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Where To Find Breasts #4

Click here to read previous episodes of Where To Find Breasts Yenkat had never seen so many guns at once in her life. She felt like she had walked out of her normal existence into an action flick. The scene left her with intermittent spells of goosebumps. How was Kyenpia comfortable in this type of place? The location was a house belonging to Leonel’s father. The man, popularly known as Captain, had been an ex-military officer of the highest ranking who was still highly respected in the army, and in places of power. His father, Leonel’s grandfather, had once ruled the country as the Head of State. Leonel, his brothers and cousins, grew up in military and political settings, with soldiers and guns, and a constant sense of enemy presence hovering over them. Kyenpia had known this before pledging her future and that of her unborn children to Leonel. Yenkat…

Where To Find Breasts #1

Here’s the first episode of Where to Find Breasts. The second one comes on Tuesday, next week. Enjoy! Thirty-three was no different from thirty-four. Yenkat discovered this on the morning of her birthday. She felt as old as she had felt the night before. Maybe older by a minute. Not that it mattered to her. Outside, the morning air was frosty. Dark clouds blanketed the sky. It had been raining for days. Angry, gusty, cloudbursts. And Yenkat had been locked in, allowing her mind go numb as she let the radio play nonstop. Her gateman wouldn’t let the darn generator rest. Each time the power went off, he brought life back into the house in a matter of seconds. Even if it was 3 a.m. in the morning. She had had the mind to tell him not to bother with the generator at odd times of the day, especially when…

Dugo #20

“We need to talk.” His words flew over her head like a bird winging past. She shoved her textbooks into her backpack and pretended he wasn’t standing so close to her. “Tabitha?” She zipped the backpack. “Did you hear me?” “I’m late for school.” “No, you’re not. This is just three minutes after six, and the school bus doesn’t get here until six-thirty. We have enough time to talk.” Tabitha kept her head bowed and crossed her arms. This was their first conversation since Dugo showed up. The girl had gone silent mode on him. It was something he was used to. Whenever she chose not to speak to him, it would bother him for the whole of five minutes, and then he would get over it. He didn’t ask her why she was mad this time, because he knew. She was pro-Dugo, and Dugo’s visit a few days ago…

Dugo #18

“I can’t let you do this.” There was a couch between them. A table too. And that pesky little beagle that couldn’t decide what to bark at. “Ace?” Dugo spoke in apprehension. Ace had her laptop with him. She had just gone to use the toilet. This wasn’t what she expected to see as she returned to the living room. “Put the laptop down.” “You can’t do this.” “Ace…” “Dugo… The moment you press that button and send that email, you can’t take it back. And you know what it’s going to do, right?” “I know, Idowu.” “It’ll affect the school and Luper.” “I know that.” “And you still want to get on with it?” Annoyance took hold of Dugo. “What is this, Ace? Why are you doing this now?” “Adaugo, Acadia International is twenty-one years old and it’s unquestionably one of the best schools in this country. Built on…

Dugo #17

If Luper hadn’t stayed so long at the mechanic’s shop, if she hadn’t come downstairs for a cup of tea, this moment wouldn’t have been happening. But here she was, granting Udazi audience again. The backdoor was open and Dugo sat there, stirring her cup of tea. Udazi had made herself comfortable in a plastic chair in the kitchen, long legs crossed. Dugo had to admit that there was something stately about the woman. Her beauty was ageless. Even in her sixties she slayed with her elegance. But maybe it was all part of her foul packaging. Her aesthetic presentation had deceived many along the years, covering the blackness of her heart, and it was still doing so. Dugo couldn’t comprehend what type of person she was. Udazi carried out her malevolent acts as if she was doing the world a favor by them. Only a short while ago, she…

Biyankavitch #13

Previously on Biyankavitch… The Bahagos were on a weekend getaway at Liana Resort. Things were going well until the baby of the house, Jethro, fell into a coughing fit that let him grasping for his life. Bianca’s verdict: He was poisoned. His girlfriend was the top suspect. Here’s what happened next… Facts about Jethro’s case. He didn’t die. But he was almost there. And he could get there any moment. His father had threatened hail and fire on the Bahagos if his son didn’t come out alive. Ola, his girlfriend, was not a killer – in principle. She readily confessed when the back of my hand assaulted her baby face. I didn’t tell anyone in the family that she was responsible for poisoning Jet, because I wouldn’t have been able to get information from her if I did. I knew who was responsible for the attack, and I was going…

Dugo #14

She saw him today. Her brother. He walked past her in the bank. She might have been mistaken because he looked chubbier and was pushing a beer gut. But it was him, alright. Half of his right ear was still missing. Mazi Enemuo, the village womanizer, had been responsible for the missing chunk that year. Her brother had dared to snatch one of his women and the man chased him with a cutlass, almost taking his head off. Nothing was done to Mazi Enemuo, of course. He was the igwe’s in-law. He didn’t even pay to treat the ear. Mama handled the treatment with the money she got from selling aki and ukwa at Eke market, the same money they all ate from. Adaugo recalled hawking her okpa for longer hours the following week. She’d walk all the way to 9th Mile where commuters coming from the middle belt and…

Dugo #13

How do you break up with someone without being a monster? Ace’s text to Dugo went unanswered. Can I just ghost her instead? Still, no reply from Dugo’s end. Ace crushed the empty beer can in his hand and picked another from the fridge. It was too early to be drinking anything alcoholic, but he needed to remain in one piece when he shattered Joana’s heart. She entered the house, springy, and with all the wow of her beauty. She was wearing the same dress she had worn on the day they she dumped him, as if it was a sign that the heavens were okay with what he was about to do. “Just coming from church.” She dropped a kiss on his cheek and wiped the spot. “Not straight from there exactly. Stopped at the market to buy things for turkey stew.” Ace took the shopping bag she had…

Dugo #12

“Hi.” It was all her pale lips could utter as his strong arms wrapped themselves around her. She shivered a bit. She was exhausted. Ace’s hug was more than welcome. She had felt like a floating balloon before now. His hold and the feel of his body brought her back to earth. The only problems was that she wished it was Luper hugging her. She told Ace this. “Then why didn’t you tell him you were coming back today?” “Tomorrow is his birthday. I want to surprise him.” “So that means you guys are back together?” She gave no reply. She received a peck on her forehead before Ace picked her luggage and began towing it down the alley that led to the parking lot. A little over two weeks ago, she had buried the cremains of her ex-husband. He had insisted on being cremated and his ashes stored in…

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