement, and with that went all my rehearsed airport reunion with Cynthia. “Jus lemme know how to hook up wif u when you’re done” I grinned again. She would not even complain that I informed her late about the change. Of course, maybe I had been…

Best Man Duty #12

Previous episodes of Best Man Duty Time was favourable when I locked eyes with Cynthia at the wedding reception. It however stopped being my friend when she came back to sit and chat with me. I really cannot remember how long ago I thoroughly enjoyed time with someone; I mean time enough to shut the whole world out. As I reminisced on the outing, and our first serious interaction after Sam’s wedding, I knew I had been struck by an arrow. We went straight to be with The Clan at The Meeting Point for the rest of that Saturday evening. The boys noticed my unusual quiet and asked to know what was going on. The idiot that knew just told them “he’s tired, emotionally and mentally” and his fellow fools started laughing. I did not bother to dignify them with any response. I just continued with my chicken and chips…

It’s Another Novocaine Saturday #6

I love you guys. I don’t even know how to start expressing how much. When I said show me love on Bellanaija, I didn’t know y’all will take it that seriously. I was dumbfounded when I saw the comments. Good Lord! Na so una love me? How do I say thank you? How do I show my gratitude? The love you expressed in the comment section doubled the sales of the book, beating Fish Brain Madhouse records which has been there since January. Hmmmm… Thanks a lot. And here’s that my famous kiss. So in retaliation, I will give the book freely to three lucky peeps next week. Today, enjoy IANS. I’ll see you in the comment section.. . . . “Awwww.” “Isn’t this the cutest sight?” I groan loudly. I don’t know for how much longer I can sit in this car with indecisive females and take one more…

Naija Heels On Cobbled Streets #7 By Olajumoke Omisore

“Get me a drink.”    Niyi told Andrew after Clara drove off. He would have darted after her if Andrew hadn’t stopped him. “That’s not a good idea. Ignore the girl. You don’t want to unleash that demon you become when you drink.” Niyi didn’t feel like a demon-to-be. He felt like a victim. The one chosen to be the butt of their joke. His head was spinning as if he had already consumed a whole barrel. “Get me a fucking drink.” Niyi shouted at Andrew with the force of the rage, ripping him apart from the inside. And as soon as Andrew disappeared back into the pub, he turned his attention to the ash bucket next to the flowerbed and kicked it so hard, its content flew into the road. He walked back in, feeling the need to curb the rage that had manifested in his balled fists. Andrew…

Naija Heels On Cobbled Streets #5 By Olajumoke Omisore

Read Previous Episodes Of Naija Heels On Cobbled Streets Sade remained in the same position, staring at him as if he had just announced that he had five wives and a mistress back home. “Andrea is Jennifer’s sister,” Niyi added. “Lovely to meet you.” Andrea stepped forward, holding out a slim hand that had a gold bracelet on its wrist. Sade shook the hand. Her lungs filled with air again, relieved that the woman wasn’t much more. She couldn’t remember if Jennifer ever mentioned having a sister. Not that the women looked anything alike. Andrea’s eyes were olive green. Jennifer’s were brown and she had the oomph of someone that knew how to live which wasn’t apparent in this woman’s polite manners. Andrea left for home after the introduction, telling Sade it was lovely to meet her again. Sade relaxed a bit but she still couldn’t shake the uneasiness that…

Naija Heels On Cobbled Streets #4 By Olajumoke Omisore

“My darling friend kept something from me.” Peju turned her face away from Niyi. Her head whirled as if someone was tapping it with a wooden spoon. She felt woozy. Yelling out the truth would stop her pain but she’d decided that it wasn’t her place to ruin whatever Niyi and Sade had. Knowing Niyi the same way she knew the creases on each palm, the relationship would perish before flowering. He would harm it himself. “It is finished now Big Bro. Don’t worry about it.” “She kept something from you?” Niyi had to ask. He wondered if Sade had discovered the truth about Clara and his brother and decided to keep their secret. But how did Peju find out? From the way Peju kept looking at everything in the restaurant apart from him, he knew their conversation had ended. His sister-in-law’s stubbornness was the quiet, unyielding one that…

It’s Another Saturday…#24

Honey’s Secret So the other day Oba asks me how I cope with two wives and I give him a pretty straight answer. I tell him what he wants to hear – that I’m having a ball, basically. Double the pleasure, double the fun. It’s not beans to wear two wedding rings. I think I deserve some respect. You’re never going to hear me complain about my marital status. I love both women and they love me back. Case closed. We have bumps like every normal family. Jide tells me I’m living in a fool’s paradise. He calls my situation, in quotes, “a fucking freak show.” I take no offence. He’s my brother and he means no harm. Besides, he’s been cynical since Honey dumped him. I honestly like her as a person but the moment their breakup clocks two months, I’m hooking him up with one of my friends. I…

The Immortals’ Code #9

TADE’S BAR/ A FEW MINUTES BEFORE RICHIE’S DEATH The table was silent. Bottles of beer were left opened but unconsumed, except for Richie’s which was presently glued to his lips and had no plans of making it back to the table. Tony looked at him blankly, his eyes clouded with unshed tears. His elbows briefly rested on the wobbly plastic table before him and the ignored bottles of beer shook, threatening to be toppled over. No one bothered about the table or the beers; each person was mourning Tina in their own silent way. Her death had come as a rude shock to all of them. Moses, in particular, still believed someone was pulling a nasty joke. He refused to accept that Tina was dead even after he saw her lying lifelessly on Tony’s bed just after midnight that morning. It had been surreal for him to watch Richie and…

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